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Arayvenn · 08-07-2020, 03:23 PM

November 12, 20XX

Dear Diary,

My talent agent has advised it would be wise to take note of the more personal details of Battleborn life in a private medium rather than putting those details on blast during my press events, as those events are best reserved for more on topic hockey discussion. For safe keeping out of the public eye, I have elected to start recording my diary entries on my public blogspot and will continue to publish them as I feel the need to vent. This way nobody will be able to steal my physical diary and air my secrets.

Things in Nevada have been pretty tough lately. I’m trying to stay motivated but the losing has been starting to get to me. I had heard about losing from some of the s**t kids in the Burlington County farm league, but I thought they were just a buncha whiners. Let it be known, this s**t sucks. Every thing about it is terrible. The boos, the disappointed fans, the tough media questions, but I think the hardest part is the sense that I’m letting down my teammates. Zelma, Alexis, Gavin, Zoidberg, Tanjiro, Bane, Harry, Villi and Funk seem to all have hit some pretty great strides. Meanwhile, I’m struggling to hit the net at an alarming rate. While I’m happy with the steps my defensive game has taken, I’ve been having a hard time in my new perimeter shooter role. I’ve hit the net 7 times in 20 games. I’m not even pacing half of the offense the next winger on the team is generating. This is supposed to be my bread and butter. I’ve gotta get my head in the game.

It’s at least been easy to focus on my training and staying fit. Family and friends warned me to not lose sight of my goals and get distracted by the Vegas night life, but it turns out the strip is pretty f**king boring when you’re underage. I’ve spent most of my time in the gym, or just hanging at home with the boys. I’ve been tempted to try out some of the more underage friendly entertainment in town but so many of these mouthbreathers aren’t wearing masks it seems like I won’t have a chance to check them out for some time with this pandemic and all. Sometimes the local fans will bring drop brews off outside the locker room, but after mentioning my kegger in my last presser Secret Talent Agent James Bond has recommended I not talk about that in public.

Jimbo and I tried to buy fake IDs from an old bearded dude claiming to be a wizard on the strip. He said he was outta fake IDs but that he could inject Jimbo and I with an invisibility potion so we could sneak into casinos and bars undetected. We could even drink and gamble all we wanted without paying under the guise of just being a fun and free spirit. The bouncers would assume the slot machine or keg was haunted and leave it be. I thought it was a bit sketch but Jimbo paid up. Luckily because of my mom’s quick wit when choosing my middle name, I was able to remember that this was not wise and did not partake myself The guy pumped the potion into his arm but Jimbo was still visible, said it could take a couple hours to take effect but he just acted really funny for a few hours before we retired for the night.

Most of my time outside of the gym is spent chucking things at Weavs. No matter what it is or what he’s doing he always seems to catch it. Buddy was on the phone with his mom this morning whipping up the boys some pancakes. Had the mixing bowl in his glove hand, whisk in his blocker, was holding the phone between his ear and shoulder pads. Real housewife stuff. Threw a shoe at his head and the boy just dropped to his knees, caught it with his glove hand and statue of liberty’d that thing. I’m not convinced the man isn’t Trump’s secret wall. The pancake mixing bowl hit the floor with a profound thud and batter was flung every where, significantly delaying breakfast, but he just tossed the shoe back to me, apologized for the mess, wiped the batter off his pads and started prepping a new bowl. Jimbo has been giving me s**t lately for throwing things at Weaver. He's worried I'm gonna hurt the guy since he's already so worn out stopping 60 shots night after night, but I just can't stop watching the man make saves. Weaver truly is an ace tendy, and I feel... special when I watch him make saves. I haven't felt this way since I first laid eyes on Cindy Lou Who in the 2nd grade during my first ever viewing of the 2000 theatrical release of "The Grinch". Am I falling in love? I will have to explore these feelings more another time. Besides, if Weaver doesn’t wanna have random objects thrown at him he shouldn’t wear his goalie gear 24/7. He read on some news site that it would protect him from COVID, but I'm not sure they meant that kind of mask. Or that they ever mentioned the rest of his gear. Personally, I think he's a conspiracy nut. I prefer to take evidence based preventions, and as such have replaced my cereal milk with hydroxychloroquine every morning. It's been a while since Jimbo gave me s**t for chucking things at Weavs though, come to think of it I haven't seen Jimbo since the night he bought that potion from that night potion seller. Someone should check on him.

Despite all of the losing we have at least proven beyond a shadow of a doubt that we are the premiere expansion team with our dominating win over Quebec in our first clash with the Citadelle. That was a huge morale boost. And we should never forget when our 8th game of the season where we proved the Danger prophecy and once for all settled that Detroit is indeed a s**thole. It’s small silver linings like these and the active members of the team that make me excited to be Battleborn.

Throughout these hard times the boys have been helping keep me sane. Despite our shortcomings I do feel that we have a great core group of guys and I would never dream of playing anywhere else. It’s an honour to be a member of this inaugural desert dog class and I’m extremely excited to what kind of legacy we can build in our few years here. The guys I’ve name dropped are future studs in this league and I am wholly confident in their ability to develop into superstars and potentially as early as next season drag Jimbo’s sad, lifeless a** into the postseason.

Anyway, bus leaves town in about 90 minutes and I gotta get dressed and shower if I wanna throw something at Weavs and check in on Jimbo before departure. Maybe when he said he was retiring that night he meant permanently. Probably not, though. That’d be a b**ch move.

Until next time,
Chad Stranger Danger.