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me rambling for money - thx Zoone
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Code:
2x Media, WC: 2756


So it's 2x media week and Zoone is the media head and I've noticed my articles have been making slightly less money over the 2? or 3 seasons since he has been head, but that's not what we are going to be focusing on today! No we are going to be discussing (read: rambling) about the draft because that is SHL related and that is where I am going to make my money. Note: this article is not a part of the CHN (and if you don't know what that means, well then stay tuned for my next article, one that I have been working on for a quite a while. It is going to be quite controversial and if you have been keeping up with my media pieces in the past, well then you might have an idea of what it is going to touch upon (p.p.s. Zoone I know you are reading this because you read all media pieces, I legitimately have spent hours on that article, and I will be gutted if you determine it to not be SHL related and shaft me out of that money)).

So enough about Zoone, let's touch upon the SHL Entry Draft of S56. I have to say, they are much longer than I remember. After about an hour in I was still surprised it was still going on and I think at that point it was only the end of the second round? Shoutout to Stammer for hooking us all up with his mock 4 minutes before the post locked and 1 minute before the site crashed. Regardless, hotdog extended the deadline for a few minutes like he always does and I managed to secure myself 13 correct? maybe 11, can't remember off the top of my head and I can't be bothered to double check. Also stammer if you are reading this hotdog and the entire PT team hate you because you messed up the logos on your mock that we all copied and it is going to be extra annoying to grade. 

I'll touch a little bit on Hamilton, but like always most likely, depending on how much juice I have once I'm done with this section, and also depending on how many words it gets me, I might also touch on the New England draft. One because I have spent so much time with that organization (8 seasons played with them, 9 since being drafted (37th overall, I'm the best 37th overall draft pick ever, read my other media about that)) and two, because they have more draft picks than HAM because they are rebuilding/re-tooling? whatever you want to believe, and because Hallsy and Gabe just trade all their picks away because they are too lazy to actually scout players and just finesse prospects from other teams.

So the first round, went pretty well for Hamilton but it wasn't what they, nor everyone else in the league was expecting. Reports came out that Toronto was interested in drafting JSS 2nd overall, but nobody believed that because it was obviously cap (they were clearly memeing) but I'm not too sure what happened, the joke kept going and then people started to realize that they were actually going to draft him there. I do believe it's a good pick for Toronto, JSS is quite the character guy and I did enjoy my time with him in Hamilton (somehow), but he was also clearly the pick that Hamilton wanted to take. Hamilton made a trade the day before the draft to go from the 4th OA pick they got trading my homie glutes to ATL and sent that off to NEW in exchange for 10 OA and their own first next year (which they used to offer sheet Bork from NOLA). 

Ok, so we're a few picks in, JSS has already been taken, Hamilton is clearly going to try and take JP (known locker room racist). But no, much to not the surprise of our mocks, we in Hamilton knew it was going to happen, and Stammers mock agreed, he was taken by the Pride (who then also later drafted JRuutu...). No worries tho, we drafted Sarah a great defensive prospect (and hopefully she is not offended by this media piece that I'm about to drop (Zoone for real I should get 10-15 mil, so many hours have been put into it so far and I'm still not done, compared to this one where I've currently written 750 words in 10 minutes)). Also gooney accidentally told Sarah to kill herself (typo) within minutes of her joining the server (funniest thing I've seen in a while). And so yeah, that is the only pick we made this draft. We traded the second to Buffalo for something, idk I'm not in management.

The Hamilton offseason so far has been lit tho. As I mentioned earlier we were forced to part ways with Guy Zheng as he is now the co-GM of Atlanta, and in the return @hotdog retained salary on the fake JSS we got back (lol loser, love him tho), giving us much needed cap space. In the trade for 10 OA, we got our own first back which was then used to offer sheet Bork, which he signed and NOLA did not match (isn't it interesting how both offer sheets ever in the site were done by Hamilton). The offer sheet was crazy too because the compensation that NOLA will get back is at worst 15th OA and you would be lucky to find a player of his quality in that range. A few days before the draft we traded 2 seconds for the other Bork who we desperately needed as a roster player to fill the voids that Tig, glutes, and SixNine left us. And today we also signed premier forward Morgan (1850~ TPE before the season starts) for two seasons and I will very much enjoy playing on a line with him. We aren't done yet though. We still have to sign Nour, despite every team in the league trying to steal him from us and we do still have a trade or two up our sleeves as well as potentially another FA signing to really push us over the top. Despite being extremely worried last week as we lost 3 D-men, not only is our roster looking to be better than last season, we also will have a much better prospect pool. Hallsy truly is a cap space wizard.

Now here is the place where I have to think about my decision. I'm already over 1100 words which is an easy 2.2 mil. Legit only took me 30 mins to write this and I was barely paying attention (but Zoone I've paid a LOT of attention for my next article, keep that in mind pls) so do I keep going and write about New England for that extra cash or nah? I think I will but I will need a quick break and so this article is getting saved as a draft and hotdog as my only tag will get a ghost ping lol.

Jokes, we also drafted Samee in the fourth round. Hope he doesn't mind that I forgot about him. Also I hope he stays active for more than one season, but I won't count on it.

Ok so 5 minutes later, we are back at it. I am currently watching the Try Guys wear women's leggings for a day in case you want to peer into my mind as I write this. First things first. New England has gone through a LOT of changes during the past few weeks. Hotdog wrote a 20 page app and was the easy choice for expansion GM, so they were down to Ace, who picked Kenvald as the new co. Maybe a week, maybe a few days after that Ace was unfortunately fired for double trading a pick whilst on probation. Still think that ones on HO, what's the point of having an inaccurate pick tracker, and then what is also the point of having HO review every trade if it still gets through. HO is full of clowns, that's why. Nothing will change my mind and I know Tig agrees with me on that one. (For a different reason (no HTDs) but still). So New England is GM-less for a hot minute, but Ken gets the legit job and selects big time New Englander Slap Mcshotty aka yogurt loaf to be his co. So things are back to normal for the time being. All the boys are still in the LR ofc, no bad blood between anyone. Zema (a first rounder from last season appears to have some managerial duties, good on him, I could never want to put in that much effort for a sim league, but I'm also spending my Sunday writing media about nothing, and ofc spending the past week+ on my next media piece (ZOONE) so I can't really hate/say anything about that.

The draft as a whole went very well for them. They had 6 specific players that they were targeting and they say they got 4 of them and I do believe them. First up, 4 OA, the pick that we (HAM) traded them the day before, that I have already touched upon twice in this one article and I not going to go into details about again. They picked Calvin Hobbes, sick name, love to see it. Spoken with him briefly in the LR and he looks to be a great pick for them. They pick again, they also had 5th OA, got it from Seattle for something, idk what and I'm not going to look into it. Just kidding I remember. Ken Traded 2 firsts and a third for it. With this one they got Grandmaster Funk. If I'm being frank and you know that I am, this name is even better than the last one. He's got a hot pink name in the LR, used to work as a butcher, handles complaints about tv personalities, very interesting stuff. No clue what his position is, but don't worry, this is still draft related regardless of how much I actually know about the players.

New England re-tooled hard. This is the second season in a row that they have 3 first rounds picks in the first round (don't know why I repeated first round, I think it was pretty clear what first rounders are). They can thank me and glutes for some of those picks (4 firsts in fact). And with the 3rd first round pick, they selected Teylora Petrov. Can't say for sure that I have spoken with this user. Very possible that their discord name is their username rather than player name and considering I don't know what their username is, I don't know who they are. Moving on to the second round, they made one selection, a player by the name of Alexis Vermette, again this is where my lack of knowledge drops hard. Because with HAM I at least knew of the intricacies of the moves they made (which picks went where, people we signed in FA, or offer sheeted). With New England, I'm not a team member any more and so I just don't know what I am writing about and by saying that (in case it wasn't clear after the first sentence) I am exposing myself for just doing this for the cold hard cash.

Regardless of me not knowing what I am talking about, I'm still grinding hard. We're almost at the 2k mark but I'm not done yet. New England still has two picks left for me to discuss and one of them I have a lot to say about. The penultimate (big word for such trash media huh?) pick made by New England was in the third round, 45th overall: Mikhael Petrov (feels like I'm using punctuation incorrectly). Again don't know anything about this player.

Ok so I took another break for dinner and you might be thinking, aww poor hotdog he keeps getting ghost pings every time 5ym saves the draft. No. It was a strategic play by me to punish hotdog for taking my friend away from me.

Finally, the last pick by New England: GordieBoom. I joined this site the day after the SMJHL draft late December 2018. My friend glutes was telling me about it and he told me to wait to join so I could be signed on to whatever team drafted him (Kelowna Knights). Back then I had so much energy, cared so much, we made a semi-regular podcast before the podcasting scene blew up on this site, and we like to think of ourselves (well, maybe just me) as pioneers. New England had just blown up as Ace became GM (again) and there was a lot of controversy surrounding this move. Before the S46 draft they had something like 3 firsts and two thirds and were looking for quite a haul. Of the four of us drafted (me, glutes, flareon), Gordieboom was the first. If I recall correctly he was 8th overall (not going to actually double check, because it is not at all an important detail to the story, but in my heart I know its 8th OA). We WERE New England. At that time, the LR was dead. Absolutely dead. The team had some actives still (Raven, Mav, AW) but the discord LR was a ghost town. Nobody would say anything and for the first season after we were drafted we didn't say anything either. But after S47 (another big draft for NEW), hotdog came in, and the Y-man, and McShotty, and nobody can forget PB (aka Kielbasa Kock, aka Pussy Blaster) and we completely took over. That locker room was ours. Despite so few of us being on the team (pretty sure it was just me, glutes, and PB) we ran the LR. We made so many jokes and had so much fun, and we completely changed the atmosphere of how it first was when we joined, only 2 months earlier. Every day, around midnight PST, gordie would wake up and say "Good Morning!" (his time zone was ahead). Every day without fail. Unfortunately, after some drama with the awards committee, gordie was done and he said he wouldn't return. McShotty built us gordiebot so we could still get that good morning! every day, but it just wasn't the same. Slowly and surely the bot got built bigger and bigger with more and more inside jokes and commands that (in my opinion) it lost it's appeal and wasn't really GORDIEbot, it was just another bot.

When gordie announced he was coming back, I was hyped. He was such a strong user back then. He was on pace to not only hit 2k like me and glutes, but hit an even higher peak. His bank account was huge and he was responsible for so much media on the site. He really knew what he was doing. Despite having retired in Texas? it was meant to be for him to be picked up by New England again. There is just no other team for him to be on. I was surprised that he was picked so low. (I'm not anymore, having looked at the Player Analyze tool) But I do believe he will be a great pick for New England, and he will definitely be the steal of the draft. But if not, at least he stole our hearts.

And there you have it. Took me somewhere between an hour and 1.25 hours to write this (interesting choice for me to write out the word and then immediately switch to the numbers but whatever), and it's like 2700 words so easy 5.5 mil. Sets me up for the season nicely. Already copped equipment (coaching) so we're set.

Just one last note. I read some of hotdogs media on ISFL and their draft media bonus is only 1.5x? wtf. Zoone pls don't be getting any ideas.

FIN

also i actually proofread this lol

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Thanks to JSS for the signature


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#2

might have to make the strategic switch to only writing SMJHL media so Zoone can't hurt me anymore

[Image: j2h9XpS.png]
Thanks to JSS for the signature


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#3

09-13-2020, 11:31 PM5ympathies Wrote: might have to make the strategic switch to only writing SMJHL media so Zoone can't hurt me anymore

Deep down inside, you're only hurting yourself. <3

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