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***retuperkele*** · 03-01-2021, 04:20 AM

After the Simulation Hockey League got picked up by FOX, the network heads decided that regular hockey was not good enough for their viewers. In a day-long meeting with the executive- and creative heads of the network, FOX decided to pick it up a notch and introduce Power Rangers vibes to the sport. Players will not control a giant robot, one of three based on their position. All three ice rangers have a special ability built in them. Goalies now have the ability to shutdown a small portion of the goal completely, defenders have the ability to cause some serious damage with their superchecking ability. Forwards have a special button on their stick which amplifies their shot, whether its wristshot, snapshot or a slapshot, the button has three switches for all the shot types. Deflecting is not affected by the button. All games will now partake on ice rinks as big as 10 american football stadions, and all spectators will be given binoculars in order for them to be able to see the action better. Maintenance budget has been updated by 20,000% in order for the sport to be able to continue if successful for the consumers.

Henrik · 03-01-2021, 05:01 AM

Well, first of all I would like to take this opportunity to add lots of futuristic elements to the game. Most of them should make zero sense and add nothing to the game other than a sense of strangeness, as is tradition. I would begin with making the protective equipment a little bulkier, mainly around the shoulders, in order to make the silhouettes seem a little less human. I would move to might tighter uniforms, preferably of some kind of fancy stretch material. Next I would add spikes. Spikes to the sticks, spikes to the side of the rink, spikes on the skates. Spikes everywhere. I would also like to see a few ice trampolines, giving players the ability not only go through the defence, but also over them. Maybe add some laser pointers to the helmets. I think that would really help to create that futuristic early 90's feel that adds absolutely nothing to the game but makes it look odd. Maybe double the size of the rink and bend it into a semi doughnut. Adding a third team of bruisers that are only on the ice to create chaos and destroy anything that moves is also way overdue in hockey I think, so I would definitely add that. Maybe with sticks shaped like axes. Finally, I think adding a holographic interface to the inside of the visors and a com-system to the helmet would seal the deal.

I would call it, Kill hockey.

dankoa · 03-01-2021, 05:21 AM

The rinks that the SHL uses are now going to be balanced on a large ball in order to make the play more exciting. This means that the rink will not be balanced, and will tip depending on where the players are positioned on the ice. It will make scoring goals a lot harder and the results of play will be a lot more unpredictable than the fans are typically used to when watching the games. The ice will no longer be white also, it will have different coloured flashing neon lights underneath which will ne used to try and throw the players off their game a little bit and make for a cooler viewing experience for the fans. Additionally, the puck that the SHL uses will change colour from the traditional black, and will change on a season to season basis. This season will see the league use a very nice hot pink colour for example. It's hoped that these changes will give rise to an increased amount of interest and unpredictability in the league and help to try and make sure that the league doesn't lose any of its viewership in the upcoming seasons.

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***_Blitz_*** · 03-01-2021, 05:44 AM

Looking at TPE comparisons between the SHL and NHL, I'm not sure how "second fiddle" we'd actually be. While there are players in the NHL with skills higher than the cap in the SHL will allow (McDavid, Doughty, and Kucherov are the ones I can recall off the top of my head), there are more 1800 to 2000 TPE range players in the SHL than the NHL.

But that's not the point task. The main changes I'd make would be in rink dimensions. For reference, the NHL uses a 200 foot by 85 foot rink. Each team's zone is 64 feet long, with 11 feet behind the goal. The neutral zone is 50 feet wide. Each face off circle is 30 feet in diameter.

I propose 112 foot by 85 foot rinks. Each team's zone and the neutral zone becomes 30 feet long. Keep the 11 foot space behind the net. It should look something like this.

Ideally, we can also get rid of icing and offsides rules as well.

The main objective in this change is making a faster, more physical game. Hockey is already a fast sport on 200 feet, almost halving that space is going to force the game to be faster. Smaller play techniques also matter more; passes don't have to be as long, but turnovers get into your zone faster. Hits derail play a little more. Goalies are going to get shelled, but more goals is considered more entertaining for live audiences. Getting rid of offsides and icing also means that play stops less frequently.

With these changes, SHL hockey would become a fast-paced, highly physical, nearly continuous game with high score totals. It would be hell to actually play in, but a ton of fun to watch.

**RomanesEuntDomus** · 03-01-2021, 06:42 AM

I strongly reject the notion that the SHL is second fiddle to the NHL, our league is very popular both in North America and around the world with a much more diverse group of players that makes it easier to appeal to very different audiences than your classic sports league like the NHL. But alas, if that new contract requires us to make some changes then so be it. So what do we do? One interesting thing I just saw in Formula E this weekend was audience participation, where the fans could give their favorite driver, or in our case player or team, a small edge by interacting with the broadcast through things like votings. The SHL could do something similar, maybe once a game an extra PP will be given to the team whose fans turned out in higher numbers compared to their season average, or they get to vote which players are supposed to be on the ice in certain situations like the shootout.

Segi · 03-01-2021, 06:45 AM

PT pass

***bluesfan55*** · 03-01-2021, 08:47 AM

Everybody loves extreme sports. And with the SHL finally getting picked up by a major cable network, things are about to get a lot more spicier in the league as a whole. You see, the idiots at the cable network that bought the SHL's television rights decided, "let's make this league XTREME for the dumbass viewers at home who don't know anything about hockey" and are forcing the league to make some sort of addition to make the league XTREME. So first we have to change our name to the XSHL (XTREME Simulation Hockey League). Then, we add ice ramps to the rink to allow players to do crazy skateboard-esque tricks, and if you score after landing said trick you get an extra point tacked on to your goal (so say you do a 360-degree dick flip then score while it's tied 1-1; your team is now winning 3-1). With that addition the league will be way more XTREME and visually appealing to dumb people.

ty to @High Stick King @EvilAllBran and @Ragnar for the sigs

Z0REM · 03-01-2021, 09:00 AM

Welcome to the new era of EXTREME HOCKEY. For the purpose of this rebrand, the SHL will be changing the league name to the eSHL. The little "e" is because the league will be a little extreme. Like when people say "Isn't that a little much". The change that is happening to the league is that every player is being outfitted with exoskeletons that will automatically even the playing field. Everyone will be skating around like they are the best player to ever hit the ice. This will make the players faster and stronger. Now when someone gets hit they will go flying! But this is all ok because we have replaced the boards of the rink with foam so that people checking too hard will have a soft landing. When everyone can skate like the greats, then everyone is having more fun. Including the fans! It's fool proof.

Credit to Vulfzilla for the awesome render pic

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