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The New Captain of Detroit FalCons. Zoltan Topalo!
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The New Captain of Detroit FalCons. Zoltan Topalo!
Why I deserve to be Captain of the Detroit FalCons
A list of things I Came up with
Written by Zoltan Topalo, Captain of the Detroit FalCons
(@notorioustig plz hurry make me Captain)
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Here is Reason number one why I deserve to be Captain of the Detroit Falcons. I have not played a single game for any other team in my Career (WJC / IIHF EXCLUDED). I was a prospeCt for the Detroit Falcons, and the sorting hat blessed me as suCh in making me a Detroit FalCon. Every single Goal and Assist I have tallied has been as a Detroit FalCon. I literally bleed red. If you Cut me, red blood will pour out. How dope is that? I was even proteCted by the team in the expansion draft. Not only do I see myself as Captain material, but even the GM’s and CoaChes want me to stay. 

Here is reason number two why I deserve to be Captain of the Detroit FalCons. It is my last season with the Detroit FalCons. Like I said in reason number one above (see above), I am a lifelong FalCon. Skree forever my dudes! SinCe it is my last season before I graduate and get Called up to play for the Tampa Bay BarraCuda, I think it is time that I was named Captain. I am one of the guys that helped lead the time to win the Four Star Cup in Season 53. I was there, on the team. I put some quality minutes in, and even sCored some big goals and eventually we got to hoist the Cup. Even though I was playing on the third line baCk then, I really helped. Just CheCk the numbers.

Here is reason number three why I deserve to be Captain of the Detroit FalCons. I play on the first line. I am a pretty deCent forward if I do say so myself. Zoltan plays with a lot of heart. The heart of a human Cultist, as well as the heart of a baboon. No, don’t even ask if I ate a Baboon, or stole a baboon’s heart. It's just a euphemism for how muCh I Care. I leave it all out on the iCe. ExCept for the piCkle juiCe, I drank it all. Although a baboon did smile at me at the zoo onCe, whiCh was niCe. Thanks @trella for the lovely animal seleCtion. 

Here is reason number four why I deserve to be Captain of the Detroit FalCons. I am an inCredible role model for all of the young players on the team. I am out there eaCh and every day trying to Convert the other players to the will of my lord and savior Zoltan. I am named for him, and I play for him. I do my best every day to bring as much glory to the name Zoltan as I possibly Can. I have not suCCeeded in any way shape or form but that's okay. Lord Zoltan knows I'm doing my best.  I still show the young guys what it is like to be a veteran on the iCe and also in the loCker room. I take Care to make sure that everyone is doing well and staying in shape so that they Can play their best. THis is probably the best reason I should be Captain of the Detroit FalCons. 

Here is reason number five why I deserve to be Captain of the Detroit FalCons. I Care so much about this team. Even being new to the league, I think I'm a big part of what makes the FalCons loCker room what it is. I don’t say that  to toot my own horn, or pull on anyone's leg, but I am one of the people that is there. I am not saying that people aren’t there, but I am there. I am here, but also there. I will Continue to be there (but also here), Captain or not (but please make me Captain) 

Here is reason number six why I deserve to be Captain of the Detroit FalCons. I would vote for me. Wouldn’t you vote for me? If I knew how to do a poll, I would do a poll. Doing a poll wouldn’t make me Captain. Maybe i’ll do one though, just to make sure. I am the only option, so 100% of the poll takers would vote for me. I wouldn’t even have to stuff the ballot box. This is still a demoCratiC proCess when it Comes down to it. Or maybe its not. TeChnically that would make you a Tigt-tater, whiCh is fine (and apparently now a word), because it would mean that I am the Captain now. 

Here is reason number seven why I deserve to be Captain of the Detroit FalCons. We Could really use a leader right now, and I think that I would do a fine job. You’ve seen me play the game on the iCe. You’ve seen me praCtiCe the game. You have seen me off the iCe. I have watChed Cal as Captain for a few seasons now. I think that he would gladly pass the proverbial humongous responsibility of the torCh to yours truly. Zoltan. 

Here is reason number eight why I deserve to be Captain of the Detroit FalCons. I have a hoCkey league job. I am aCtive on the site and do my weekly updates. As a Banker, I know what is going on in the league. I give money, i taketh money. If the league trusts me enough to be a banker and handle money, you should trust me enough to give me Captain. I want it. Give it to me. I have earned it. 

Here is reason number nine why I deserve to be Captain of the Detroit FalCons. As far as I know I am the only one that has filled out an appliCation thus far. At this point, all appliCations for the position are Closed. Therefore, by right of Conquest I should be awarded the position of Captain. I don't want to piCk the alternates, they Can also apply or we Can do a poll. I think Captain should be awarded to me, Zoltan, and alternates are whoever. Although if I had to piCk an alternate, it would be Thor. 

Here is reason number ten why I deserve to be Captain of the Detroit FalCons. I am one of the most underrated guys out there. I wasn’t a first or even a seCond round piCk. God i don’t even remember what piCk I was but still! I am here! I am here to stay, forever. Enshrine me as a lifelong FalCon. Let me wear the C on my Chest! I will wear it proudly, (but not as proudly as I wear my bubble wrap). Let it sink in, you won’t be making a mistake. PiCk Zoltan for Captain. Its only for one season anyways, how muCh harm Could I do? You literally have nothing to lose and everything to gain. Just do it. I want it. Give it to me. 

Your Captain of the Detroit FalCons. 
  • Zoltan Topalo. 

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#2

Yeah sure

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#3

08-10-2020, 10:46 PMRangerjase Wrote:
I am one of the most underrated guys out there. 
What does this part say? The tippy top of my Onoprienko sits juuust in front of that part of my screen.

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#4

O no

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#5

08-10-2020, 10:46 PMRangerjase Wrote:  I am one of the most underrated guys out there. 
Laughs in Onoprienko

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#6
(This post was last modified: 08-11-2020, 08:09 AM by TheSparkyDee.)

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"O Captain, My Captain" 

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Drafted 2nd round 21st Pick by the Winnipeg Jets in S55 SHL Entry Draft 
GM of the UCORCAL in the WJC S55
S55 WJC Gold Medalist GM/Player for UCORCAL
Management Role for Russia in the IIHF
Recent Management Role / Head Coach for Winnipeg Aurora in SHL 
CO-GM St. Louis Scarecrows S57-S60
GM of the St. Louis Scarecrows S61-S72
S72 Challenge Cup Champion
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#7

Zoltan is a FalConvict

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#8

08-11-2020, 09:46 AMLordBirdman Wrote: Zoltan is a FalConvict

You must be thinking of the other Zoltan who was Convcited. 

Not even related to that guy

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