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*roastpuff* · 08-10-2020, 02:46 PM

SHL Enquirer Exclusive - Liljestrom Refuses to Shoot the Puck!
What's wrong with Liljestrom and his shot?

Dear SHL Enquirer readers, this season there are 240 players playing in the Simulation Hockey League. In this era where scoring is mostly up, where several teams have forgone defence in order to maximize their offence, there remains only 16 players who have not yet scored a goal after the halfway mark of games played for the league. With the trade deadline looming in the near future, should the GMs of these players be worried? Should they look to make a move, to trade for players who have a better eye for the back of the net, and can contribute to their team’s goal totals in order to win games?

One name stands out in the list of players who have not yet scored a goal so far: Magnus Liljestrom, Winnipeg’s latest first round pick. Drafted 1st overall in the S53 SHL Entry Draft, Liljestrom was touted to be the “next Adam Barron” - a great defender who has been consistently producing offense for a resurgent Winnipeg squad. Liljestrom was supposed to have been a dynamo on both sides of the ice, a do-it-all wunderkind who was to inject excitement and life into the Winnipeg Jets roster and Challenge Cup hopes. So far, all he has managed to do is to be in the right place at the right time to claim some assists after touching the puck, using his teammates to benefit his own performance.

Our sources have noted that Liljestrom seems to avoid shooting the puck at practice, preferring to pass instead, and speculated that he might be hiding his weak shot in order to avoid being embarrassed by his teammates. Might he have a muffin of a shot, one so weak a fifth-grader might beat it? Could it be that Liljestrom can’t even hit the broad side of a barn? Did Winnipeg GM Goku Muerto get bamboozled at the draft? The SHL Enquirer will keep investigating, and we will publish what we find out in our next issue!

Code:
346 words, ready for grading

charlieconway · 08-12-2020, 05:04 PM

Quote:One name stands out in the list of players who have not yet scored a goal so far: Magnus Liljestrom, Winnipeg’s latest first round pick. Drafted 1st overall in the S53 SHL Entry Draft, Liljestrom was touted to be the “next Adam Barron” - a great defender who has been consistently producing offense for a resurgent Winnipeg squad.

I thought bullying Liljestrom was bad enough, but this? Misinformation has no place in journalism, SHL Enquirer. Shame on you.

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