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charlieconway · 03-08-2021, 08:49 PM

Quote:Attention SHL, there is a verified alien in our midst. And like with ants, when you see one, there is no doubt more in hiding. Aside from Manyhands, do you suspect anyone else of being an alien?

I have a theory that my teammate Scoochie Stratton is not a human. There have been times when I've slipped in to the cafeteria surreptitiously and caught Scoochie eating his food by absorbing the nutrients with his hands. Other times, it seems like he walks different than everyone else. Those super-human reflexes he displays in goal? Maybe they're not even human at all...

Also, there's this photo I snapped of him after practice one day:

[Image: 9eucOMX.jpg]

***_Blitz_*** · 03-08-2021, 08:50 PM

Given all the evidence, I have to agree slightly with Gabe that my teammate Axel Meszaros has something alien about him. However, as his teammate in St. Louis and Toronto, I think it's that he was replaced by an alien. How else would Axel Meszaros go from passionately frustrated with his lack of success to robotically determined and emotionless while more successful on the ice?

iamslm22 · 03-08-2021, 09:13 PM

If there's anyone in sim leagues who is an alien it is that bum @(hotdog). Hotdog is part man, part otter, part hotdog. CLEARLY that is alien esque. What a weirdo

Clean Andrei Kostitsyn · 03-08-2021, 09:26 PM

i tink we all kno TURG TURG is alien just look at how he talk is eazy for sea he not human also he too good for human TURG TURG is alien thank

***Faelax*** · 03-08-2021, 10:13 PM

I have always suspected @Hordle of being an alien. Part goalie (Goalies aren't real people), part frog, one hundred percent alien. No other explanation makes any kind of sense

marco999 · 03-08-2021, 10:21 PM

I'm not certain that some of these players are aliens but there sure are a lot of players with funky names in the SHL. I often wonder who would name their child like that and the only answer I can think of are aliens.

***Rotti*** · 03-08-2021, 10:28 PM

I think that the closest thing we have to an alien is @Gooney. This man is from outerspace or maybe not outerspace but innerspace? Think about it. Go Birds.

DeletedAtUserRequest · 03-08-2021, 10:49 PM

this was the cover of a newspaper last season which claimed my son #A-Rye was half alien; and under his eye patch lies a new element on the periodic table... but I want to say right here and now that I’m almost positive my son is human.

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*Festinator* · 03-08-2021, 11:09 PM

I think my good buddy @bdu754 aka BEEG YOSHI might be an alien because I think it is not humanly possible to be so beeg and yet so wholesome.

***hhh81*** · 03-08-2021, 11:11 PM

While he's warmed up a bit in recent seasons, many could have accused Cassius Darrow of being an alien. Early in his career, he didn't really drink or party unlike his teammates. He was quiet and seemed solely focused on being an elite hockey player (and reading books). Fans in Buffalo were offput by his quiet nature, but over time he's shown himself to be human (really!)

KC15 · 03-08-2021, 11:46 PM

Well obviously it has to be our GM @notorioustig, right? I mean what actual, real human being is this kind of combination of wise, generous, inspiring, and hard working? Too good not to be from off the planet. lol

***Chevy*** · 03-09-2021, 12:52 AM

There was some time, even back when I was in the J that I could have sworn that @Zomp was an Alien, or even a robot. The dude just never seemed to need sleep. You'd think he'd be tired at some point but noooo. You could be in the middle of a conversation and think he's away then BAM! Cinnamon toast Awesome would jump on in. Seriously, only higher life forms like aliens probably can pull that sort of stuff off.

CanadianDuck · 03-09-2021, 12:55 AM

I have been his teammate and I have played against him many times. If anyone in the SHL is an alien it is obviously @SlashACM That guy has always given me out of this world vibes.

Gumbaman · 03-09-2021, 01:15 AM

There is one person I suspect to be an Alien. It would be @ACapitalChicago. One reason would be that he's too short. It's been found out that he's 3'2". Secondly, he's too nice. He's one of the most caring and thoughtful people I've ever met. He is clearly an alien by just his height. It's too short to not be an alien.

kikish18 · 03-09-2021, 03:17 AM

First of all - Manyhands must be the most hilarious player application I have seen since Cal Covid with jersey number 19. Hats off for that! Second - If there are aliens in SHL then they must be secretly communicating via SHL Twitter. That's the real place where You can find some aliens. I don't want to say any names in case people would think they are misunderstood. All I want to say let the aliens keep posting things that are not from this world on Twitter! They make my day better :D

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