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Bud Weisers x2 Do Not Draft Profile
#1

Bud Weiser is not person you should draft today. Below are several reasons you should let me remain undrafted in today’s SHL draft. Additionally, Bud expect to go top five (too drunk) and threatened to go sober again if not (last time did not end well for the Scarecrows).


10. He drinks his own urine
Bud Weiser was told at an early age that urine is sterile and will sterilize you immune system. This may be the cause of his rotting digestive system. The beer, whiskey, and vodka does not help but soothes his soul and makes him forget.

9. The Rona
With number 10, it has weakened his immune system and he does not consult with medical experts as he does not believe the conspiracy theory. Bud has been infected not thirty times in the past year and has not shared this information with Scarecrow management or anyone.

8. Bud likes physicality, but could kill him
Bud enjoys laying the lumber; however, he has brittle bone disease and could have immediate effects. Just imagine Bud going strong into the corner trying to make a hit and collapsing in half after missing (due to bad footwork) and snapping in half. Doctors have told Bud he cannot play hockey due to this disease, but again the alcohol wins out in decision making.

7. He is scared of water
Bud is terrified of ruining his buzz and actually having feelings so he does not even drink water. He will absolutely not go within fifty yards of any body of water. This make team building events tough to plan; however, you get him drunk enough and you can convince him that water is vodka.

6. He can’t math
With the heavy drinking, Bud has the brain capacity of a toddler. This does not allow him to perform basic life functions such as performing basic addition and subtraction. But, one thing Bud can do is dissect a hockey play one milliseconds with the intention of killing someone. You put him on the football field and he is clueless. Hockey and drinking is life.

5. He takes Germany too seriously
He takes his german heritage to heart. Ask Bud what his favorite things in life are, and you will hear Octoberfest, Beer, Brats/Schnitzels, and lederhosen. No one knows where his love of hockey came from but his favorite player ever is Marcel Goc with Daddy Drais closing the gap.


4. He is a disgusting human being
You ask him what he likes outside of hockey and Germany, and you should expect to hear #EverydayIsForTheBoys, sloots, beer, whiskey, and vodka. He shows that actions mean the same as words (his brain function is a toddler and cannot remember basic sayings).

3. He has at least five strays
Bud actually has a soft spot for dog’s; however, this a an issue. He goes through dogs faster than his female companions. He will find one on the street to bring home and then forget it with his fifth drink (7am).
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2. He’s a true son of a bitch.
His only charity event was a day in his life. Twenty people ended up in the hospital with alcohol poising. When asked about his thoughts and responsibility, Bud called all of them little bitches who need to learn how to drink. Bud stated he has not been sober since third grade and “regurts” nothing (again alcohol made him dumb)

1. He doesn’t shower after practices/games.
“What in the fuck is a shower,” Bud said. “That has water right?” (see # 7). Bud does not do water, as he said, and truly believes the alcohol will clean him. It may clean his insides; however, he does not know about alcohol seeping through your pores, his rotting teeth from drinking urine, or his member which is surprisingly not rotting from the frequent miles put on it with many females.


Bud’s youth coach stated, I would not take that POS if I had to and te world would be better without him. That enough should be plenty of reasons not to take him in today’s S56 SHL Draft.

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#2

On behalf of everyone subscribed to Player Progression, thank you for the senseless alert.

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Bojo Box (C. Knouse)


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#3

lmfao i was so confused by the RSS ping

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#4

stiff copy

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#5

@budweiser This post was moved to media. DO NOT POST in SHL Player Progression.

Thanks

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#6

09-12-2020, 01:11 PMSDCore Wrote: @budweiser This post was moved to media. DO NOT POST in SHL Player Progression.

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More HO abuse of power smfh

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#7

Edmonton has great luck picking people who don't want to be drafted. Do it @Keygan

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EDM All-Time Leader in Goals, Assists and Points
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#8

09-12-2020, 01:11 PMSDCore Wrote: @budweiser This post was moved to media. DO NOT POST in SHL Player Progression.

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ngl tho, with the huge amount of RSS feed on the forum, i guess its an amazing way to get your post seen lol

ty for moving it away

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#9

09-12-2020, 01:13 PMEvok Wrote:
09-12-2020, 01:11 PMSDCore Wrote: @budweiser This post was moved to media. DO NOT POST in SHL Player Progression.

Thanks

ngl tho, with the huge amount of RSS feed on the forum, i guess its an amazing way to get your post seen lol

ty for moving it away

Lol right, big brained move. ngl

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#10

09-12-2020, 01:11 PMSDCore Wrote: @budweiser This post was moved to media. DO NOT POST in SHL Player Progression.

Thanks

Kill him, sd

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Fuck the penaltys
ARGARGARHARG
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#11

glad corey can take time away from burning down the league to silence the voice of bud weiser

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#12

09-12-2020, 01:11 PMJumpierPegasus Wrote: lmfao i was so confused by the RSS ping
Me too rofl

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#13

Just another reason to not draft Bud......My bad, not sure why I even posted it there, but thanks for moving it.

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