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Mediocre_Fred · 09-10-2020, 06:03 PM

[x2 Draft Media 883 Words]

Draft Preview: Slava Petrov

Written by Mediocre_Fred for Fred's Fantastically Mediocre Analytics News What's this?

The Draft Preview segment aims to give important* information about players eligible for the upcoming Simulation Hockey League draft. These analyses have been rated "Top Notch" by several SHN writers and editors** The idea is to give you factual*** information to allow you to better understand these prospects. And without further ado, here is the analysis of Slava Petrov (@ckroyal92).

The writers here at FFMAN have it on good authority that Slava Petrov is, in fact, the Best Petrov. While I am not allowed to disclose the source of this information for the informant’s safety, I can tell you that they are from Nizhny Novgorod, Russia, and that they look an awful lot like Stanislav Galiev. Our experts say that if you are in the market for a Petrov, make sure to select the “Slava” trim level. Here’s why:

TPE:
Petrov: Slava edition is another high TPE earner. They are currently 4th among all season 56 draft prospects. Their user has been on the site for quite a while (four years), so you likely don’t have to worry about them starting out as a high TPE earner and then dropping off the face of the Earth only to reappear right before an expansion draft just to have them get stolen away right as they become active again like some people.

Attributes:
Before I jump into the actual number let me just say one thing: Why the heck are there so many Russians that play the off hand wing? What do they think, that they can come into our league and start bossing us around? Why should you play on your off hand? When God created hockey he said, and I quote, “Thou shalt play the winged position matching to thy own hand”. It’s in the bible, people! I can’t believe it, this is why hockey is going downhill. Back in the old days a lefty was a left winger and a righty was a right winger. Jesus would have played on the correct side.

Anyway, onto their attributes. Their offensive ratings stick out to me a little, but not in a good way. Their screening is only 5 and their offensive read is only 11? That seems pretty low for a forward, and a pretty good one at that.

Oh wait. I think I see why I’m so confused now. The team here at FFMAN was scratching our heads for a bit trying to figure how The Best Petrov was pulling their offensive weight so well with two stats that low, but we discovered what it was. Slava Petrov has TWO sets of Offensive Ratings on their player page, as seen here. I guess that’s why they call him the best, eh? So good that one set of attributes wasn’t enough to contain his greatness. So the updaters obviously had to give him a second one, right? Surely this isn’t some sort of blunder. If it is a blunder, then boy is it an embarrassing one!

Okay, so the Best Petrov’s offensive ratings are actually good. Screening is 9, not 5, and offensive read is 13, not 11. Like with some of the other top prospects we’ve analyzed, the Slava trim of Petrov has put up an impressive 18 points in their first season with a +/- of 8. Slava looks pretty good on the defensive side of things, too. Very impressive stats in Defensive Read, Checking, and positioning. A solid foundation to build on for the future. Something to take note of, GMs.

Season Stats:
And finally we will take a look at some of the stats for the Best Petrov’s first season in the SMJHL. Like Io mentioned before, a very impressive 18 points in their first season. Just for comparison, our very favorite player, Frederick Wanesly, scored only 14 in his first season. 14 is the number of assists Slava had this season. One of our favorite stats to look at here at FFMAN is the penalty minutes and boy does the Best Petrov really prove themselves here. Zero! Zero penalty minutes the whole season! What a level headed Russian.

In conclusion, we think that of all of the Petrovs we’ve looked at so far, this is the best one. Remember GMs (if any are still reading at this point), when you go to your local hockey player dealership to get a brand new Petrov, make sure you are getting the best one. The salesperson is going to try to sell you one of the higher end trims like the Teylora edition with its moon roof and beefier suspension, or the Vladmir trim level with the rear view camera and the fancier sound system. But you don’t need those. The Slava trim level comes with the towing package and the heated seats and that’s all you really need. More bang for your buck, as they say. Don’t fall for the marketing scams of those pushy salespeople!

And now, where does the top secret Advanced Draft Pick Calculator (patent pending) place Slava Petrov in the draft?
5th!

*Important is subjective. Your opinion may be different
**No one from the SHN has actually said anything like that about my works
***Some of this information is not factual

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