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(GRADED) Deep Dive #1 - The Breeding Potential of the Anchorage Armada
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(This post was last modified: 01-03-2021, 04:33 PM by leafs1997.)

If there is one key indicator to the success of a species, it is the ability for them to propogate their genetic code on down to the line.  It is thus reasonable to assume that the long term prospects of an SMJHL team will also rely on this ability, as mating partners within the team must be compatible and effective at carrying out their tasks if the roster is to be strong and healthy in the future.

The following is a look at the roster of the Anchorage Armada, and will take a closer look at the breeding potential of many of their players so that we might have a good idea as to the future health of the Armada.

1) Tokkulu Lakkamaa.  This creature from Finland was initially pegged to have incredible stamina, but as the humans like to say, it has gone rather limp.  Though Lakkamaa has other skills and talents, the talk around the water cooler in Anchorage is that there is a lot of show here, but not a lot of production.  Now that I am living in Vancouver and playing for the Whalers, it has become clear to me that anyone who has associations with the NHL Vancouver Canucks, also suffer from this same issue.  It has been suggested that Lakkamaa may have that issue.

2) Thorbjorn Gunnarson - There must be something about the #4. While Gunnarson may not be endowed with the largest of attributes required to pass on their DNA, my research has indiccated that what he lacks in size, he makes up for in skill.  This was something that the world's greatest #4, Bobby Orr, also had going for him.  While the specifics of these skills are not to be discussed here, my research has led me to believe that Thorbjorn can do things that very few others cannot.  The downside to these abilities are that, in much the same way as his numerical forefather Bobby Orr, speed is not an asset in this case.  Also, we can only hope that Gunnarson does not end up with bad knees like Orr as well.

3) Theo Kondos - There are whispers on the streets of Anchorage about an Austrian stallion who performs greats feats of endurance.  While it has never been confirmed to be Kondos, the descriptions of a mustached human who makes visits in the night and has several important similarities to a horse.  This is very Kondos-like.  On Sardang we have some creature called Nozblats. They have no eyes, but they breed in ways similar to rabbits on earth.  They are quite fecund!  Interestingly, one of the greatest Nozblats in history was called Theophlop that large.  Theophlop?  Theo?  Coincidence?  Some would say there are no coincidences, but only quantum echoes.

4) Matthew Sawful - Standing at 6'3" and 190 pounds, Matthew Sawful is large, but not massive, when compared to many others around the league. Hailing from the little town of Chicago in the United States of America, Sawful is likely written off as being a lousy breeding option for many who might inquire, considering the lack of abilities in that regards of most Chicago residents. However, one would be remiss to overlook this breeding option. As I have struggled to learn the intricacies of the human language, there have been some aspects which have been most challenging indeed. One of those is irony.  It is ironic that his name is Sawful, and yet from all reports, his breeding potential is certainly not.  Is that irony?  I am unsure.  I will have to ask human historian Alanis Morissette that question and find out for sure.

5) Turg Turg - There are very few humans who I seem to have an instant connection with, but Turg Turg is one of them. Also somehow appearing from amidst the mountains surrounding a town, Turg Turg is one of the very few who seems to really "get" the things that are truly important to a species.  Of those things, the ability to breed, and breed well, is paramount.  Turg Turg clearly gets this.  He is a gentle soul who would not hurt a Sparglaxian Space Beetle if it were attacking him, and for that he needs to be commended.  However, my research has indicated that he is the apex predator when it comes to being a mating partner on the roster, and there are none who dare challenge him.  Perhaps it had something to do with how he grew up in the wilds of the Rocky Mountains, but his ability to pass on his DNA far outstrips any other human that I have encountered thus far.

So what does this all mean for the future of the Anchorage Armada.  At first glance things look to be bleak, with such tepid breeding partners like Lakkamaa and Lemo Pihl (who I could not even bring myself to discuss), but Sawful and Turg Turg are such special breeding mates that the future gene pool of the Armada is likely to be strong and healthy for many years to come. The management team of the Armada should be celebrated for what they have built.

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Approved, +5 TPE @nyumbayangu
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