Mat Smith was very surprised when he turned on his phone and he had a text message, a missed call, a voicemail, and DMs on Facebook, Twitter, Instagram, Snapchat, Tinder, and even Myspace. Before he got too excited, he saw that they weren't from anyone he knew, no, to his surprise they were all from the same company. How did they get all his contact information, he had no idea, but it kind of makes sense. He opened up the first message, and here's what it read:
"Hi Mr. Smith, this is Jeff Bezos, yes THE Jeff Bezos. I wanted to contact you to let you know that I've been following your career very closely since you were drafted by the Quebec City Citadelles. You see, I was thinking I don't like the name "Amazon" anymore, it's kinda too rainforest firey for my tastes. I think you would be the perfect name and face for a rebrand, we were thinking of calling it "Mat Smith's big shippy shippy worldwide web store." I'm prepared to offer you $100 million to accept this deal, and we can negotiate for more if need be. Let me know. Love you. Jeff (followed by a few emojis that we will be censoring here)"
Smith considered this offer, but after five minutes of thinking too hard he got a headache and decided to take a nap. After he woke up he didn't remember it at all and so he just left Jeff Bezos on read.