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Seymour · 12-10-2020, 04:15 PM

With the holidays fast approaching you must wonder what the rookies of Season 58 will get for the holiday season.

LD Jean-Locke Zidane – The first overall pick of the season 58 SMJHL was given their gift early this year by going first overall but nonetheless Zidane will still get another gift. The hockey gods are gifting a 100% tinted visor to strike fear into the opposing team’s souls. This will unlock Zidane’s new defensive ability – the dark unknown.

RD Luc Blouin - This French man is a long way from France – from the streets of Grenoble, France to the potholed streets of Detroit. The hockey gods felt like Luc needed something extra special for the holiday season. Luc will be receiving 3 crates of wine and 3 wheels of cheese imported from his hometown. The only caveat is that delivery is not guaranteed since it must go through Detroit.

RW Pavel Jeziak – Pavel was born in Florida but there seems to be a Russian pipeline in his history. The hockey gods were ready to gift Pavel some coal, but a last-minute system hack changed it so that he is on the good list. We are still looking into this hack but until then we must give Pavel a gift. This holiday season, the hockey gods are gifting Pavel a brick oven pizza. This gift will help Pavel become stronger and thicker. The mass that Pavel will be able to put on after destroying 18 brick oven cooked pizzas he will become a wrecking ball and a menace to opposing players.

C Kermit Murphy – Kermit was almost on the coal list but somehow made it back onto the gift list by skin of his green hairs. For this holiday season Kermit will be receiving a life-time’s supply of Miss Piggy stick tape. This will hopefully encourage the Kermit to score some more – when Miss Piggy is around Kermit never misses.

RD #A-Rye Izzy – Based off the name alone this player should be on the coal list. But the hockey gods were merciful this year and instead of coal, he will receive a free name change. The hockey gods understand that the parents of Izzy chose that name so they want to help correct that error so he can go on to live a more peaceful and purposeful life. With a name change this could help his chances are going early in the SHL draft as they know that it is an actual player and not a twitter hashtag.

C Noel Blanchet – A fellow French man that came all the way from France to play hockey. The hockey gods felt like they cannot give a gift that is better than what he has already received. The gift that Noel received was not going to a city like Detroit like Luc who needs the wine and cheese. Noel gets to live a stress-free life in Colorado and that’s the best gift for the holiday season.

C Dogwood Maple – Dogwood has been a very good boy this year and it is going to pay off for Dogwood this holiday season. The hockey gods will be gifting a life-time membership to the Coastal Maine Botanical Gardens. Unfortunately, this botanical garden does not have any dogwood plants, but they do have a wide variety of plants and other green stuff.

LD Basil Sivart – This young man has been on the top of the good list since he was born. So, the hockey gods wanted to make sure that he got was he deserved. For this holiday season, Basil Sivart will be receiving a life-time supply of basil plants. The gift of herbs goes back to the beginning of time. This will help Basil enjoy his food more with basil being used as a garnish. Basil bread, basil cereal, basil hot dogs, this could go on forever and ever.

RD Bean Beanman – This one is easy. The gift that Bean will get this holiday season is a sponsorship from Heinz. This is the perfect pairing for the two – Bean is soon to be the official Bean of Canada and Heinz has the best beans on the market. With this perfect pairing you can expect to see Holiday Beans with Bean on the cover.

LD Ole Olson – This is also another easy one as the connection between Ole Olson and the Olsen twins are close. Some would say that they are one letter away from being the same. For this holiday season, the hockey gods are gifting Ole Olson…. A copy of every single movie or TV show that the Olsen twins have been in. This gift should help Ole find success – he will see how big the Olsen twins go and find it in himself to reach that level of fame as well. They are going to have a full house in Carolina!

[806 words]

Approved, +5 TPE @"SeymourSnatches"

**leafs1997** · 12-10-2020, 05:14 PM

@~~Mike Izzy~~ so, when will u be cashing in this free name change?

DeletedAtUserRequest · 12-10-2020, 05:38 PM

12-10-2020, 05:14 PMleafs1997 Wrote: @~~Mike Izzy~~ so, when will u be cashing in this free name change?

Code:
RD #A-Rye Izzy – Based off the name alone this player should be on the coal list.

Fortunately #A-Rye collects coal.
this would be a #festive gift.

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