[Name Redacted] would have a subscription service for masks, hand sanitizer, and other PPE shipped right to your home. People still remember when early this year [Name Redacted] took the world by storm, and name recognition is still very high. What better spokesperson for a PPE subscription service than the man who caused all the fright in the first place?

Products in the case include the aforementioned masks and hand sanitizer, but also Lysol wipes and antibacterial soap. In addition, each month one lucky member will receive a toilet paper hoard so big it will fill your garage. Don’t have a garage? Better start looking for a place to store all this TP. Maybe you can sell it on ebay or amazon or something? I’m sure that won’t cause any red flags or anything.

Finally, every shipment comes with an autographed Vancouver Whalers Name Redacted rookie card, autographed with the words “Mask up!”