It is amazing to think that this is already the third edition of this prestigious award for the best name in the draft.  The Season 57 SHL entry draft is in the books so it is now time to take a look at how creative the new players were in their names.  Last year's winner, Unga Bunga Lemme Smash set the bar pretty high so I hope there are some good ones out there.  As always, this is meant to be for fun, not mean spirited.  If you are offended by what is said here, please kindly submit a complain in the nearest trash can and it will be reviewed seriously.  Fingers crossed that we will not see fifty guys named Petrov like last year.  Without further ado, let us get into the names.

Round 1:


1 .   New England Wolfpack - Jonathan Granström - Halkohol - The number one pick in the draft but he would not be the number one pick for names.  It is ok, but nothing flashy or special.
2 .  Minnesota Monarchs - Arsene Leclerc - spooked - Arsene Leclerc is going to get a huge bump if they named him after the great Charl Leclerc, driver of the number 16 car for Scuderia Ferrari in F1.  If it was just coincidence then I am not as impressed.  I will chose to believe that was his intention though so major props for that.
3 .  Los Angeles Panthers - Sean Gatez - SewingWithNancy - You know you are cool if your add a z to the end of a name rather than an s.  In this case Sean chose to do just that.  Maybe he's trying to insinuate that he has money like Bill Gates but in rapper form.  I am not sure.
4 .  New Orleans Specters - Vlastislav Malik - Leafs1997 - I am just going to focus on that first name which is awesome in my opinion.  Always like to see two consonants to start a name.  Vlasti has a nice ring to it for a nick name too.
5 .  Winnipeg Jets - Dwayne Gretzky - 3lewsers - No, he is not the great one, it is his nephew Dwayne though so hopefully he is talented.  I am not going to say this is the most creative name but who doesn't like Gretzky.  
6 .  Winnipeg Jets - Freyja Hellstrom - Calliope - Freyja Hellstrom has a nice ring to it.  I have to say that I like this name and it would be an early contender for the name of the draft.  I am sure we will see some great ones though so this may not be quite good enough to take the crown.
7 .  San Francisco Pride - Ruggs McOooh - Ruggsy - Ruggsy has a winner here with his Ruggs McOooh.  Word is he legally changed his name after so many women made that sound when he came around.  I can not say for sure if this is true but what I can say is, I like the name.
8 .  Los Angeles Panthers - Jari Heikkinen - Allegiant - A very hockey sounding name, he's probably blonde, six foot four and speaks a language that sounds very funny.
9 .   New England Wolfpack - Brennan Huff - Jayrome - Not my favorite, just kind of blah.
10 .  New England Wolfpack - Jon St. Ark - Arkz  - Jon St. Ark was considered by many to be the top player in the draft so to see him go so far down the board is a bit surprising.  From a name perspective, there seems to be a lot of St. whatevers out there but this kid should be a good player.
11 .  Atlanta Inferno - Pablo Salvatici - Jepox - I am not sure what is going on here.  Italian sounding last name but a spanish sounding first name.  He has got me confused.
12 .  New Orleans Specters - Cian McFelter - Titan - Cian sounds very Irish so hopefully this kid will be good so he can join our IIHF team soon.
13 .  Manhattan Rage - Matty Sandeen - TheBigSandeenie - I think I like this guys user name better than his player name.  Sounds like the Big Sandeenie will be the name I choose to call this guy.
14 .  Calgary Dragons - Luukas Lilja - Retuperkele  - Classic double u usage on this name.  Strong play, well done.
15 .  Edmonton Blizzard - Rude Sniff - Dude - I believe the next two names in the draft may be the top contenders.  Rude Sniff with a user name of Dude, does it get much better than that.  I can't tell if he has gas and smells bad which is why he is so rude or if he sniffs menacingly at his opponents but either way, it is a great name.
16 .  New Orleans Specters - Bas O'Bigber - Sopath  - I am automatically going to like any name including Bas.  Reminds me of the legendary Bas Rutten of Pancrase and UFC fame.  I doubt that was what he was going for here but if he was, hands down respect.
17 .  Buffalo Stampede - Anton Mihailov - Mr. Finland - a guy named Mr. Finland naming his player Mihailov doesn't seem to jive but who am I to judge.
18 .  New Orleans Specters - Robert Feltersnatch - Roamus - There has been lingering questions surround Robert from some unresolved sexual assault cases.  He claims he didn't but she said Robert felt her snatch.  I don't know who to believe any more.

Round 2:

19 .  San Francisco Pride - Jarmo Kekalainen - TheFlash - Jarmo is an interesting name.  Must be European.
20 .  Seattle Argonauts - Yanno Rosejac - Demolish - Yanno and Jarmo, quite a back to back paing here.  Other than that, not much to see here.
21 .  New Orleans Specters - Farley Hank - Beebob  - this isn't fair to Farley, not at all, but I just hate seeing this name here.  The only reason why is in PBE, it seemed like every damn pack of baseball cards I got had a Farley Hank card in it.  Seriously so many damn duplicates.  Again, not fair that your name is tainted like that but it had to be said.
22 .  New Orleans Specters - Michael Scotch - sabremike  - Could this be a reference to Michael Scott of the Office fame, maybe.  
23 .  Seattle Argonauts - Ren-Ekelemchi Shimizu-Okoli - ProjectSaint  - what is going on here?  I can't even pronounce it, let alone grade it.  
24 .  Baltimore Platoon - Rob Wright - Snuffalupagus - boring
25 .  Winnipeg Jets - Vincent Mietitore - ViN - blah
26 .  Los Angeles Panthers - Kai Ichinose - Gumbaman - As long as he goes by the nick name cobra, I am all for this name.
27 .    New England Wolfpack - Kaapo Kampaninen - marco999  - I bet this guy wears a Jofa helmet like Jagr used to.
28 .   Hamilton Steelhawks - Wen Baters - Water - blah
29 .  Atlanta Inferno - Bjorn Thornsen - frazzle14 - probably a really nice guy, also has a baby carrier named after him.
30 .  Minnesota Monarchs - Hugo Gronroos - Jedi  - This name flows pretty well.  I like it
31 .   San Francisco Pride - Igor Petrov - TheCC  - son of a bitch, we couldn't get through an entire draft without one of these 
32 .  San Francisco Pride - Mikael Koskinen - storm - another Russian no doubt.
33 .  Edmonton Blizzard - Tyler Ward - Hordle  - blah
34 .  Chicago Syndicate - Kian Hamilton Jr - linsangeles  - it's a shame that Hamilton couldn't get drafted by the Steelhawks
35 .  New England Wolfpack - Bigga Foryu - UberBJ  - Another rapper name in the draft it seems.  I am good with it.
36 .  San Francisco Pride - Sonata Diamente - MattyIce  - Like the name Sonata, very musical.

Round 3:

37 .  San Francisco Pride - Anna Ponecorvo - AnnaH  - 
38 .  Baltimore Platoon - Victor Fedorov - Serpe x 13
39 .  Hamilton Steelhawks - Tokkulu Lakkamaa - dmuda11  - I don't know why but I like this name a lot.  It sounds like he should be on a rugby pitch doing The Haka.
40 .  Minnesota Monarchs - Jimmy Nucluster - eagle_brand  - Nucluster sounds like a virus outbreak, not a great look in 2020
41 .  Seattle Argonauts - Pass  - worst name in the draft, kidding.
42 .  Tampa Bay Barracuda - Pass
43 .  Winnipeg Jets - Marabelle Octive - Kagomewolf78
44 .  Los Angeles Panthers - Pass
45 .  Chicago Syndicate - Pass
46 .  Buffalo Stampede - Mikahail Borisnoff - Neadex
47 .  Atlanta Inferno -  Tres Sombreros - AL GRINGO  - Shout out to our hockey brothers from south of the border!
48 .  San Francisco Pride - Pass
49 .  Seattle Argonauts - Pass
50 .  Calgary Dragons - Pass
51 .  Edmonton Blizzard - Chad Alfa - MBHockey5 - an alfa chad, must be a serious bro.

52 .  San Francisco Pride - Pass
53 .  Buffalo Stampede - Pass

54 .  Hamilton Steelhawks - Pass



Round 4:



55 .  San Francisco Pride - Pass

56 .  Baltimore Platoon - Pass

57 .  Tampa Bay Barracuda - Pass
58 .  Minnesota Monarchs - Kyle Murray - Jimmysmo27  - Related to Kyler?  His family likes names that start with Kyle i guess.



I have to say, this season was a bit of a let down after some of the star studded names lists that we've seen in the previous two years.  With that said there is some quality in here.  In a very close personal vote, I am handing this year's crown to Rude Sniff @Dude.  Carry it forward with pride.  Looking forward to some better creativity next season but feel free to throw our your choices for the top name if there are any in here that you like better.  Maybe next year we will do a proper poll and get some actual voting going on verses having me be the end all be all in this contest.  If anyone has any other ideas for improving this feel free to drop them below as well.  Hopefully this was just enough words to get me to 1750.

Code:

1750 Words Double Media Draft

Gritty McGritterson Player Page
Gritty McGritterson Update Page

S53 Four Star Cup Champion- Detroit Falcons
S56 Challenge Cup Champion - Hamilton Steelhawks

RESO:Laughs in tea-fuelled Igbo & Japanese

Sig Credit: Flappy (EVO) and Skolpaddor (RESO)

EMEKA VALENTINE-OKOLI/PLAYER

First SMJHL Goal: Colorado Raptors, Emeka Valentine-Okoli 1 (Mikelis Ozoliņš 4, Loki Odinsson 3) at 3:12, 2nd Period (GWG) / SMJHL S47 Game 47 Day 12: Colorado Raptors vs Detroit Falcons
First SHL Goal: Texas Renegades, Emeka Valentine-Okoli 1 (Josef Kubinec 5, Ricky Spanish 4) at 16:23, 2nd Period / SHL S51 Game 71 Day 16: Edmonton Blizzard vs Texas Renegades

Eternal , onwards we roll

And Let's Retire at the Pinnacle

it may not be creative, but its genius.

weak names this season. 100% the reason why we traded out completely

Thanks to @karey and @JSS for the sigs!

Teddy Cuddles  |  RW  | Edmonton Blizzard | Hall of Fame
Player Type : Two Way Forward
Height: 6'5" | Weight: 220 lbs | Age: 19
Number: 79
Birthplace: Providence, Rhode Island, USA
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Regular Season Stats :
S35 | STL | GP:28 | G:2 | A:1 | P:3 | PIMs:5 | HIT:7 | Shots:25 | +/-:-4
S36 | STL | GP:50 | G:10 | A:10 | P:20 | PIMs:5 | HIT:97 | Shots:88 | +/-:-1
S37 | STL | GP:50 | G:13 | A:27 | P:40 | PIMs:56 | HIT:120| Shots:146 | +/-:+10
S38 | EDM | GP:50 | G:6 | A:7 | P:13 | PIMs:62 | HIT:114 | Shots:83 | +/-:-18
S39 | EDM | GP:50 | G:7 | A:15 | P:22 | PIMs:36 | HIT:161 | Shots:78 | +/-:-10
S40 | EDM | GP:50 | G:13 | A:29 | P:42 | PIMs:46 | HIT:197 | Shots:109 | +/-:+7
S41 | EDM | GP:50 | G:17 | A:17 | P:34 | PIMs:49 | HIT:143 | Shots:121 | +/-:-4
S42 | EDM | GP:50 | G:17 | A:24 | P:41 | PIMs:52 | HIT:135 | Shots:132 | +/-:+9
S43 | EDM | GP:50 | G:14 | A:23 | P:37 | PIMs:24 | HIT:121 | Shots:121 | +/-:-2
S44 | EDM | GP:50 | G:21 | A:32 | P:53 | PIMs:28 | HIT:131 | Shots:214 | +/-:+19
S45 | EDM | GP:50 | G:13 | A:24 | P:37 | PIMs:51 | HIT:170 | Shots:185 | +/-:+9
S46 | EDM | GP:50 | G:29 | A:31 | P:60 | PIMs:53 | HIT:152 | Shots:195 | +/-:+9
S47 | EDM | GP:50 | G:17 | A:33 | P:50 | PIMs:46 | HIT:182 | Shots:199 | +/-:+8
S48 | EDM | GP:50 | G:22 | A:23 | P:45 | PIMs:26 | HIT:182 | Shots:210 | +/-:+7
S49 | EDM | GP:50 | G:20 | A:25 | P:45 | PIMs:36 | HIT:149 | Shots:208 | +/-:+1
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Post Season Stats :
S35 | STL | GP:7 | G:0 | A:0 | P:0 | PIMs:0 | HIT:2 | Shots:4 | +/-:+1
S36 | STL | GP:6 | G:1 | A:1 | P:2 | PIMs:7 | HIT:14 | Shots:12 | +/-:+3
S37 | STL | GP:13 | G:4 | A:5 | P:9 | PIMs:26 | HIT:26 | Shots:30 | +/-:+7
S38 | EDM | Did not qualify
S39 | EDM | GP:7 | G:3 | A:3 | P:6 | PIMs:4 | HIT:18 | Shots:10 | +/-:+1
S40 | EDM | GP:7 | G:1 | A:6 | P:7 | PIMs:4 | HIT:33 | Shots:15 | +/-:+2
S41 | EDM | GP:7 | G:2 | A:3 | P:5 | PIMs:12 | HIT:15 | Shots:15 | +/-:+1
S42 | EDM | GP:11 | G:5 | A:8 | P:13 | PIMs:10 | HIT:25 | Shots:38 | +/-:+1
S43 | EDM | Did not Qualify
S44 | EDM | GP:11 | G:4 | A:7 | P:11 | PIMs:12 | HIT:31 | Shots:42 | +/-:+3
S45 | EDM | GP:18 | G:7 | A:11 | P:18 | PIMs:24 | HIT:56 | Shots:68 | +/-:+8
S46 | EDM | GP:4 | G:0 | A:0 | P:0 | PIMs:2 | HIT:9 | Shots:11 | +/-:-5
S47 | EDM | GP:6 | G:3 | A:2 | P:5 | PIMs:6 | HIT:24 | Shots:25 | +/-:+2
S48 | EDM | GP:5 | G:2 | A:2 | P:4 | PIMs:0 | HIT:11 | Shots:19 | +/-:0
S49 | EDM | GP:23 | G:7 | A:17 | P:24 | PIMs:18 | HIT:76 | Shots:89 | +/-:-2
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Awards and Achievements:
S37 | STL Kanye Summers Award for Regular Season Team MVP
S37 | STL Bradley Wingels Award for Best Forward
S40 | Gold Medal Winner
S40 | Aidan Richan Trophy Winner
S44 | Became 4th player in Edmonton Blizzard History to reach 1000 Hits
S45 | Challenge Cup Champion
S45 | Anton Razov Trophy for Playoff MVP
S45 | Silver Medal Winner
S46 | 1st Team All Star
S46 | Sarmad Kahn Nominee
S46 | Jef Darr Nominee
S47 | Jef Darr Nominee
S49 | Challenge Cup Champion
S49 | Anton Razov Nominee
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Draft/Signing/Trade History:
S35 | Signed to STL
S36 | Drafted to Calgary 26th overall
S36 | Traded to Edmonton


Ambacas “Femboy Hooters” Cuddles | D | Tampa Bay Barracuda

Former USA Fed Head, Carolina Kraken Co-GM, Tampa Bay Barracuda GM