Gabe Johnson is not a man who turns down a good sponsorship. In fact, he's not a man who turns down a bad one either. He just really needs as much money as he can get because who knows how much longer he can get away with stealing a living playing hockey.

Anyway, for his sponsorship Gabe Johnson paired with young ISFL starlet Garfield Despacito Jr. of the Orange County Otters, as they're both under contract with the same agency. The subscription service was monthly themed apparel of both players with phrases making fun of the players due to their status as jokes across their respective leagues. The shirts are to include things such as "Gabe Johnson scored fewer goals than Simon LeBlanc" ( @Briedaqueduc ) and "Holloway > Despacito" ( @Paq ).

Both players were stunned by the overwhelming success of the service, because it just sounded like an idea doomed to fail that would get no subscriptions, but Johnson has once again discovered the general dislike of him to be even more popular than he thought it to be.

Johnson has called this his "worst sponsorship since the one I took from Viagra" but conceded that at least he got paid.

(Idk like 190 words)