After just three short seasons in Carolina, it’s apparently time to move up in the world. With the defensive landscape the way it is across the SHL, teams are struggling to find bottom pairing d-men, thus necessitating the early call-ups of myself, and former d-partner Conner Hutton. It’s… weird. I was thinking, maybe another season from now I’d be paying my respects and be looking back upon a career well-served with Carolina. It’s something Overdoo and I discussed at length. We’d both go 4 seasons--right up until waivers--and stay down with Carolina the whole way. We’d even let management know we’d be open to a deadline deal of ourselves if it made the team better. But we never got there. All of that looking ahead and we both ended up on top of the line SHL teams looking to be competitive, and both needing d-men in the near future to do so despite a lack of developed D prospects. That’s where we are now. Carolina’s top 2 picks for the S55 draft gone after a combined 5 seasons, and there’s a lot to look back on and be thankful for.
Something I have obsessed myself with ever since ‘returning’ to Carolina is the superstition surrounding that decision. For the vast majority that don’t know, Axel Foley is my second player. My first player, Veikka Toivanen, never reached the SHL to play for Seattle, played in Montreal for Keygan, and was later traded to Colorado. It’s not overly surprising to have that career path out of a player who was taken in the 4th round but it was still disappointing to me, and while I could talk about that disappointment for a long time coming, I don’t think it’s necessary here. Instead, the idea of “invisible strings” tying me to Carolina, as well as Edmonton now.
Of the things I noted, the two J teams I used to play for are important. Montreal and Colorado--though Montreal is now Carolina. I’d have to call back to S53, right at the deadline on 4-20 when I recreated to get the full scope here. I received two offers for a DFA contract, you guessed it, Colorado and Carolina. It was a whole, hard situation for me to have to pick between two teams, especially since I didn’t want to disappoint one team or the other, but when I heard that Colorado had a backup plan and Carolina didn’t, I had to go with the latter for the signing. It’s kind of funny, actually. I went for a walk thinking I’d come back and sign with Colorado but instead I saw an offer from Fuzz, and right above it was a message I was going to be kicked from the Montreal discord as part of his revamping of the LR culture in Montreal. Those will forever be his first words to me:
“You are receiving this message because you have been purged from the Montreal locker room.”
Well, one of us is captain and the other’s barely cracking .500 south of the border. How’s that for a purge?
Returning to Carolina just felt right. I get in and the culture is just what you’d want in a return to the league. It was a team on the up, looking to make a surprise trip to the playoffs amid a tough season with mostly sophomore players aside from Eller, Wagner, and Cuddles (iirc). We made it, and despite getting swept by Detroit, the locker room was my best site-related interaction, well, ever. I knew I wanted to be back there for the draft, and thankfully there wasn’t a lot of interest in a recreate of a player who didn’t last a month. I believe only Maine reached out to me ahead of the draft… so yeah, I was confident I was coming back to Carolina. Re-entering the draft and having my Team Specific LR privileges taken away was stressful to say the least, and knowing there was no way I’d go as high as 4th overall, left me under the impression I was destined to be elsewhere. Carolina then traded down to 10th and that’s where all my attention was. Fuck, 4th overall? Too much for me. But 10th? Oh baby, I had all the makings of the last pick of the first round. I’m not sure what those makings are but by god I had ‘em. And, god bless Carolina, they managed to pick me up at 10th. I’d say it’s been good value since then, maybe if I had stayed longer it would be even better, but Overdoo did me a solid and made it so I wouldn’t be the one who ditched the team first by leaving after just 2 seasons.
Then came my first ‘full’ season in Carolina, and shit was it amazing. A solid rookie campaign with 15 points playing behind a solid d-core, which only got better with Sven Yxskaft’s arrival, which was supplemented by the addition of Stan Hanson from Anchorage (two New England boys, who’d’ve thought). The atmosphere of that team was fantastic. I remember the night we ran Jackbox for a hours and ended up on the Joke Ship, where we had 20 jokes in a row where the punchline was “Wagner misses on a breakaway.” It got to the point I was considering writing up an apology to 7 because I felt so bad about how much we just ripped into him. That, alongside the magical playoff run stood out to me. After finishing behind only Newfoundland in the east, we considered it our year to go ahead and win it all. Of course, we didn’t say that, Fuzz and 7 had to remind us that if we got cocky and called for even an extra win before it happened, the hockey gods would smite us. We could be ip 5-0 with 2 minutes left in the third and they'd be telling us "anything can happen." Thank god they did. It kept us firmly in control of our emotions after a loss. It’s so much easier to keep it light in the locker room when you weren’t calling to be champions after 2 games. Then we realized we HAD to win this year. All because of #Cups4Eller. Not only would Yxskaft and Hanson be going up after this year, but our rock, our stud brick wall, Frans Eller was going to New England after this season. Now, we had to win. I’ll spare you the details of Wagner scoring his first career breakaway goal at the clutchest of times, or how unbelievably clutch Stein Nilsen is, but lo and behold we fucking won the cup. We defeated Anaheim in 6 and it was off to the races. After the ship was back home, the team was in voice chat singing all night long. I wasn’t, I was drinking palm bays and smirnoffs, but the celebrations weren’t just a one time thing. Instead of having the bitter moment of losing Eller, it was a bittersweet send-off to one of the game's top prospects to leave with a cup.
I wanted the same, winning as a rookie is a highlight of my career thus far, but god does it hurts that these last two seasons have gone down in game 7's to the eventual cup winners. We were so close. And now, after being named captain just one and a half months ago, I’m out the door. Not with another cup for the young Kraken core to carry forward, but with the taste of defeat. It just… hurts to not be able to leave a better legacy. To be captain for so short and have to leave… well, as I said earlier. The last thing I ever want to do was to disappoint and it’s hard to argue I was better than those before me. It felt that being an underdog that took out Vancouver and to win it all in the end would be a perfect sendoff after knowing I’d be gone after this season. Not just for me, but for Panico, Friedland, and Viticek. It feels like the only way to make up for essentially having a month of captaincy would be to go and contribute, but instead there’s 0 goals, 7 assists and a hefty minus for myself. The rest of the team found their clutch moments but I just… didn’t.
But that doesn’t take away from the season the team had as a whole. All throughout the season we saw players step up in big ways. Kai Ichinose, Ashy Larry, and Unger Oda were big parts of boosting the teams status, playing 19 minutes a night as uDFA rookies this season. The same can be said for Luukas Lilja who joined shortly after the season started and has become a great part of the locker room. It can also be said for draftees, Freyja Hellstrom and Kyle Murray who have stepped into the limelight, Murray with his gritty play, Hellstrom with goal scoring prowess. It goes without saying that, once again, all of our rookies have contributed to the locker room in big ways, with their knowledge and interests outside of hockey. Shoutout to Gumba for not only captaining Canada to WJC gold despite joining the league very recently, but also starting a podcast to discuss the league. I could go through this for every member of the Kraken, the alumni, the management, my fellow captains, everyone in that locker room.
I feel I’ve rambled on with my thoughts long enough. I don’t enjoy writing this but I also don’t want to stop. In a way I feel hitting ‘post’ will take away my time as a Kraken and I just want to keep reminiscing on the times we’ve had. I just want to keep looking back at all the tiny coincidences that make me feel special to be in Carolina, but that isn’t realistic. It’s impossible not to disappoint someone along the way, and I’m sorry to Sve7en, Overdoo, and the rest of the team I’m leaving so soon. But just like when I first signed with Carolina what feels like a decade ago, you guys have so many fantastic people and players behind me that can do everything I could and more. This isn’t a goodbye, I know for a fact I’ll be in Carolina every day, but I think it’s right to at least look back on the people that have got me here, and the good times that came along. I can’t do everyone I appreciate the justice they deserve, but I hope this matches the idea I live by, and is "just good enough." I also just want to specifically name @FuzzSHL, @overdoo, @sve7en as not just management along the way, but friends who've helped me to succeed on my second run through the SHL. I also want to say I could've have done it without @Segi. If there's anyone lost for what to do while for some reason reading a goodbye message to a team you might not be on, this Segi is fantastic. I came in with so many questions to try and get back into the league and he not only answered them, but put in genuine work to understand where I was coming from and what I was asking about. The role of mentor often goes unappreciated, but I feel I'm a testament that just asking for help will take you a long way, and having the right people to ask help from is a big part of that. I want to thank more people, but I'm a man who rambles on for hours trying to be succint.
Now it's time to eat ass in Edmonton and start the next chapter.
Not many people have been able to come in and immediately make as big of an impact on the locker room as you did. I also didn’t think I’d be going to sleep teary eyed, but here we are.
What the fuck man, I literally just woke up and I'm sobbing now.
This piece means so much to me with what I want Carolina to be and why I didn't apply for the LA position. It didn't go as planned with you and overdoo, but that was all pre expansion plans. You guys were everything we could have imagined that turning into and I'm so glad you're sticking around on the management side and joining the ISFL with us. Just don't be too heartbroken to lose in the playoffs to Fuzz, TDZ, and I every season now.
God damn it Smatt I was not expecting a part about me and now I'm fucking crying. but honestly Thank you for being such a great mentor and such a great person to be around in the Lr.
11-14-2020, 04:05 AMoverdoo Wrote: Hey you listen here, we've talked about emotions and how you shouldn't make me emotional, and here you are doing this. You bastard.
But there are good times ahead for us in Carolina. Along with 7. Just not for Wagner, Hutton, and Foley. But we don't need them.
The scouting y'all have done is paying off big time with all of these great players coming in, primed to make an impact. Sucks to not be around for the dominance of Wolfe, Kozlov, RART, and Groot as the old-core in their prime, but it sure will rock seeing them dominate.
11-14-2020, 07:54 AMsve7en Wrote: What the fuck man, I literally just woke up and I'm sobbing now.
This piece means so much to me with what I want Carolina to be and why I didn't apply for the LA position. It didn't go as planned with you and overdoo, but that was all pre expansion plans. You guys were everything we could have imagined that turning into and I'm so glad you're sticking around on the management side and joining the ISFL with us. Just don't be too heartbroken to lose in the playoffs to Fuzz, TDZ, and I every season now.
<3
1. Y'all have to make the playoffs to make the claim.
2. I can cheat offensively 7 days a week and twice on Sunday knowing the worst thing that can happen is a Wagner breakaway when you're on the ice
3. Panthers die in blizzards, but panthers can't eat blizzards back. Ez dubs
Fr, I'm so glad I got to come to Carolina and to get to know you guys. I said it to Fuzz separately, but I can't envision a way I succeed here without your guys' influence. Not being on the same SHL team sucks, but we always have that championship to look back on fondly. I'd say we also have Among Us nights to like but they're kind of scaring me, not gonna lie
<3
11-14-2020, 04:06 AMFlappyGiraffe Wrote: I wish you luck in the SHL! Has been awesome being teammates with you the past few months
It's bomb af to have a potential hall of famer in the LR and you've lived up to that billing in every way possible. A well-deserved, well-earned draft spot last season
11-14-2020, 04:06 AMslothfacekilla Wrote: This is incredibly well written. I appreciate all you’ve done for Carolina my friend <3
Luv you too, management buddy <3
11-14-2020, 09:48 AMAce Wrote: It was a pleasure playing with you.
God bless you for covering for all of my S54 mistakes and pulling us to that cup win. Sad it could've have been one more season, or a career elsewhere, but the time with you on the same team were a real pleasure, and I'm always happy to see you pop back into Carolina to talk.
11-14-2020, 11:12 AMACapitalChicago Wrote: Proud of you and what you've accomplished, good luck in the future!!
It sucks to say but the west do finna by running through Edmonton now that I'm up. Jokes aside, I'm not prepared for the stress from all of the playoff series we're primed to have against each other now.
11-14-2020, 01:32 PMTheDangaZone Wrote: You've been amazing in Carolina and can't wait to see what you can do in Edmonton. Best of luck.
11-14-2020, 02:14 PMcanes2112 Wrote: Good luck in Edmonton!
Big thanks to both of you, despite what I said to 7 it's going to be tough to be running up against you guys for the next decade of SHL in LA, but I'm also ready for that friendly competition. If LA and EDM face off for a playoff series I promise to make Carolina a blood bath <3
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