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Seymour · 02-10-2021, 07:12 PM

With Valentines day fast approaching, love is in the air and Cupid is in the Anchorage locker-room. In this deep-dive, I will be pairing up the players in Anchorage with matches that I think will result in a long-lasting partnership.

Gregory Goode – For Gregory, this valentine he will be getting some heat resistant cream. After coming off a hot rookie season, going first overall in the Simulation Hockey League’s draft, and winning rookie of the year. Gregory has been on fire and to protect those golden mitts, we must make sure his hot hands stay that way while protecting his future. @Keenan

Chimkin Tendy – For Chimkin, we are going to get him a sponsorship with Jane’s chicken. This sponsorship will ensure that Chimkin will never run out tendy fuel. The match between Jane’s chicken and Chimkin was a long time coming. But after last season’s run, bringing Anchorage through a rough QCC matchup, and securing the 4-star cup for his team and the city of Anchorage, Jane's chicken felt it was time. @Ragnar

David S Pumpkins – For David, we have matched him with the viral sensation known as Pumpkin man. (please see below GIF) The pumpkin man is known for his dancing so this match will help David become more agile when he is on the ice. The agility and balance that David will again from this partnership will bring David to the next level. @Rev

[Image: bH2xdDH.gif]

Alimony Tony – we think it is best that Alimony Tony does not get matched with anyone due to his history of paying alimony. Also, the legal team at Anchorage advised to not comment on a possible partnership. This is all that we will be commenting on this situation. Thank you. @ShnarlyDude

Paul Binder – With Binder as a last name, the perfect match was written in the stars. We are matching Paul with Leslie Knope from the hit show “Parks and Recreation”. Leslie is knowing to have everything in order and having no loose ends. Leslie loves writing lists and lists can be perfectly organized in a binder. We believe that this match is a hit out of the park. @CaptainCamel

Slava Petrov – the matcher in this situation reached out to get a hold of Slava before anyone else could steal his heart. This valentine we are matching Slava with Adidas. Adidas and Russians have a long lasting relationship that has gone on for decades. So adidas wanted to steal Slava’s hear with a lifetime supply of black and white adidas attire. @ckroyal92

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Ethan Bravo – this is one of riskier matches but there were not many options that aligned with Ethan. But one matcher was bigger, stronger, and beefier than the rest. This valentine we are matching Ethan Bravo with Johnny Bravo. This match will help Ethan bulk up for the upcoming season. Johnny Bravo will also be able to help Ethan out with his style. Johnny is known for this hairsprayed to death blonde hair and we hope that Ethan will do the same. With a mountain of hair on Ethan’s head it will help him save
more pucks by just being bigger and wider. @Greenert11

This is all we have for this valentine’s day – if you were not included on the list there is probably a good reason for that.

[540 words]

***Ragnar*** · 02-10-2021, 07:41 PM

Love me some tendies.

Sigs by Me, Merica, High Stick King, Rum_Ham, Jess, vulfzilla, enigmatic, and Carpy

❤!! RIP to the big homies 701 and Mac !!❤

***Gwdjohnson*** · 02-11-2021, 04:29 AM

02-10-2021, 07:12 PMSeymourSnatches Wrote: With Valentines day fast approaching, love is in the air and Cupid is in the Anchorage locker-room. In this deep-dive media article, I will be pairing up the players in Anchorage with matches that I think will result in a long-lasting partnership.

FTFY KEKW

Memento Mori · 02-11-2021, 05:48 AM

Jay Sink: forever alone.

[Image: Pepehands-Article.png]

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