Idk what cool whip tastes like but I ain’t putting Mayo on pumpkin pie that’s fucked

Cool whip is just a brand of whipped cream



I personally don't eat it. It's so easy to make your own whipped cream and Cool Whip has a plasticy taste imo

i use da can like a real people

 
Steve Harrington | LW | Chicago Syndicate
// CHICAGO SYNDICATE //
S75 SHL75: #45 Steve Harrington
S75 Traded to CHI
===================================
// TAMPA BAY BARRACUDA //
S74 Traded to TBB
===================================
// TORONTO NORTH STARS //
S73 Signed with TOR in Free Agency
===================================
// BUFFALO STAMPEDE //
S71 Challenge Cup
S71-S72 Alternate Captain
S64 All-SHL 3rd Team
S62 All-SHL 1st Team
S62 Ron Mexico Nominee
S61 All-SHL 2nd Team
S60 Challenge Cup
S60 Helping Hand - The Maples
S56 All-Rookie Team S56 Ryan Jesster Nominee
S53 SHL Draft 3rd Overall
===================================
// NEWFOUNDLAND BERSERKERS //
S55 Brodie Witzel Nominee
S55 Four Star Cup
S55 Co-Captain
S52-S54 Alternate Captain
S52 SMJHL Draft 4th Overall
===================================
// DEUTSCHLAND //
S72 Gold Medal
S70 Gold Medal
S58 Bronze Medal
S57 Bronze Medal

===================================
// SHL //
S64 Damian Littleton (Trading Cards Team)

I feel like cool whip can be wiped off of a sandwich and the sweetness covered up better than mayo could be wiped and covered by pie.

Oliver Castillon | Nevada Battleborn | Los Angeles Panthers | Peak TPE: TBD
  Center | #77 | Height: 6 ft., 1 in. | Weight: 200 lbs.
  Birthplace: Montpellier, FRA
---------------------------------------------------------
International Records
---------------------------------------------------------
|WJC | SWE | S69 | 12 GP | 0 G | 2 A | 2 P | -11 +/- | 10 SOG | 7 Hits | 1 SB | 7 GA | 9 TA | 41.2% FOW|
|WJC | ICE | S70 | 12 GP | 3 G | 1 A | 4 P | 2 +/- | 9 SOG | 21 Hits | 5 SB | 5 GA | 2 TA | 00.0% FOW|
|WJC | RHI | S71 | 12 GP | 2 G | 1 A | 3 P | -1 +/- | 6 SOG | 8 Hits | 6 SB | 3 GA | 3 TA | 36.7% FOW|
|IIHF | FRA | S71 | 12 GP | 0 G | 1 A | 1 P | 0 +/- | 8 SOG | 11 Hits | 0 SB | 6 GA | 2 TA | 50.0% FOW|
|IIHF | FRA | S72 | 12 GP | 1 G | 3 A | 4 P | -1 +/- | 7 SOG | 6 Hits | 1 SB | 4 GA | 5 TA | 46.0% FOW|
|IIHF | FRA | S73 | 12 GP | 2 G | 3 A | 5 P | 1 +/- | 21 SOG | 4 Hits | 6 SB | 7 GA | 10 TA | 48.6% FOW|
|IIHF | FRA | S74 | 12 GP | 3 G | 2 A | 5 P | -9 +/- | 29 SOG | 3 Hits | 8 SB | 4 GA | 9 TA | 62.4% FOW|
---------------------------------------------------------
SMJHL Records
---------------------------------------------------------
|SMJHL | NBB | S69 | 9 GP | 0 G | 3 A | 3 P | -7 +/- | 13 SOG | 7 Hits | 3 SB | 0 GA | 5 TA | 40.4% FOW| <-- DFA Season
|SMJHL | COL | S70 | 66 GP | 16 G | 30 A | 46 P | 12 +/- | 109 SOG | 110 Hits | 38 SB | 39 GA | 32 TA | 53.0% FOW|
|SMJHL | NBB | S71 | 66 GP | 21 G | 35 A | 56 P | 5 +/- | 169 SOG | 157 Hits | 43 SB | 60 GA | 56 TA | 41.1% FOW|
---------------------------------------------------------
SHL Records
---------------------------------------------------------
|SHL | LAP | S72 | 66 GP | 14 G | 22 A | 36 P | -1 +/- | 124 SOG | 52 Hits | 32 SB | 62 GA | 33 TA | 40.4% FOW|
|SHL-P | LAP | S72 | 11 GP | 3 G | 2 A | 5 P | -5 +/- | 26 SOG | 5 Hits | 5 SB | 7 GA | 3 TA | 41.2% FOW|
|SHL | LAP | S73 | 66 GP | 18 G | 25 A | 43 P | -3 +/- | 136 SOG | 36 Hits | 29 SB | 40 GA | 40 TA | 49.1% FOW|
|SHL-P | LAP | S73 | 8 GP | 2 G | 3 A | 5 P | -5 +/- | 17 SOG | 9 Hits | 6 SB | 7 GA | 9 TA | 50.6% FOW|
|SHL | LAP | S74 | 66 GP | 17 G | 35 A | 52 P | 10 +/- | 169 SOG | 47 Hits | 27 SB | 74 GA | 30 TA | 55.9% FOW|
|SHL-P | LAP | S74 | 6 GP | 4 G | 1 A | 5 P | -3 +/- | 12 SOG | 3 Hits | 2 SB | 4 GA | 4 TA | 55.3% FOW|
|SHL | LAP | S75 | 66 GP | 30 G | 24 A | 54 P | 4 +/- | 167 SOG | 57 Hits | 25 SB | 44 GA | 45 TA | 48.8% FOW|
|SHL-P | LAP | S75 | 18 GP | 6 G | 10 A | 16 P | 12 +/- | 35 SOG | 11 Hits | 9 SB | 12 GA | 17 TA | 54.7% FOW|
---------------------------------------------------------
Events
---------------------------------------------------------
S69: Signed as a Draftable Free Agent with the Nevada Battleborn.
S69: Loaned from Team Rhine to Team Sweden to play in the WJC Tournament.
S70: Drafted 2OA by the Colorado Raptors
S70: Loaned from Team Rhine to Team Ice to play in the WJC Tournament.
S70: Won WJC Bronze with Team Ice.
S71: Drafted 6OA by the Los Angeles Panthers!
S71: Traded from Colorado to Nevada for S73 3rd & Derek Fitz.
S72: Called Up to the Los Angeles Panthers.
✪✪S75: CHALLENGE CUP CHAMPION WITH THE LOS ANGELES PANTHERS!✪✪


Thanks @enigmatic, @Carpy48, @Bayley, @Ragnar, @sulovilen, & @dasboot for the signatures!

Danny Marston | St. Louis Scarecrows | Toronto North Stars | Peak TPE: 1909
  Center | #34 | Height: 6 ft., 2 in. | Weight: 205 lbs.
  Birthplace: Lithia, FL, USA
---------------------------------------------------------
St. Louis Records
---------------------------------------------------------
| S51 | 62 GP | 14 G |  20 A | 34 Pts |  -12 +/- | 128 SOG | 10.94 Sh% | 17 Hits |    8 SB |
| S52 | 67 GP | 13 G |  27 A | 40 Pts | +15 +/- | 113 SOG | 11.50 Sh% | 70 Hits |  12 SB |
| S53 | 64 GP |   7 G |  38 A | 45 Pts |    -9 +/- | 144 SOG |  4.87 Sh% | 46 Hits | 111 SB |15 GvA|25 TkA|
| S54 | 57 GP | 15 G |  35 A | 50 Pts |     0 +/- | 130 SOG | 11.54 Sh% | 48 Hits |  59 SB |19 GvA|16 TkA|
---------------------------------------------------------
Toronto Records
---------------------------------------------------------
| S55 | 50 GP |  8 G  | 17 A | 25 Pts |  -35 +/- |  78 SOG |10.26 Sh% | 67 Hits |  77 SB | 19 GvA |13 TkA|
| S56 | 50 GP |  6 G  | 17 A | 23 Pts |  -  1 +/- | 103 SOG|  5.83 Sh% |  54 Hits |  38 SB | 34 GvA |10 TkA|
| S57 | 66 GP | 17 G | 25 A | 42 Pts |  13 +/-  | 156 SOG|10.90 Sh% |113 Hits|  66 SB | 34 GvA |  9 TkA|
| S58 | 85 GP | 23 G | 40 A | 63 Pts |  29 +/-  | 250 SOG|11.22 Sh% |143 Hits|117 SB | 42 GvA |34 TkA|
| S59 | 66 GP | 16 G | 31 A | 47 Pts |  23 +/-  | 172 SOG|  9.30 Sh% |107 Hits|  88 SB | 28 GvA |  9 TkA|
| S60 | 70 GP | 30 G | 43 A | 73 Pts |    9 +/-  | 217 SOG|13.82 Sh% |  74 Hits|110 SB | 32 GvA |31 TkA|
| S61 | 71 GP | 19 G | 52 A | 71 Pts |    4 +/-  | 207 SOG|  9.18 Sh% |  66 Hits|116 SB | 41 GvA |21 TkA|
| S62 | 70 GP |   9 G | 33 A | 42 Pts |  -9 +/-  | 184 SOG|  4.89 Sh% |  77 Hits|122 SB | 38 GvA |36 TkA|
| S63 | 71 GP | 29 G | 30 A | 59 Pts |    9 +/-  | 225 SOG|12.89 Sh% |  57 Hits|104 SB | 43 GvA |27 TkA|
---------------------------------------------------------
Winnipeg Records
---------------------------------------------------------
| S64 | 70 GP | 17 G | 28 A | 45 Pts |-28 +/-  | 165 SOG|10.30 Sh% |122 Hits|129 SB | 42 GvA |27 TkA|
---------------------------------------------------------
Team USA Records
---------------------------------------------------------
| S51 WJC  | 28 GP | 5 G |  7 A | 12 Pts | +8 +/- | 39 SOG |12.82 Sh% | 35 Hits |  2 SB |
| S52 WJC  | 22 GP | 1 G |  6 A |   7 Pts | +6 +/- | 24 SOG |  4.17 Sh% | 15 Hits |  0 SB |
| S53 WJC  | 21 GP | 3 G |  2 A |   5 Pts |   0 +/- | 37 SOG |  8.11 Sh% | 11 Hits | 25 SB |  1 GvA  | 3 TkA |
| S54 WJC  | 22 GP | 6 G |10 A | 16 Pts | -5 +/- | 62 SOG |  9.68 Sh% | 21 Hits | 37 SB | 11 GvA  | 8 TkA |
| S55 IIHF  | 20 GP | 1 G |  2 A |   3 Pts | -7 +/- | 28 SOG |   3.57 Sh% | 20 Hits |   5 SB |   6 GvA  |  5 TkA |
| S56 IIHF  | 20 GP | 0 G |  3 A |   3 Pts |  0 +/- |   8 SOG |  0.00 Sh%  | 20 Hits | 10 SB |   2 GvA  |  3 TkA |
| S57 IIHF  | 21 GP | 3 G |  2 A |   5 Pts |  4 +/- | 20 SOG | 15.00 Sh% |   9 Hits |   5 SB |   2 GvA  |  4 TkA |
| S58 IIHF  | 20 GP | 2 G |  7 A |   9 Pts |  0 +/- | 49 SOG |   4.10 Sh% | 26 Hits | 28 SB |   6 GvA  |  3 TkA |
| S59 IIHF  | 20 GP | 5 G |  8 A | 13 Pts |  6 +/- | 49 SOG | 10.18 Sh% | 31 Hits |13 SB | 13 GvA  |  4 TkA |
| S60 IIHF  | 19 GP | 7 G |13 A | 20 Pts |13 +/- | 51 SOG | 14.40 Sh% | 26 Hits |   9 SB |   7 GvA  |  8 TkA |
| S61 IIHF  | 20 GP | 8 G |11 A | 19 Pts |  4 +/- | 56 SOG | 14.31 Sh% | 31 Hits |   9 SB |   6 GvA  | 22 TkA|
| S62 IIHF  | 20 GP | 5 G |  5 A | 10 Pts | -1 +/- | 52 SOG |    9.60 Sh% |  25 Hits | 13 SB |   5 GvA  | 24 TkA|
| S63 IIHF  | 20 GP | 5 G |  5 A | 10 Pts | -1 +/- | 52 SOG |    9.60 Sh% |  25 Hits | 13 SB |   5 GvA  | 24 TkA|
---------------------------------------------------------
Events
---------------------------------------------------------
S51: Drafted 13OA in Round 2 by the St. Louis Scarecrows.
S52: Drafted 9OA in Round 1 by the Minnesota Chiefs.
S52: Named Assistant Captain of the St. Louis Scarecrows.
S52: Won Luke Riggs Award; STL Award for Best Locker Room Presence.
S53: Traded from MIN to TOR.
S53: Named Captain of the St. Louis Scarecrows.
S53: Won Brandon Holmes Award; SMJHL Award for Best Defensive Forward.
S53: Won Mika Kandinsky Award; STL Award for Best Two-Way Forward.
S54: Extended contract with Toronto through S57.
✪ S54: WJC Team USA Gold Medalist ✪
S55: SHL All-Rookie Team
S55: Won 5 of 14 Toronto Team Awards
S57: Extended contract with Toronto through S61.
S60: Named to the Eastern Conference All-Star Team.
S62: Named Assistant Captain of the Toronto North Stars.
S63: Named Captain of Team USA for IIHF.
✪ S63: IIHF Team USA Gold Medalist ✪
S64: Signed in Free Agency with the Winnipeg Aurora.
S65: Officially Retired.


Shiny Shuckle | Colorado Raptors | Winnipeg Aurora | Peak TPE: 499
Goalie | #30 | Height: 6 ft., 0 in. | Weight: 200 lbs.
Hatched: Route 9A, New York, NY, USA
---------------------------------------------------------
Colorado Records
---------------------------------------------------------
|S64| 28 GP | 1618 MP | 19 -   4 - 3 |   684 SHA |   74 GA | 2.74 GAA | 1 SO | 0.892 SV%| 
|S65| 56 GP | 3254 MP | 33 - 20 - 1 | 1606 SHA | 168 GA | 3.10 GAA | 4 SO | 0.895 SV%| 
|S66| 59 GP | 3470 MP | 40 - 14 - 3 | 1612 SHA | 152 GA | 2.63 GAA | 3 SO | 0.906 SV%| 
|S67| 54 GP | 3073 MP | 30 - 23 - 1 | 1724 SHA | 186 GA | 3.63 GAA | 3 SO | 0.892 SV%| 
---------------------------------------------------------
SHL Level Records
---------------------------------------------------------
|S67| BAP |  9 GP | 389 MP | 3 - 3 - 0 | 214 SHA | 28 GA | 4.32 GAA | 1 SO | 0.869 SV%| 
|S68| WPG|13 GP | 777 MP |11- 2 - 0 | 298 SHA | 21 GA | 1.62 GAA | 1 SO | 0.930 SV%| 
|S69| WPG|13 GP | 730 MP |12- 0 - 0 | 271 SHA | 16 GA | 1.31 GAA | 3 SO | 0.941 SV%| 
---------------------------------------------------------
Finland Records
---------------------------------------------------------
|S64| WJC | 10 GP | 567 MP | 5 - 2 - 2 | 196 SHA | 14 GA | 1.48 GAA | 3 SO | 0.929 SV%| 
|S65| WJC |   6 GP | 338 MP | 2 - 3 - 1 | 185 SHA | 26 GA | 4.62 GAA | 0 SO | 0.859 SV%| 
|S66| WJC | 14 GP | 803 MP | 5 - 8 - 0 | 428 SHA | 34 GA | 2.54 GAA | 3 SO | 0.921 SV%| 
|S67| WJC | 16 GP | 970 MP | 6 - 9 - 1 | 422 SHA | 48 GA | 2.97 GAA | 0 SO | 0.886 SV%| 
---------------------------------------------------------
Events
---------------------------------------------------------
S64: Drafted 22OA in Round 2 by the Colorado Raptors.
S64: Transferred to Finland for International Tournaments.
S64: Won Silver Medal with WJC Finland as the Backup Goaltender.
S65: Drafted 45OA in Round 3 by the Winnipeg Aurora.
S66: Co-Winner of the Matt Lewis-Flood Trophy; SMJHL Award for Highest Team Save Percentage.
S66: Winner of the Cedric Robinson Trophy; SMJHL Award for Best Goalie.
S66: Nominated for the Ideen Fallah Award; SMJHL Award for Award Committee MVP.
S67: Traded to Baltimore from Winnipeg.
S67: Made 1st SHL Start for Baltimore Platoon Against the Hamilton Steelhawks (11/2 5-4W(SO)).
S68: Traded to Winnipeg from Baltimore.
S69: Announced retirement.


Site Jobs: Daniel J. Marston
---------------------------------------------------------
S51/S52: WJC GM for Team USA.
S52/S53: WJC Co-GM for Team USA.
S54: Became the General Manager of the St. Louis Scarecrows.
S60: Retired from Management of the St. Louis Scarecrows.
S62: Interim General Manager of the Toronto North Stars.
S65: Hired as IIHF Broadcaster (IIHF Simmer).
S69: Hired as Co-Head of Broadcasting (Head Simmer).  
S70: Nominated for Damian Littleton Achievement Award.
S72: Nominated for Damian Littleton Achievement Award.
---------------------------------------------------------
St. Louis Records
---------------------------------------------------------
S54 | 26 W | 23 L | 1 OTL | 53 Pts | 147 GF | 148 GA |
          East 3rd; League 5th; Lost in Round 1 to CAR (G7)
S55 | 18 W | 28 L | 4 OTL | 40 Pts | 113 GF | 162 GA |
          East 4th; League 9th; Lost in Round 1 to VAN (G4)
S56 | 18 W | 29 L | 3 OTL | 39 Pts | 119 GF | 173 GA |
          East 5th; League 11th; Lost in Round 1 to MET (G7)
S57 | 25 W | 36 L | 5 OTL | 55 Pts | 163 GF | 206 GA |
          East 5th; League 11th; Won in Round 1 to KEL (G7), Lost in Round 2 to ANC (G4) 
S58 | 19 W | 40 L | 7 OTL | 45 Pts | 170 GF | 254 GA |
          East 5th; League 11th; Lost in Round 1 to ANC (G6) 
S59 | 20 W | 40 L | 6 OTL | 46 Pts | 161 GF | 241 GA |
          East 6th; League 11th; Lost in Round 1 to QCC (G7) 
S60 | 28 W | 30 L | 8 OTL | 64 Pts | 202 GF | 214 GA |
          East 5th; League 9th; Won in Round 1 to DET (G4), Lost in Round 2 to VAN (G7) 

Mayo is just wrong to me so this was an easy choice. Cool Whip sandwich would not be ideal, but certainly manageable under duress.

Klaes Ashford | C | Vancouver Whalers | 765 TPE
SMJHL Regular Season
S68 - VAN || GP: 66 || G: 19 || A: 18 || Pts: 37 || PM: -12 || PIM: 28 || H: 64
S69 - VAN || GP: 66 || G: 19 || A: 28 || Pts: 47 || PM: -38 || PIM: 46 || H: 99
SMJHL Playoffs
S68 - VAN || GP: 5 || G: 1 || A: 2 || Pts: 3 || PM: -2 || PIM: 0 || H: 9
Career Notes
Drafted 8th Overall by the Vancouver Whalers in S68 SMJHL Draft
Drafted 12th Overall by the Tampa Bay Barracuda in S69 SHL Draft

Josef Kubinec | LW | Texas Renegades | Retired
SMJHL Career
S46 - HAL || GP: 43 || G: 4 || A: 2 || Pts: 6 || PM: +2 || PIM: 6 || H: 22
S47 - HAL || GP: 50 || G: 10 || A: 10 || Pts: 20 || PM: -7 || PIM: 38 || H: 34
S48 - HAL || GP: 50 || G: 20 || A: 22 || Pts: 42 || PM: +10 || PIM: 10 || H: 24
S49 - HAL || GP: 50 || G: 20 || A: 26 || Pts: 46 || PM: +17 || PIM: 35 || H: 53
SMJHL Playoffs
S46 - HAL || GP: 13 || G: 0 || A: 1 || Pts: 1 || PM: -2 || PIM: 0 || H: 2
S47 - HAL || GP: 4 || G: 2 || A: 0 || Pts: 0 || PM: 0 || PIM: 4 || H: 3
S48 - HAL || GP: 16 || G: 6 || A: 7 || Pts: 13 || PM: 0 || PIM: 10 || H: 5
S49 - HAL || GP: 7 || G: 3 || A: 2 || Pts: 5 || PM: +2 || PIM: 2 || H: 10
SHL Career
S50 - TEX || GP: 50 || G: 10 || A: 13 || Pts: 23 || PM: -15 || PIM: 10 || H: 15
S51 - TEX || GP: 50 || G: 24 || A: 22 || Pts: 46 || PM: -7 || PIM: 20 || H: 45
S52 - TEX || GP: 50 || G: 16 || A: 16 || Pts: 32 || PM: -18 || PIM: 20 || H: 56
S53 - TEX || GP: 50 || G: 15 || A: 18 || Pts: 33 || PM: -21 || PIM: 20 || H: 48
S54 - TEX || GP: 50 || G: 18 || A: 33 || Pts: 51 || PM: +6 || PIM: 26 || H: 25
S55 - TEX || GP: 50 || G: 13 || A: 22 || Pts: 35 || PM: -1|| PIM: 12 || H: 35
S56 - TEX || GP: 50 || G: 21 || A: 41 || Pts: 62 || PM: +22|| PIM: 18 || H: 44
S57 - TEX || GP: 66 || G: 22 || A: 47 || Pts: 69 || PM: +6|| PIM: 10 || H: 48
S58 - TEX || GP: 66 || G: 35 || A: 30 || Pts: 65 || PM: +47|| PIM: 12 || H: 75
S59 - TEX || GP: 66 || G: 14 || A: 33 || Pts: 47 || PM: +31|| PIM: 6 || H: 41
S60 - TEX || GP: 66 || G: 27 || A: 32 || Pts: 59 || PM: +24|| PIM: 21 || H: 54
S61 - TEX || GP: 66 || G: 22 || A: 28 || Pts: 50 || PM: +25|| PIM: 8 || H: 29
Total || GP: 680 || G: 237 || A: 335 || Pts: 572 || PM: +99|| PIM: 183 || H: 515
SHL Playoffs
S55 - TEX || GP: 4 || G: 0 || A: 1 || Pts: 1 || PM: -1|| PIM: 0 || H: 3
S56 - TEX || GP: 4 || G: 0 || A: 0 || Pts: 0 || PM: -7|| PIM: 0 || H: 1
S57 - TEX || GP: 5 || G: 1 || A: 1 || Pts: 2 || PM: -2|| PIM: 0 || H: 5
S58 - TEX || GP: 12 || G: 3 || A: 2 || Pts: 5 || PM: -4|| PIM: 2 || H: 10
S59 - TEX || GP: 16 || G: 3 || A: 12 || Pts: 15 || PM: +13|| PIM: 0 || H: 14
S60 - TEX || GP: 9 || G: 6 || A: 4 || Pts: 10 || PM: +9|| PIM: 0 || H: 10
S61 - TEX || GP: 19 || G: 8 || A: 5 || Pts: 13 || PM: +5|| PIM: 0 || H: 17
Total || GP: 69 || G: 26 || A: 25 || Pts: 51 || PM: +13|| PIM: 2 || H: 60
Career Notes
Signed to Halifax as Free Agent, S46
Drafted 53rd Overall by TEX in S47 Entry Draft
Aidan Richan Award Nominee - S51
Named Alternate Captain for Texas Renegades - S54
Aidan Richan Award Winner - S56
All-Star - 3rd Team - S56
Won S59 Challenge Cup with Texas Renegades
IIHF Bronze Medal With Finland - S61
Retired after S61
4th all time in points for Texas Renegades*
5th all time in goals for Texas Renegades*
(*) At time of retirement

   

I can't say "Cool Whip" in my head without hearing it how Stewie says it on Family Guy.

Joe Kurczewski ll New Orleans Specters GM ll 1679 TPE

Drafted 12th overall by the Calgary Dragons in the S31 SHL Entry Draft
Drafted 22nd Overall to STL in the SMJHL S30 Entry Draft
Named Assistant Captain of the Scarecrows for S30
Named Captain of the Scarecrows for S31 and S32
Won the IIHF Gold Medal with Team USA in S31
Traded to Montreal at the S32 Trade Deadline
Named STL Scarecrows Co-GM
Won the S32 Challenge Cup with the Calgary Dragons
Won the IIHF Gold Medal with Team USA in S34
Won the S39 Four Star Cup as GM of the St. Louis Scarecrows
Won the S40 Challenge Cup with the Calgary Dragons
Won the S40 Ron Mexico Trophy (League MVP as voted by the awards committee)
Won the S40 Sarmad Khan Trophy (League MVP as voted by the players)
Won the IIHF Gold Medal with Team USA in S40.
Won the S42 Challenge Cup with the Calgary Dragons
Won the S42 Jeff Dar Trophy for Best Two-Way Forward
Won the S42 Anton Razov Trophy for Playoff MVP
Won the S44 Four Star Cup as GM of the St. Louis Scarecrows
Traded in the S44/S45 offseason to the Edmonton Blizzard for an S46 1st Round Pick
Won the S45 Challenge Cup with the Edmonton Blizzard
Won the S45 Four Star Cup as GM of the St. Louis Scarerows
Was awarded one of the two expansion franchises for S46 (New Orleans Specters)
 SHL STATS

Regular Season
------------------------------------------------------------------
S33: 50 GP - 6 G - 9 A - 15 PTS
S34: 50 GP - 14 G - 14 A - 28 PTS
S35: 50 GP - 14 G - 12 A - 26 PTS
S36: 50 GP - 23 G - 29 A - 52 PTS
S37: 50 GP - 28 G - 29 A - 57 PTS
S38: 50 GP - 25 G - 21 A - 46 PTS
S39: 50 GP - 17 G - 30 A - 47 PTS
S40: 50 GP - 29 G - 37 A - 66 PTS
S41: 50 GP - 25 G - 38 A - 63 PTS
S42: 50 GP - 18 G - 35 A - 53 PTS
S43: 50 GP - 17 G - 35 A - 52 PTS
S44: 50 GP - 21 G - 24 A - 45 PTS
S45: 50 GP - 22 G - 37 A - 59 PTS
------------------------------------------------------------------
Career: 650 GP - 259 G - 350 A - 609 PTS

Playoffs:
------------------------------------------------------------------
S32: 2 GP - 0 G - 0 A - 0 PTS (Won Challenge Cup)
S33: 16 GP - 6 G - 3 A - 9 PTS (Lost in Cup Final to NEW 4-2)

S34: Did Not Qualify
S35: 13 GP - 7 G - 4 A - 11 PTS (Lost in 2nd Round to POR 4-3)
S36: 11 GP - 5 G - 7 A - 12 PTS (Lost in 2nd Round to TEX 4-0)
S37: 7 GP - 5 G - 8 A - 13 PTS (Lost in 1st Round to SEA 4-3)
S38: 17 GP - 10 G - 11 A - 21 PTS (Lost in Cup Final to MAN 4-2)
S39: 4 GP - 1 G  - 1 A - 2 PTS (Lost in 1st Round to LAP 4-0)
S40: 19 GP - 6 G - 18 A - 24 PTS (Won Challenge Cup)
S41: 6 GP - 3 G - 3 A - 6 PTS (Lost in 1st Round to WPG 4-2)
S42: 16 GP - 10 G - 15 A - 25 PTS (Won Challenge Cup)
S43: 6 GP - 5 G - 3 A - 8 PTS (Lost in 1st Round to WPG 4-2)
S44: 5 GP - 0 G - 2 A - 2 PTS (Lost in 1st Round to EDM 4-1)
S45: 18 GP - 9 G - 10 A - 19 PTS(Won Challenge Cup)
_________________________________________
Totals: 138 GP - 68 G - 84 A - 152 PTS

SMJHL STATS
Regular Season:

S30: 50 GP - 13 G - 13 A - 26 PTS 
S31: 50 GP - 17 G - 21 A - 38 PTS
S32: STL: 42 GP - 14 G - 7 A - 21 PTS
S32: MTL: 8 GP - 2 G - 2 A - 4 PTS 
S32: TOT: 50 GP - 16 G - 9 A - 25 PTS
------------------------------------------------------------------------------------
Playoffs: 
 
S30: 7GP - 3 G - 3 A - 6 PTS
S31: 4GP - 0 G - 0 A - 0 PTS
S32: 4GP - 3 G - 1 A - 4 PTS


Update Page
Player Page

Idk what cool whip tastes like but I ain’t putting Mayo on pumpkin pie that’s fucked

agreed completely

Jae-ik Barron || C || S73 || Great Falls Grizzlies || Atlanta Inferno
Player Type: Two-Way Forward / Shadow
Birthplace: Seongnam, South Korea
Height: 6'2"
Weight: 201 lbs
Number: 27
Nationality: Canadian / South Korean
------------------------------------------------------------
Transactions:
(S72) Drafted 4th overall by the Great Falls Grizzlies
(S73) Drafted 13th overall by the Atlanta Inferno
------------------------------------------------------------
SMJHL Regular Season Statistics:
S72-S74 (GFG) - 198 GP | 35 G | 99 A | 134 P | -38 | 84 PIM | 254 HIT | 115 SB | 19:24 TOI
------------------------------------------------------------
SMJHL Playoff Statistics:
S72-S74 (GFG) - 19 GP | 6 G | 9 A | 15 P | +1 | 10 PIM | 22 HIT | 12 SB | 20:13 TOI


Adam Barron || D || S50 || Retired
Player Type: Two-Way Defenseman
Birthplace: Bonavista, NL, Canada
Height: 6'2"
Weight: 195 lbs
Number: 27
Peak TPE: 2318
------------------------------------------------------------
SHL Regular Season Statistics:
S52-68 : 1042 GP | 174 G | 466 A | 640 P | +278 | 427 PIM | 1103 HIT | 1743 SB | xx TOI
------------------------------------------------------------
SHL Playoff Statistics:
10 Post-seasons - 94 GP | 26 G | 37 A | 63 P | +5 | 32 PIM | 117 HIT | 159 SB | xx TOI
------------------------------------------------------------
SMJHL Regular Season Statistics:
S49-S51 (HFX) - 150 GP | 12 G | 59 A | 71 P | -8 | 92 PIM | 143 HIT | 157 SB | 19:27 TOI
------------------------------------------------------------
SMJHL Playoff Statistics:
S49-S51 (HFX) - 18 GP | 3 G | 10 A | 13 P | +8 | 10 PIM | 11 HIT | 23 SB | 22:40 TOI
------------------------------------------------------------
Transactions:
(S49) Drafted 18th overall by the Halifax Raiders
(S50) Drafted 1st overall by the Winnipeg Jets
(S57) Traded to the Toronto North Stars
(S63) Traded to the Baltimore Platoon
(S66) Signed with the Atlanta Inferno
(S67) Signed with the San Francisco Pride
(S68) Retired during the Off-season
------------------------------------------------------------
Awards & Accomplishments:
SHL Challenge Cup: winner (S66)
SHL Anton Razov Trophy: nominated (S58)
SHL Ron Mexico Trophy: nominated (S58)
SHL Scott Stevens Trophy: winner (S58)
SHL Aidan Richan Trophy: nominated (S58)
SHL Bojo Biscuit: nominated (S61)
SHL Turd Ferguson: winner (S68)
IIHF: gold (S54, S56, S57, S58), silver (S61, S62), bronze (S55, S63, S64)
IIHF Best Defenseman: winner (S58, S61)
WJC: gold (S51), silver (S50)

| Player Page | | Player Updates |

real talk tho fuck miracle whip

 

cool whip on a sandwich really doesn't seem that bad unless it's like a reuben lmao

KARI KEKKONEN | D | RETIRED
NAME: Kari Kekkonen
BIRTHPLACE: Oulu, Finland
HEIGHT: 6'1"
WEIGHT: 185 lbs
NUMBER: 33
------------------------------------------------------------
SMJHL CAREER STATS
S19 KEL: GP: 40, G: 10, A: 26, P: 36, +/-: 16, H: 42

SMJHL PLAYOFF STATS
S19 KEL: GP: 6, G: 0, A: 6, P: 6, +/-: 0, H: 6
------------------------------------------------------------

KAAPO KEKKONEN | C | RETIRED
NAME: Kaapo Kekkonen
BIRTHPLACE: Helsinki, Finland
HEIGHT: 6'3"
WEIGHT: 210 lbs
NUMBER: 19
------------------------------------------------------------
SHL CAREER STATS
S25 LAP: GP: 50, G: 2, A: 3, P: 5, +/-: -4, H: 75
S26 LAP: GP: 50, G: 4, A: 5, P: 9, +/-: -13, H: 94
S27 LAP: GP: 50, G: 6, A: 9, P: 15, +/-: -2, H: 35
S28 LAP: GP: 50, G: 7, A: 10, P: 17, +/-: -2, H: 96
S29 LAP: GP: 50, G: 13, A: 21, P: 34, +/-: -15, H: 85
S30 LAP: GP: 50, G: 23, A: 22, P: 45, +/-: 4, H: 130
S31 LAP: GP: 50, G: 20, A: 18, P: 38, +/-: 5, H: 162
S32 LAP: GP: 50, G: 18, A: 28, P: 46, +/-: 27, H: 183
S33 LAP: GP: 50, G: 17, A: 22, P: 39, +/-: 20, H: 210
S34 LAP: GP: 50, G: 12, A: 25, P: 37, +/-: -2, H: 131
S35 LAP: GP: 50, G: 10, A: 22, P: 32, +/-: -3, H: 115
S36 LAP: GP: 50, G: 11, A: 20, P: 31, +/-: 10, H: 138
S37 LAP: GP: 36, G: 9, A: 17, P: 26, +/-: -1, H: 72
S37 WKP: GP: 14, G: 1, A: 0, P: 1, +/-: -4, H: 19
TOT : GP: 650, G: 153, A: 222, P: 375, +/-: 20, H: 1545
------------------------------------------------------------
SHL PLAYOFF STATS
S25 LAP: DNQ
S26 LAP: DNQ
S27 LAP: DNQ
S28 LAP: DNQ
S29 LAP: DNQ
S30 LAP: DNQ
S31 LAP: DNQ
S32 LAP: GP: 5, G: 1, A: 3, P: 4, +/-: -2, H: 15
S33 LAP: GP: 12, G: 2, A: 3, P: 5, +/-: 0, H: 38
S34 LAP: GP: 7, G: 1, A: 3, P: 4, +/-: 3, H: 23
S35 LAP: GP: 5, G: 1, A: 1, P: 2, +/-: -4, H: 4
S36 LAP: DNQ
S37 WKP: GP: 12, G: 0, A: 2, P: 2, +/-: -2, H: 35
TOT : GP: 41, G: 5, A: 12, P: 17, +/-: -5, H: 115
------------------------------------------------------------

TATU MÄKELÄ | D | RETIRED
NAME: Tatu Mäkelä
BIRTHPLACE: Tampere, Finland
HEIGHT: 5'11"
WEIGHT: 180 lbs
NUMBER: 65
------------------------------------------------------------
SHL CAREER STATS
S40 BUF: GP: 50, G: 5, A: 17, P: 22, +/-: -28, H: 14, SB: 86
S41 BUF: GP: 50, G: 10, A: 21, P: 31, +/-: -3, H: 9, SB: 78
S42 BUF: GP: 50, G: 9, A: 21, P: 30, +/-: 2, H: 13, SB: 65
S43 BUF: GP: 50, G: 6, A: 24, P: 30, +/-: 1, H: 8, SB: 51
S44 BUF: GP: 50, G: 6, A: 28, P: 34, +/-: -6, H: 10, SB: 63
S45 BUF: GP: 50, G: 4, A: 37, P: 41, +/-: 10, H: 130, SB: 71
S46 BUF: GP: 50, G: 6, A: 36, P: 42, +/-: 25, H: 139, SB: 73
S47 BUF: GP: 50, G: 5, A: 23, P: 28, +/-: -4, H: 137, SB: 76
S48 BUF: GP: 50, G: 7, A: 25, P: 32, +/-: 9, H: 151, SB: 70
S49 BUF: GP: 50, G: 6, A: 22, P: 28, +/-: 5, H: 159, SB: 66
S50 BUF: GP: 50, G: 6, A: 20, P: 26, +/-: 14, H: 152, SB: 72
S51 BUF: GP: 50, G: 3, A: 23, P: 26, +/-: 8, H: 143, SB: 50
S52 BUF: GP: 50, G: 9, A: 21, P: 30, +/-: -3, H: 141, SB: 71
S53 BUF: GP: 50, G: 5, A: 14, P: 19, +/-: 23, H: 50, SB: 98
TOT : GP: 700, G: 87, A: 332, P: 419, +/-: 53, H: 1256, SB: 990
------------------------------------------------------------
SHL PLAYOFF STATS
S40 BUF: DNQ
S41 BUF: GP: 7, G: 3, A: 2, P: 5, +/-: -3, H: 0, SB: 10
S42 BUF: GP: 5, G: 0, A: 1, P: 1, +/-: -9, H: 2, SB: 10
S43 BUF: GP: 9, G: 0, A: 5, P: 5, +/-: -1, H: 1, SB: 8
S44 BUF: DNQ
S45 BUF: DNQ
S46 BUF: GP: 17, G: 0, A: 12, P: 12, +/-: 11, H: 59, SB: 28
S47 BUF: GP: 13, G: 0, A: 5, P: 5, +/-: 2, H: 32, SB: 18
S48 BUF: GP: 22, G: 2, A: 10, P: 12, +/-: 2, H: 64, SB: 32
S49 BUF: GP: 5, G: 0, A: 5, P: 5, +/-: 5, H: 15, SB: 8
S50 BUF: GP: 6, G: 0, A: 5, P: 5, +/-: -2, H: 18, SB: 12
S51 BUF: GP: 8, G: 2, A: 5, P: 7, +/-: -3, H: 15, SB: 11
S52 BUF: GP: 15, G: 4, A: 5, P: 9, +/-: 4, H: 47, SB: 26
S53 BUF: GP: 4, G: 0, A: 0, P: 0, +/-: 0, H: 6, SB: 13
TOT : GP: 111, G: 11, A: 55, P: 66, +/-: 6, H: 159, SB: 176
------------------------------------------------------------

KOLJA KEKKONEN | D | RETIRED
NAME: Kolja Kekkonen
BIRTHPLACE: Lappeenranta, Finland
HEIGHT: 6'3"
WEIGHT: 225 lbs
NUMBER: 8
------------------------------------------------------------
SMJHL CAREER STATS
S53 DET: GP: 3, G: 0, A: 1, P: 1, +/-: -1, H: 2, SB: 0
S54 DET: GP: 50, G: 2, A: 8, P: 10, +/-: -6, H: 15, SB: 37
S55 DET: GP: 50, G: 4, A: 12, P: 16, +/-: -24, H: 32, SB: 24
S56 DET: GP: 50, G: 4, A: 17, P: 21, +/-: -20, H: 52, SB: 71
S57 ANA: GP: 66, G: 6, A: 20, P: 26, +/-: 14, H: 52, SB: 70
TOT : GP: 219, G: 16, A: 58, P: 74, +/-: -37, H: 153, SB: 202
SMJHL PLAYOFF STATS
S53 DET: DNP
S54 DET: GP: 7, G: 0, A: 0, P: 0, +/-: 0, H: 2, SB: 3
S55 DET: GP: 4, G: 0, A: 1, P: 1, +/-: -2, H: 3, SB: 0
S56 DET: GP: 5, G: 2, A: 2, P: 4, +/-: 0, H: 3, SB: 7
S57 ANA: GP: 21, G: 2, A: 13, P: 15, +/-: 5, H: 13, SB: 34
TOT : GP: 37, G: 4, A: 16, P: 20, +/-: 3, H: 22, SB: 44
------------------------------------------------------------

KEKW KEKKONEN | C | RETIRED
NAME: Karl-Erik-Karl2-Wojtek Kekkonen
BIRTHPLACE: Lohja, Finland
HEIGHT: 6'4"
WEIGHT: 220 lbs
NUMBER: 69
------------------------------------------------------------
SHL CAREER STATS
S61 BUF: GP: 66, G: 10, A: 28, P: 38, +/-: 21, H: 59, SH: 134
S62 BUF: GP: 66, G: 19, A: 36, P: 55, +/-: 9, H: 84, SH: 194
S63 BUF: GP: 66, G: 17, A: 14, P: 31, +/-: -13, H: 91, SH: 148
S64 BUF: GP: 66, G: 16, A: 51, P: 67, +/-: 36, H: 82, SH: 212
S65 BUF: GP: 66, G: 25, A: 41, P: 66, +/-: 33, H: 136, SH: 230
S66 BUF: GP: 66, G: 38, A: 43, P: 81, +/-: 18, H: 64, SH: 222
S67 BUF: GP: 66, G: 40, A: 45, P: 85, +/-: -6, H: 76, SH: 224
S68 BUF: GP: 66, G: 47, A: 46, P: 93, +/-: 45, H: 51, SH: 326
S69 BUF: GP: 66, G: 35, A: 31, P: 66, +/-: 22, H: 43, SH: 269
S70 BUF: GP: 66, G: 33, A: 48, P: 81, +/-: 18, H: 66, SH: 297
S71 BUF: GP: 66, G: 36, A: 41, P: 77, +/-: 37, H: 55, SH: 257
S72 BUF: GP: 66, G: 25, A: 35, P: 60, +/-: -1, H: 58, SH: 281
S73 BUF: GP: 66, G: 31, A: 41, P: 72, +/-: 23, H: 48, SH: 305
S74 BUF/WPG: GP: 66, G: 17, A: 47, P: 64, +/-: 33, H: 101, SH: 164
TOT : GP: 924, G: 389, A: 547, P: 936, +/-: 275, H: 1014, SH: 3263
SHL PLAYOFF STATS
S61 BUF: GP: 9, G: 2, A: 6, P: 8, +/-: 4, H: 11, SH: 24
S62 BUF: GP: 9, G: 3, A: 1, P: 4, +/-: 2, H: 5, SH: 25
S63 BUF: GP: 12, G: 1, A: 2, P: 3, +/-: -1, H: 32, SH: 33
S64 BUF: GP: 11, G: 2, A: 2, P: 4, +/-: -6, H: 12, SH: 41
S65 BUF: GP: 18, G: 4, A: 7, P: 11, +/-: 8, H: 34, SH: 62
S66 BUF: GP: 16, G: 11, A: 9, P: 20, +/-: 3, H: 13, SH: 49
S67 BUF: GP: 4, G: 2, A: 2, P: 4, +/-: -3, H: 3, SH: 20
S68 BUF: GP: 17, G: 6, A: 8, P: 14, +/-: -4, H: 11, SH: 75
S69 BUF: GP: 4, G: 1, A: 0, P: 1, +/-: -5, H: 2, SH: 13
S70 BUF: GP: 7, G: 1, A: 3, P: 4, +/-: -8, H: 2, SH: 25
S71 BUF: GP: 21, G: 12, A: 9, P: 21, +/-: 6, H: 24, SH: 97
S72 BUF: GP: 5, G: 0, A: 2, P: 2, +/-: -4, H: 7, SH: 25
S73 BUF: GP: 6, G: 3, A: 0, P: 3, +/-: -3, H: 11, SH: 33
S74 WPG: GP: 22, G: 3, A: 4, P: 7, +/-: -2, H: 15, SH: 37
TOT : GP: 161, G: 51, A: 55, P: 106, +/-: -11, H: 182, SH: 559
------------------------------------------------------------

KAL ÅKAR KEKKONEN | D | DETROIT FALCONS
NAME: Kal Åkar Kekkonen
BIRTHPLACE: The Wilderness, Gielinor
HEIGHT: 6'6"
WEIGHT: 240 lbs
NUMBER: 75
------------------------------------------------------------
SMJHL CAREER STATS
S74 DET: GP: 66, G: 6, A: 14, P: 20, +/-: 3, SH: 83, H: 76, SB: 29
S75 DET: GP: 66, G: 8, A: 22, P: 30, +/-: 31, SH: 129, H: 123, SB: 114

SMJHL PLAYOFF STATS
S74 DET: GP: 17, G: 3, A: 7, P: 10, +/-: 8, SH: 18, H: 16, SB: 5
S75 DET: GP: 14, G: 5, A: 6, P: 11, +/-: 2, SH: 40, H: 26, SB: 27
------------------------------------------------------------

I'm allergic to cool whip and I don't like pumpkin pie OR mayo. This is horrid.

Gross or gonna maybe kill me. Hard pass.

M'Baku Olubori || #81 || RW

Drafted 4th overall in S64 SMJHL Draft by Regina

Drafted 95th overall in S65 SHL Draft by Baltimore

Won S68 Ryan Jesster Trophy (Rookie of the Year)

Cassius Darrow || #81 || RD
-------------------------------------------
SMJHL Stats:
S44 - S46 || COL  || GP: 150 || G: 15 || A: 85 || P: 100 || +/-: +1 || SB: 195
S47 - S55 || BUF  || GP: X || G: X || A: X || P: X || +/-: X || SB: X
S56 - S63 || SEA  || GP: 0 || G: 0 || A: 0 || P: 0 || +/-: 0 || SB: 0
-------------------------------------------
Drafted 8th overall in S44 SMJHL Draft to Colorado
Co-Winner of S44 Zach Miller Trophy
Drafted 4th overall in S45 SHL Draft to Buffalo
Named S45 & S46 Captain of the Colorado Raptors
3-time Challenge Cup Champion (S46, S48, S55)
Named Assistant Captain of Buffalo Stampede S53-S55
Drafted 1st overall S56 Expansion Draft by Seattle
Named Captain of the Seattle Argonauts in S56
Bojo Biscuit Winner S57, S58

Baltimore Platoon GM || S64 - present

SHL Executioner || S62 - S65
SHL Awards Committee || S57 - S66
SHL Historian Committee || S53 - S64
SHL Head Office || S60 - S61
SMJHL Awards Head || S48 - S57
Colorado Raptors GM || S48 - S53
Colorado Raptors Co-GM || S47
Team Germany Federation Head || S44 - S46
SMJHL HO Member - S45-S46
SMJHL Head Office Intern - S44 

---

Thank you karey, OrbitingDeath Ragnar, and sköldpaddor for sigs! 

This isn’t an answer to the question but if you mix cool whip like 3:1 with peanut butter and then dip apple slices in it it’s life-altering.

Gunnar Söderberg || IIHF Fed Head - Sweden || GM - Nevada Battleborn
------------------------------------------------------------
Highlights:
S45 WJC | Sweden - Bronze
S46 SMJHL | Drafted 5th OA - Kelowna Knights
S47 SHL | Drafted 2nd OA - Tampa Bay
S47 SMJHL | Captain - Kelowna Knights
S48 SMJHL | Captain - Kelowna Knights
S48 IIHF | Gold - Sweden
S49 SHL All-Rookie Team
S52 IIHF | Silver - Sweden
S56 IIHF | Bronze - Sweden
S57 Challenge Cup - Chicago Syndicate
S57 Anton Razov Award (Playoffs MVP)
S60 IIHF | Bronze - Sweden
S60 SHL | Captain - Chicago Syndicate
S61 SHL | Captain - Chicago Syndicate
S62 SHL | Captain - Chicago Syndicate
S66 SMJHL | Nour Harrak Award (Best GM Duo)

Lias Ekholm-Gunnarsson || C || Winnipeg Aurora
------------------------------------------------------------
Highlights:
S62 SMJHL | Drafted 26 OA - Nevada Battleborn
S63 SHL | Drafted 1 OA - Winnipeg Aurora
S63 SMJHL | All-Star
S65 SMJHL | All-Star
S67 IIHF | Top Forward
S68 IIHF | Gold - Sweden
S69 IIHF | Silver - Sweden
S70 SHL | All-Star
S70 SHL | Aidan Richan Award
S70 IIHF | Silver - Sweden
S71 SHL | All-Star
S71 SHL | Sergei Karpotsov Trophy
S71 SHL | Jay McDonald Trophy
S71 SHL | Sarmad Khan Award
S72 SHL | Challenge Cup - Winnipeg Aurora
S72 SHL | All-Star
S72 IIHF | Bronze - Sweden
S72 SHL | Anton Razov Award
S73 IIHF | Gold - Sweden
S75 IIHF | Gold - Sweden




. : : .

This isn’t an answer to the question but if you mix cool whip like 3:1 with peanut butter and then dip apple slices in it it’s life-altering.

ya running ur hand thru a wood chipper pretty life-altering too I ain't trying it doe

 
Steve Harrington | LW | Chicago Syndicate
// CHICAGO SYNDICATE //
S75 SHL75: #45 Steve Harrington
S75 Traded to CHI
===================================
// TAMPA BAY BARRACUDA //
S74 Traded to TBB
===================================
// TORONTO NORTH STARS //
S73 Signed with TOR in Free Agency
===================================
// BUFFALO STAMPEDE //
S71 Challenge Cup
S71-S72 Alternate Captain
S64 All-SHL 3rd Team
S62 All-SHL 1st Team
S62 Ron Mexico Nominee
S61 All-SHL 2nd Team
S60 Challenge Cup
S60 Helping Hand - The Maples
S56 All-Rookie Team S56 Ryan Jesster Nominee
S53 SHL Draft 3rd Overall
===================================
// NEWFOUNDLAND BERSERKERS //
S55 Brodie Witzel Nominee
S55 Four Star Cup
S55 Co-Captain
S52-S54 Alternate Captain
S52 SMJHL Draft 4th Overall
===================================
// DEUTSCHLAND //
S72 Gold Medal
S70 Gold Medal
S58 Bronze Medal
S57 Bronze Medal

===================================
// SHL //
S64 Damian Littleton (Trading Cards Team)

Also as a side note: once you consume real whipped cream, you'll fucking hate the canned stuff

Jøln DuBølk || D || Lethbridge Lions

Drafted 39th Overall in the S45 SMJHL Entry Draft

Drafted 24th Overall in the S46 SHL Entry Draft

19 G/67 A/86 P

S48 Four Star Cup Champion

S48 IIHF - Gold Medal

S49 All Rookie Team

S52 IIHF - Silver Medal

S54 Challenge Cup Champion

     

This isn’t an answer to the question but if you mix cool whip like 3:1 with peanut butter and then dip apple slices in it it’s life-altering.

Well I know my plans tonight

      


"Fearless" Phillip Weaver - Goalie - Nevada Battleborn - 623 TPE
-----------------------------------------------------------------
Name: Phillip Weaver
Birthplace: Canada
Height: 6'
Weight: 195 lbs
Jersey Number: 42
-----------------------------------------------------------------
Career Statistics:
Regular Season:
S55 - SMJHL - Nevada Battleborn - 38 GP - 8 Wins - 1 Shutout - 4.13 GAA - .902 SV%
S56 - SMJHL - Nevada Battleborn - 25 GP - 13 Wins - 1 Shutout - 2.98 GAA - .911 SV%
S57 - SMJHL - Nevada Battleborn - 30 GP - 14 Wins - 4 Shutouts - 2.89 GAA - .911 SV%
Playoffs:
S55 - SMJHL - Nevada Battleborn - 2 GP - 0 Wins - 0 Shutouts - 5.69 GAA - .864 SV%
S56 - SMJHL - Nevada Battleborn - 2 GP - 1 Wins - 0 Shutouts - 2.89 GAA - .919 SV%
-----------------------------------------------------------------
Transactions:
S55 SMJHL Entry Draft - 1st Round - 9th Overall - Nevada Battleborn
S56 SHL Entry Draft - 1st Round - 17th Overall - Tampa Bay Barracuda
S55 Canadian WJC Team

I can't say "Cool Whip" in my head without hearing it how Stewie says it on Family Guy.

Coooool Whhkiiip

Eric Hudson | LW | #13 | St Louis Scarecrows | Texas Renegades | 1937 TPE (Peak)

Birthplace: Charlotte, NC, USA

-------------------------------------------------------------------

Career Highlights:

Drafted 35th overall in S52 SMJHL Draft by St. Louis Scarecrows

S52 Four Star Cup Finals (Lost to ANA in 5)

Drafted 21st overall (2nd Round) by Texas Renegades in S53 SHL Draft

Named to S54 SJHML All-Star Team

First Career Hat Trick - S54 Game 22 vs Anchorage

100th SHL Point - S58 Game 33 vs Seattle

Member of Team Prospects North America - S51 WJC, Team Captain

Member of Team USA WJC Team - S52, S53, S54, S55. 

Member of Team USA IIHF Team - S55, S56, S57, S58, S59, S60, S61, S62, S63 

Team USA Assistant Captain, S63

----------------------------------------------------------------------

SMJHL/SHL Stats:

SEA |Team| GP | G | A | +/- |  S  | SB | HIT | PIM | Min/Game |

S52 |  STL  | 50  | 7 | 5  | +2 | 47 |  6  |  21  |  10  |  10:16  |

S53 |  STL  | 50  | 7 | 16| +9 | 47 | 58 | 17   | 22   |  12:02  |

S54 |  STL  | 50  | 9 | 24| +17| 80 | 104| 19 | 6     |  17:16  |
S55 |  STL  | 50  | 4 | 9  | -11 | 60 | 103| 29 | 10   |   17:41  |

S56 |  TEX  | 50  | 7 | 18| +4  | 93 | 64  | 12 | 16   |  18:26  |   

S57 |  TEX  | 66  | 12| 30| +19| 131| 92 | 34 | 23  |   17:39  |

S58 |  TEX  | 66  | 18| 39| +35| 187| 74 | 49 | 10  |  19:12  | 

S59 |  TEX  | 66  | 16| 32| +45| 175| 98 | 68 | 20  |  18:57  |  

S60 |  TEX  | 66  | 11| 29| +24| 167| 91 | 64 | 12  |  20:05 |

S61 |  TEX  | 66  | 18| 33| +26| 156| 92 | 60 | 12  |  20:08 |

S62 |  TEX  | 66  | 17| 36| +33| 200| 74 | 56 | 17  |  20:30 |

----------------------------------------------------------------------

SMJHL/SHL Playoff Stats:

SEA |Team| GP | G | A | +/- |  S  | SB | HIT | PIM | Min/Game |

S52 |  STL  | 17  | 2 |  4 | +9 | 30 |  1  |  13  |  10  |  11:39  |

S53 |  STL  | 14  | 1 | 2  | -4  | 14 | 28 |   1   |  0    |  16:20  |

S54 |  STL  | 7    | 0 |  1 | -2  | 10 | 19 |  4    |  0    |  18:42  |

S55 |  STL  | 4    | 1 |  1 | -1  | 5  |  5  |   4   |  0    |  18:34  |  

S56 |  TEX  | 4    | 0 | 1  | -1  | 5  |  4  |   2   |   2   |  18:46  |

S57 |  TEX  | 5   |  1 | 1  | -4  | 13|  5  |   5   |  0    |  16:46  |

S58 |  TEX  | 12 |  4 | 4  | +4 | 28| 16 |  11  |  0    |  20:38  |

S59 |  TEX  | 16 |  6 | 11| +12| 43| 25|  29  |   2    | 20:34   |

----------------------------------------------------------------------

IIHF Stats

   TOUR      |    Team    | GP | G | A | +/- | S  | SB | HIT | PIM | Min/Game |

S51 WJC       | ProsNA | 18  | 3 | 5  | -13 | 43| 2  |  21 |  10 | 17:30 | 

S51 WJCMR | ProsNA |   2  | 0  | 1 |  +0 | 4   | 0  |   4  |   2  | 17:37 |

S52 WJC       |  USA     | 14  | 1 | 3  | +0  | 7  | 5  | 18   | 12  | 12:35 |

S52 WJCMR |  USA     | 1    | 0  | 0 | +0  | 0  | 0   | 0    |  0   | 13:01 |  

S53 WJC       |  USA      | 14   | 3  | 7  | +6  | 17 | 12  | 10  |  0    | 13:35  |

S53 WJCMR | USA     | 2   | 0  | 2 | -1  | 3  |  1   |  0    |   2   | 14:11   |

S54 WJC       |  USA     | 19    | 1  | 3  | -9   | 12 | 38   |   8   |  4    | 18:00  | 

S54 WJCMR | USA    | 3   | 1   | 1  | 4  | +5   |  7  |  2    |   0   |  18:54  |

S55 WJC     | USA     | 19   | 1  | 5  |  +3  | 28| 29   |  14  |  2   | 16:05 |
S55 WJCMR | USA  | 1  | 0  | 0  | 0  | 0  | 2  |  1   |   0    | 18:05 |
S55 IIHF     | USA    |  19   | 1  | 7  |  +5 | 19 |  7    |  7    |  8:00 |
S55 IIHFMR | USA  | 1  | 0  | 0  | -1 | 2  | 2  |  0   |   0   | 8:58 |
S56 IIHF     | USA    |  19  | 3   | 3  | +2 | 10  |  3   |  0    | 9:14
S56 IIHFMR | USA  | 1  | 0  | 0  | 0 | 0   | 0  |  0   |   0   | 6:41  |
  

----------------------------------------------------------------------

Trophy Case

S52 Oriens Trophy - Four Star Cup Finals

S53 Aron Hernadivic Award Winner (STL - Most Active)

S54 SJHML All-Star Game - East

S54 Ron Bolt Award Winner (SJHML - Most Sportsmanlike)

S54 Brandon Holmes Award Winner (SJHML - Top Defensive Forward)

S54 World Junior Championships Gold Medal

S54 Mika Kandinsky Award Winner (STL - Best Two-Way Forward)

S55 Mika Kandinsky Award Winner (STL - Best Two-Way Forward)

S58 Presidents Trophy

S59 Western Conference Champions

S59 Challenge Cup Champions

S61 Western Conference Champions

S62 Western Conference Champions

S62 Challenge Cup Champions

S63 IIHF Gold Medal

S63 Jeff Dar Award (SHL - Best Two-way Forward)

[pbl]----------------------------------------------------------------------

Contracts

S52 1yr 4.5 million with St. Louis

S53 2yr 7 million (4m, 3m) with Texas

S54 3yr 11 million (3m, 4m, 4m,) extension with Texas through S57

S57 2yr 8 million (4m, 4m) extension with Texas through S59

S59 3yr 15 million (5m,5m,5m) extension with Texas through S62

Co-GM St. Louis Scarecrows - S54 to S57 
Regular Season Records

S54 - 26-23-1 (3rd in East, 5th Overall)

S55 - 18-28-4 (4th in East, 9th Overall)

S56 - 18-29-3 (5th in East, 10th Overall)

S57 - 25-36-5 (5th in East, 9th Overall) *Switch to 66 game season

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Playoff Results

S54 - Lost in First Round against Carolina (4-3)

S55 - Lost in First Round against Vancouver (4-0)

S56 - Lost in First Round against Maine (4-3)

S57 - Won First round series vs Kelowna (4-3), Lost in Second round against Anchorage (3-1-1)

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Awards

i chuckled at this question. have my upvote /s im not upvoting

CURRENT PLAYER

Thomas Sawschuk || C || Nevada Battleborn
Birthplace: Oshawa, Canada
Jersey Number: 9
Height: 6ft 2in || Weight: 190 lbs


         

FORMER PLAYER

"Captain" Jean-Paul Boivin || LW || Edmonton Blizzards
Name: Jean-Paul "The Boi" Boivin
TPE: 1454
Age: 26
Birthplace: Toronto, Canada
Height: 6'3"
Weight: 200 lbs
Number: 67
|| Accomplishments || 
S48 SMJHL Four Star Cup
S49 23rd pick in SHL Draft to Edmonton
S49 SHL Champions Cup
S50 WJC Silver Canada
S51 WJC Gold Canada
S56 IIHF Gold
100 Hits Club: S49, S50, S51

Authorized Bash Brother
|| Captaincy || 
WJC Canada  A. Captain: S49
WJC Canada Captain: S51
Vancouver Whalers  A. Captain: S49

Vancouver Whalers Captain: S50, S51 
Edmonton Blizzard Visiting A. Captain: S53, S54, S55
Edmonton Blizzard Captain: S56 

This isn’t an answer to the question but if you mix cool whip like 3:1 with peanut butter and then dip apple slices in it it’s life-altering.

ya running ur hand thru a wood chipper pretty life-altering too I ain't trying it doe

deceased

Sigs by Me, Merica, High Stick King, Rum_Ham, Jess, vulfzilla, enigmatic, and Carpy

 

Brian Morley | LAP | S30 Hall of Fame | Buffalo Stampede Co-GM
———————————
CAREER AWARDS/ACCOMPLISHMENTS:
1x Challenge Cup (S17)
2x 1st All-Star Team (S22, S24)
1x 2nd All-Star Team (S23)
1x Sergei Karpotsov Trophy (S22)
2x Jay McDonald Trophy (S22, S24)
2x Damian Littleton Nominee (S21)
2x Ron Mexico Nominee (S22, S23)
2x Jeff Dar Nominee (S23, S24)
First, second and fifth most goals in a season in the 52 game era
Second most points in a season in the 52 game era
Second most goals by a player in Los Angeles Panthers franchise history
Second most points by a player in Los Angeles Panthers franchise history
Most goals, assists and points by a player drafted in S14
———————————
CAREER STATS:
758 GP:  265 Goals, 328 Assists, 593 Points

Chimkin Wing | Right Wing | Retired Beef Cake
Jersey Number: 35
Height: 6ft 8in
Weight: 225 lbs
Birthplace: Zrenjanin, Serbia
———————————
Signed as a free agent in S55 with the Anchorage Armada
Drafted 47th overall in the S56 SHL draft by the Buffalo Stampede
———————————
SMJHL REGULAR SEASON STATS:
S55: GP: 10 | W: 5 | L: 4 | OTL: 0 | GAA: 2.31 | SV%: .910 | SO: 1
S56: GP: 26 | W: 12 L: 8 | OTL: 3 | GAA: 2.59 | SV%: .893 | SO: 2
S57: GP: 53 | W: 33 L: 12 | OTL: 7 | GAA: 2.02 | SV%: .920 | SO: 8
S58: GP: 51 | W: 27 L: 22 | OTL: 2 | GAA: 2.11 | SV%: .927 | SO: 8
SMJHL PLAYOFF STATS:
S57: GP: 16 | W: 12 L: 3 | OTL: 1 | GAA: 1.86 | SV%: .926 | SO: 1
S58: GP: 21 | W: 13 L: 7 | OTL: 1 | GAA: 2.56 | SV%: .906 | SO: 0
———————————
SHL REGULAR SEASON STATS:
S58: GP: 3 | W: 2 | L: 0 | OTL: 1 | GAA: 1.95 | SV%: .880 | SO: 1
S59: GP: 66 | G: 8 | A: 26 | P: 34 | +/-: 38 | PIM: 16
S60: GP: 66 | G: 19 | A: 23 | P: 42 | +/-: 32 | PIM: 12
S61: GP: 66 | G: 11 | A: 31 | P: 42 | +/-: 36 | PIM: 38
S62: GP: 66 | G: 4 | A: 38 | P: 42 | +/-: 34 | PIM: 12
S63: GP: 66 | G: 6 | A: 28 | P: 34 | +/-: 7 | PIM: 19
S64: GP: 66 | G: 36 | A: 54 | P: 90 | +/-: 44 | PIM: 16
S65: GP: 66 | G: 44 | A: 41 | P: 85 | +/-: 18 | PIM: 18
S66: GP: 66 | G: 27 | A: 54 | P: 81 | +/-: 12 | PIM: 34
S67: GP: 66 | G: 20 | A: 55 | P: 75 | +/-: -10 | PIM: 44
S68: GP: 66 | G: 33 | A: 57 | P: 90 | +/-: 32 | PIM: 20
S69: GP: 66 | G: 32 | A: 59 | P: 91 | +/-: 31 | PIM: 34
S70: GP: 66 | G: 12 | A: 64 | P: 76 | +/-: 31 | PIM: 26
S71: GP: 66 | G: 23 | A: 38 | P: 61 | +/-: 22 | PIM: 26
S72: GP: 66 | G: 22 | A: 33 | P: 55 | +/-: 0 | PIM: 34
S73: GP: 66 | G: 17 | A: 39 | P: 56 | +/-: 21 | PIM: 20
S74: GP: 66 | G: 29 | A: 38 | P: 67 | +/-: 28 | PIM: 20
TOT: GP: 1056 | G: 343 | A: 678 | P: 1021 | +/-: 376 | PIM: 389
SHL PLAYOFF STATS:
S59: GP: 19 | G: 2 | A: 7 | P: 9 | +/-: -2 | PIM: 4
S60: GP: 22 | G: 6 | A: 15 | P: 21 | +/-: 12 | PIM: 4
S61: GP: 9 | G: 1 | A: 5 | P: 6 | +/-: 7 | PIM: 2
S62: GP: 9 | G: 2 | A: 3 | P: 5 | +/-: 3 | PIM: 2
S63: GP: 12 | G: 1 | A: 4 | P: 5 | +/-: 2 | PIM: 0
S64: GP: 11 | G: 4 | A: 8 | P: 12 | +/-: 2 | PIM: 2
S65: GP: 18 | G: 12 | A: 14 | P: 26 | +/-: 12 | PIM: 0
S66: GP: 16 | G: 4 | A: 9 | P: 13 | +/-: -2 | PIM: 2
S67: GP: 4 | G: 1 | A: 2 | P: 3 | +/-: -2 | PIM: 0
S68: GP: 17 | G: 10 | A: 17 | P: 27 | +/-: 6 | PIM: 10
S69: GP: 4 | G: 1 | A: 4 | P: 5 | +/-: -5 | PIM: 2
S70: GP: 7 | G: 2 | A: 1 | P: 3 | +/-: -2 | PIM: 2
S71: GP: 21 | G: 7 | A: 17 | P: 24 | +/-: 6 | PIM: 4
S72: GP: 5 | G: 0 | A: 1 | P: 1 | +/-: -4 | PIM: 0
S73: GP: 6 | G: 1 | A: 6 | P: 6 | +/-: 0 | PIM: 2
S74: GP: 9 | G: 0 | A: 2 | P: 2 | +/-: -3 | PIM: 4
TOT: GP: 189 | G: 54 | A: 114 | P: 168 | +/-: 34 | PIM: 40
———————————
AWARDS AND ACCOLADES:
S55 Matt Lewis-Flood Trophy
S57 Four Star Cup Champion
S57 SMJHL Second All Star Team
S57 Brodie Witzel Trophy - Playoffs MVP
S58 SMJHL First All Star Team
S58 Matt Lewis-Flood Trophy
S58 Cedric Robinson Trophy - Best Goalie
S60 Challenge Cup Champion
S64 Named Buffalo Stampede Captain
S64 Aidan Richan Award
S69 SHL All Star
S71 Challenge Cup Champion

Ongo Gablogian, the art collector | RD | Carolina Kraken
---------------------------------------------
Charmed, I'm sure
---------------------------------------------
Jersey Number: 0
Height: 4 ft 10in
Weight: 290 lbs
Birthplace: Philadelphia, Pennsylvania
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Drafted 8th overall by the Carolina Kraken in S74
Drafted 39th overall by the Buffalo Stampede in S75
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REGULAR SEASON STATS
S74: GP: 66 | G: 3 | A: 22 | P: 25 | +/-: -16 | PIM: 32 | HITS: 109
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PLAYOFF STATS
S74: DNQ
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AWARDS AND ACCOLADES
Fuckin' nothing so far. Or probably ever.

❤!! RIP to the big homies 701 and Mac !!❤