April Fools sucks and is not that funny.

Ready for grading.

Jean-François Bokassa


Proud Father of Johnny Wagner-Svenson


Sven Svenson Career Stats

Sven Svenson | LW | #10 | San Francisco Pride | Peak 2,259 TPE
Birthplace: Stockholm, Swedend
Height: 6' 2"   Weight: 210 lbs
----------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------
SHL
Highlights:
S51 WJC Silver Medal - Team Sweden
S52 Drafted 34th overall in the SMJHL Draft - Colorado Raptors
S52 WJC Bronze Medal - Team Sweden
S52 IIHF Silver Medal - Team Sweden
S53 Drafted 15th overall in the SHL Draft - San Francisco Pride
S53 Colorado Raptors Alternate Captain
S53 WJC Silver Medal - Team Sweden
S56 IIHF Bronze Medal - Team Sweden
Named S57 San Francisco Pride Captain
S63 Ron Mexico Award Winner


Richard Hogsworth | GM of the Colorado Raptors | S56 - S59
------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------
Co-GM: S54-S55
Regular Season
  SEASON         TEAM          GP            W            L          OTL        P     
       54           |     COL     |     50      |      24      |    21     |     5      |    53      
       55           |     COL     |     50      |      27      |    18     |     5      |    59      
       56           |     COL     |     50      |      24      |    24     |     2      |    50     
       57           |     COL     |     66      |      33      |    27     |     6      |    72     
       58           |     COL     |     66      |      34      |    27     |     5      |    73     
       59           |     COL     |     66      |      35      |    23     |     8      |    78     
  CAREER    |                  |    348     |     170     |   140    |     31    |   385     
------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------
Playoffs
S54 - Eliminated in the Western Conference Semi-Finals
S55 - Eliminated in the Conference Semi-Finals
S56 - Eliminated in the Conference Semi-Finals
S57 - Eliminated in the Conference Semi-Finals
S58 - Eliminated in the Conference Semi-Finals
S59 - Eliminated in the Conference Semi-Finals

  

April Fools sucks and is not that funny.

Ready for grading.

My man is right.

5/5

Wilhelm von Hindenburg II  || Center || Kelowna Knights || 268 TPE
Name: Wilhelm von Hindenburg II
Birthplace: Germany
Height: 6'6
Weight: 220 lbs
Number: 44
Drafted: SMJHL- Round 2, Pick 28, Kelowna Knights
---------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------
Career Accomplisments:
------------------------------------------------------------
Career Statistics:
SMJHL Regular Season Totals:
---------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------
S69 | 68 GP | 18 G | 12 A | 30 P | -2 | 18 PIM | 69 H | 27 SB | 94 SOG | 
---------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------
SHL Regular Season Totals:
---------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------

                   Jarmo Kekäläinen  || Left Wing || Texas Renegades || 1411 TPE [RET]
Name: Jarmo Kekäläinen
Birthplace: Finland
Height: 6'1
Weight: 185 lbs
Number: 72
Drafted: SHL- Round 2, Pick 19, San Francisco Pride
---------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------
Career Accomplisments:
WJC S57 Gold (Finland)
WJC S58 Gold (Finland)
WJC S59 Silver (Finland)
SMJHL S57 2nd Team All-Star
------------------------------------------------------------
Career Statistics:
SMJHL Regular Season Totals:
---------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------
S56-59 | 247 GP | 63 G | 96 A | 159 P | +15 | 68 PIM | 202 H | 151 SB | 562 SOG | 
---------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------
SHL Regular Season Totals:
---------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------
S60 [MTL] | 66 GP | 11 G | 19 A | 30 P | -23 | 14 PIM | 86 H | 60 SB | 139 SOG |
S61 [MTL] | 66 GP | 08 G | 19 A | 27 P | -10 | 20 PIM | 85 H | 67 SB | 135 SOG |
S62 [MTL] | 66 GP | 13 G | 13 A | 26 P | -82 | 32 PIM | 69 H | 130 SB|114 SOG |
S63 [MTL] | 66 GP | 09 G | 19 A | 28 P | -40 | 18 PIM | 63 H | 98 SB | 130 SOG |
S64 [TEX] | 66 GP | 12 G | 18 A | 30 P | +18| 18 PIM | 74 H | 64 SB | 144 SOG |
S65 [TEX] | 66 GP | 24 G | 25 A | 49 P | -21 | 26 PIM | 103 H | 127 SB | 187 SOG |
S66 [TEX] | 66 GP | 24 G | 39 A | 63 P | -27 | 45 PIM | 116 H | 61 SB | 229 SOG |
S67 [TEX] | 66 GP | 17 G | 29 A | 46 P | -30 | 37 PIM | 96 H | 60 SB | 169 SOG |
S65 [TEX] | 66 GP | 23 G | 28 A | 51 P | -40 | 24 PIM | 93 H | 31SB | 154 SOG |
---------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------
TOT         | 594 GP | 141 G | 209 A | 350 P | -255 | 234 PIM | 785 H | 698 SB | 1393 SOG |

shut thef uck up

[S69] Tiberius Kane | Left Wing | GFG | 473 TPE
S67: WJC Silver
S68: Drafted 3rd Overall to GFG
S68: Drafted 14th Overall to TEX
S69: WJC Bronze


[S67] Nichael Fitted + [S64] Backup Goaltender


[S50] Tom Fiddler | Two-Way Center | Peak 2006 TPE | RETIRED

Drafted 4th round, 34th overall in S49 SMJHL Entry Draft
Drafted 2nd round, 24th overall in S50 SHL Entry Draft
Traded to Tampa Bay for a ham sandwich in S52

* = First Place

 Career Stats    |  GP |  G  |  A  | P    | +/-  |  Hit  |  SB  |    Sh  |  GA |  TK
 SHL  Regular    | 657 | 144 | 284 | 428 | -213 | 777 | 1013 | 1520 | 292 | 393
 SHL Playoffs    |  39    | 5   |  14 |  19  | -16  | 63  |    52  |          |        |       
 IIHF Regular    | 168 | 19  |  45  |  64 |  7   | 153 |    90  |          |        |       



SHL Regular Season Stats
Szn  |Team| GP | G |  A  | P    |  +/-  |  TOI | Hit | SB | Sh | PIM
S53 | TBB |  50 | 5  | 15 | 20| -24| 17:16  |  46 | 77 | 56 | 10
S54 | TBB |  45 | 1  | 10 | 11 | -80 | 18:35 |  60 | 171  | 55 | 17
S55 | TBB |  50 | 1  | 19 | 20 | -56 | 18:37 |  31 | 86    | 82 | 14
S56 | TBB |  50 | 5  | 15 | 20 | -35 | 19:22 |  34 | 112 | 101| 20
S57 | TBB |  66 | 14 | 32 | 46 | -26 | 24:48 | 64 |100  |152 | 20
S58 | TBB |  66 | 29 | 40 | 69 | -2  | 25:59  |100| 74 |180 | 20
S59 | TBB |  66 | 19 | 39 | 58 | -3  | 25:33  |105| 95 |188 | 14
S60 | TBB |  66 | 23 | 23 | 46 | 4  | 22:33  | 66  | 50  |159 | 26
S61 | TBB |  66 | 10 | 35 | 45 | 12 | 22:17  | 98  | 72  |182 | 20
S62 | TBB |  66 | 16 | 23 | 39 | -2  | 20:23  |104 | 57  |183 | 4
S63 | TOR | 66 | 21 | 33 | 54 | -1  |  20:29  | 69  |119  |182 | 39



SHL Playoff Stats
Szn  |Team| GP | G |  A  | P  |  +/- |  TOI  | Hit | SB | Sh | PIM
S59 | TBB |  5    | 1 |  1 |  2  |  -6  | 22:11  | 10  |  5  | 12  |  0 
S60 | TBB |  4    | 0 |  0 |  0  |  -6  | 22:49  |  8  |  1 |  7   | 0 
S61 | TBB |  13  | 1 |  9 | 10  |  0  | 21:06  | 17  | 13 | 29  | 0 
S62 | TBB |  12  | 1 |  3 |  4  |  -4 | 20:01  | 20  | 18 | 24  | 2
S63 | TOR |  5    | 2 |  1 |  3  |  0  | 21:16  |  8  | 15 | 15  |0 


SMJHL Career | GP: 200| G: 36 | A: 102 | P: 138 | +/-: 42
SMJHL Playoff Career | GP: 52| G: 9 | A: 23 | P: 32 | +/-: 5

SMJHL Regular Season Stats
S49 | MTL | GP: 50 | G: 3 | A: 16 | P: 19 | +/-: 2 | FO%: 42.43% | FOT: 898
S50 | CAR | GP: 50 | G: 6 | A: 15 | P: 21 | +/-: -6 | FO%: 50.93% | FOT: 1237
S51*| CAR | GP: 50 | G: 11 | A: 38 | P: 49 | +/-: 24 | FO%: 53.08% | FOT: 1313
S52 | CAR | GP: 50 | G: 16 | A: 33 | P: 49 | +/-: 22 | FO%: 53.33% | FOT: 1202

SMJHL Playoff Stats
S49*| MTL | GP: 17 | G: 2 | A: 7 | P: 9 | +/-: 5 | FO%: 51.96% | FOT: 433
S50*| CAR | GP: 18 | G: 4 | A: 5 | P: 9 | +/-: 5 | FO%: 50.28% | FOT: 356
S51  | CAR | GP:  6 | G: 2 | A: 2 | P: 4 | +/-: -1| FO%: 47.68% | FOT: 151
S52  | CAR | GP:  11 | G: 1 | A: 9| P: 10 | +/-: -4| FO%: 51.34% | FOT: 261

Awards
S49 Four Star Cup
S50 Four Star Cup
S51 Laurifer Trophy
S51 Petr Klimek Award for the Best Two-Way Player with Joseph Weston
S52 Honorary 3-way Laurifer Paricipation Trophy
S52 Alternate Captain of Carolina
S52 Petr Klimek Award for the Best Two-Way Player with Joseph Weston
S52 Kurtis Hunter Award for Team's Choice MVP
S52 IIHF Gold Medal
S53 IIHF Bronze Medal
S54 The Winless Season
S54 IIHF Silver Medal
S55 IIHF Gold Medal
S56 IIHF Silver Medal
S57 IIHF Silver Medal
S58 IIHF Silver Medal
S60 IIHF Silver Medal
S61 IIHF GoldMedal


IIHF Federation Head - Great Britain
S56: Silver
S57: Silver
S58: Silver
S59: DNQ
S60: Silver
S61: Gold
S62: DNQ
S68: Lost 1st Round
S69: Bronze


Fuck the penaltys
ARGARGARHARG

Applied kekw kekw kekw kekw

100.

 

Cal Labovitch |'| RW #12 |'| Detroit Falcons |'| Minnesota Monarchs |'| Switzerland

-----------------------------------------------------------------------

Personal details

Hometown: Lausanne, Switzerland

Height: 6'1" |'| Weight: 202 lbs

-----------------------------------------------------------------------

SHL STATISTICS

Regular season
S55 REG |'| Minnesota Chiefs      |'| GP: 50 |'| G:   12 |'| A: 15 |'| P: 27

S56 REG |'| Minnesota Monarchs |'| GP: 50 |'| G:   21 |'| A: 12 |'| P: 33

S57 REG |'| Minnesota Monarchs |'| GP: 66 |'| G:   31 |'| A: 20 |'| P: 51

S58 REG |'| Minnesota Monarchs |'| GP: 66 |'| G:   19 |'| A: 34 |'| P: 53

S59 REG |'| Minnesota Monarchs |'| GP: 66 |'| G:   23 |'| A: 39 |'| P: 62

S60 REG |'| Minnesota Monarchs |'| GP: 66 |'| G:   24 |'| A: 31 |'| P: 55

S61 REG |'| Minnesota Monarchs |'| GP: 66 |'| G:   42 |'| A: 30 |'| P: 72

S62 REG |'| Minnesota Monarchs |'| GP: 66 |'| G:   27 |'| A: 33 |'| P: 60

S63 REG |'| Minnesota Monarchs |'| GP: 66 |'| G:   18 |'| A: 35 |'| P: 53

S64 REG |'| Minnesota Monarchs |'| GP: 66 |'| G:   28 |'| A: 25 |'| P: 53

S65 REG |'| Baltimore Platoon |'| GP: 66 |'| G:   23 |'| A: 33 |'| P: 56

Post Season
S55 PO |'| Minnesota Chiefs      |'| Did not make playoffs                 

S56 PO |'| Minnesota Monarchs |'| Did not make playoffs                

S57 PO |'| Minnesota Monarchs |'| Did not make playoffs                

S58 PO |'| Minnesota Monarchs |'| Did not make playoffs                 

S59 PO |'| Minnesota Monarchs |'| Did not make playoffs                

S60 PO |'| Minnesota Monarchs |'| GP: 4 |'| G:   3 |'| A: 0 |'| P: 3

S61 PO |'| Minnesota Monarchs |'| GP: 4 |'| G:   1 |'| A: 2 |'| P: 3

S62 PO |'| Minnesota Monarchs |'| GP: 5 |'| G:   2 |'| A: 2 |'| P: 4

S63 PO |'| Minnesota Monarchs |'| Did not make playoffs

S64 PO |'| Minnesota Monarchs |'| Did not make playoffs

S65 PO |'| Baltimore Platoon |'| GP: 5 |'| G:   2 |'| A: 1 |'| P: 3

-----------------------------------------------------------------------

SMJHL STATISTICS

Regular season

S51 REG |'| Detroit Falcons |'| GP: 50 |'| G:   7 |'| A: 24 |'| P: 31

S52 REG |'| Detroit Falcons |'| GP: 50 |'| G: 19 |'| A: 35 |'| P: 54

S53 REG |'| Detroit Falcons |'| GP: 50 |'| G: 16 |'| A: 25 |'| P: 41

S54 REG |'| Detroit Falcons |'| GP: 50 |'| G:   9 |'| A: 14 |'| P: 23

Post Season

S51 PO |'| Detroit Falcons |'| GP:   7 |'| G: 3 |'| A: 2 |'| P: 5
S52 PO |'| Detroit Falcons |'| GP: 10 |'| G: 5 |'| A: 1 |'| P: 6

S53 PO |'| Detroit Falcons |'| GP: 17 |'| G: 2 |'| A: 3 |'| P: 5

S54 PO |'| Detroit Falcons |'| GP:   7 |'| G: 1 |'| A: 3 |'| P: 4

-----------------------------------------------------------------------

WJC STATISTICS

S50 WJC |'| Team Alpine |'| GP: 19 |'| G: 0 |'| A:   2   |'| P:   2

S51 WJC |'| Team DACH |'| GP: 21 |'| G: 4 |'| A: 10   |'| P: 14

S52 WJC |'| Team DACH |'| GP: 15 |'| G: 2 |'| A:   6   |'| P:   8

S53 WJC |'| Team DACH |'| GP: 13 |'| G: 1 |'| A: 12   |'| P: 13

S54 WJC |'| Team DACH |'| GP: 13 |'| G: 1 |'| A:   2   |'| P:   3

-----------------------------------------------------------------------

IIHF STATISTICS

S51 IIHF |'| Switzerland NT |'| GP: 15 |'| G: 0 |'| A: 0 |'| P:  0

S52 IIHF |'| Switzerland NT |'| GP: 12 |'| G: 0 |'| A: 0 |'| P:  0

S53 IIHF |'| Switzerland NT |'| GP: 12 |'| G: 2 |'| A: 3 |'| P:  5

S54 IIHF |'| Switzerland NT |'| GP: 13 |'| G: 1 |'| A: 6 |'| P:  7

S55 IIHF |'| Switzerland NT |'| GP: 12 |'| G: 4 |'| A: 2 |'| P:  6

S56 IIHF |'| Switzerland NT |'| GP: 13 |'| G: 2 |'| A: 3 |'| P:  5

S57 IIHF |'| Switzerland NT |'| GP: 12 |'| G: 3 |'| A: 5 |'| P:  8

S58 IIHF |'| Switzerland NT |'| GP: 12 |'| G: 4 |'| A: 7 |'| P: 11

S59 IIHF |'| Switzerland NT |'| GP: 13 |'| G: 6 |'| A: 7 |'| P: 13

S60 IIHF |'| Switzerland NT |'| GP: 12 |'| G: 3 |'| A: 4 |'| P:  7

S61 IIHF |'| Switzerland NT |'| GP: 13 |'| G: 3 |'| A:12 |'| P:15

S62 IIHF |'| Switzerland NT |'| GP: 13 |'| G: 3 |'| A: 3 |'| P:  6

S63 IIHF |'| Switzerland NT |'| GP: 15 |'| G: 4 |'| A: 6 |'| P: 10

S64 IIHF |'| Switzerland NT |'| GP: 13 |'| G: 6 |'| A: 5 |'| P: 11

S65 IIHF |'| Switzerland NT |'| GP: 15 |'| G: 9 |'| A: 6 |'| P: 15

-----------------------------------------------------------------------

Awards, Cups and Medals

S51 |'| Elias Armia Award (Commissioners' award of excellence)

S51 |'| IIHF (Switzerland NT) |'| Silver medal

S51 |'| WJC (Team DACH) |'| Co-GM

S51 |'| WJC (Team DACH) |'| Bronze medal

S52 |'| Detroit Falcons |'| Laurifer Trophy  

S52 |'| WJC (Team DACH) |'| Co-GM

S53 |'| Detroit Falcons |'| Laurifer Trophy 

S53 |'| Detroit Falcons |'| Oriens Trophy 

S53 |'| Detroit Falcons |'| Four Star Cup

S54 |'| WJC (Team DACH) |'| Co-GM

S55 |'| Minnesota Chiefs |'| Called up to SHL

S55 |'| Ryan Jesster Trophy (nominee)

S56 |'| Detroit Falcons |'| Co-GM

S59 |'| Detroit Falcons |'| GM

S61 |'| Jay McDonald Trophy

S61 |'| Ron Mexico Trophy (nominee)

S62 |'| Minnesota Monarchs |'| GM

S63 |'| IIHF (Switzerland NT) |'| Silver medal

-----------------------------------------------------------------------

Draft position
SHL     |'| Draft S52 |'| Round 1 |'|   2OA
SMJHL |'| Draft S51 |'| Round 3 |'| 25OA

 

  

Julian Flörsch |'| LD #42 |'| Detroit Falcons |'| Minnesota Monarchs |'| Switzerland

-----------------------------------------------------------------------

Personal details

Hometown: Geneva, Switzerland

Height: 6'0" |'| Weight: 200 lbs

-----------------------------------------------------------------------

SHL STATISTICS

Regular season[/pbl]

S69 REG |'| Minnesota Monarchs |'| GP: 66 |'| G:    8 |'| A: 23 |'| P: 31

S70 REG |'| Minnesota Monarchs |'| GP: 66 |'| G:   11 |'| A: 24 |'| P: 35

S71 REG |'| Minnesota Monarchs |'| GP: 66 |'| G:   10 |'| A: 18 |'| P: 28

S72 REG |'| Minnesota Monarchs |'| GP: 66 |'| G:   09 |'| A: 27 |'| P: 36

S73 REG |'| Minnesota Monarchs |'| GP: 66 |'| G:   08 |'| A: 25 |'| P: 33

Post Season
S69 PO |'| Minnesota Monarchs |'| GP: 5 |'| G:   0 |'| A: 2 |'| P: 2
S70 PO |'| Minnesota Monarchs |'| GP: 4 |'| G:   0 |'| A: 0 |'| P: 0
-----------------------------------------------------------------------
SMJHL STATISTICS
Regular season
S65 REG |'| Detroit Falcons |'| GP: 66 |'| G:   7 |'| A: 15 |'| P: 22
S66 REG |'| Detroit Falcons |'| GP: 66 |'| G: 11 |'| A: 19 |'| P: 30
S67 REG |'| Detroit Falcons |'| GP: 66 |'| G: 16 |'| A: 36 |'| P: 52
S68 REG |'| Detroit Falcons |'| GP: 66 |'| G: 13 |'| A: 40 |'| P: 53
Post Season
S65 PO |'| Detroit Falcons |'| GP: 17 |'| G: 0 |'| A: 3 |'| P: 3
S66 PO |'| Detroit Falcons |'| GP:  0 |'| G: 0 |'| A: 0 |'| P: 0
S67 PO |'| Detroit Falcons |'| GP: 10 |'| G: 2 |'| A: 2 |'| P: 4
S68 PO |'| Detroit Falcons |'| GP: 18 |'| G: 5 |'| A: 8 |'| P:13
-----------------------------------------------------------------------
WJC STATISTICS
S64 WJC |'| Team SWEDEN |'| GP: 13 |'| G: 1 |'| A:   1   |'| P:   2
S65 WJC |'| Team DACH |'| GP: 15 |'| G: 1 |'| A:  5   |'| P:  6
S66 WJC |'| Team DACH |'| GP: 15 |'| G: 1 |'| A:   6   |'| P:   7
S67 WJC |'| Team DACH |'| GP: 15 |'| G: 3 |'| A:   1   |'| P:   4
S68 WJC |'| Team DACH |'| GP: 15 |'| G: 1 |'| A:  4   |'| P:  5
-----------------------------------------------------------------------
IIHF STATISTICS
S66 IIHF |'| Switzerland NT |'| GP: 13 |'| G: 1 |'| A: 3 |'| P:  4
S67 IIHF |'| Switzerland NT |'| GP: 13 |'| G: 0 |'| A: 1 |'| P:  1
S68 IIHF |'| Switzerland NT |'| GP: 13 |'| G: 0 |'| A: 1 |'| P:  1
S69 IIHF |'| Switzerland NT |'| GP: 12 |'| G: 0 |'| A: 0 |'| P:  0
S70 IIHF |'| Switzerland NT |'| GP: 12 |'| G: 0 |'| A: 1 |'| P:  1

S71 IIHF |'| Switzerland NT |'| GP: 15 |'| G: 2 |'| A: 3 |'| P:  5

S72 IIHF |'| Switzerland NT |'| GP: 12 |'| G: 0 |'| A: 3 |'| P:  3

-----------------------------------------------------------------------

Awards, Cups and Medals

S65 |'| IIHF (Switzerland NT) |'| Gold medal

S65 |'| Detroit Falcons |'| Laurifer trophy

S65 |'| Detroit Falcons |'| Linna-Landvik trophy

S65 |'| Detroit Falcons |'| Four Star Cup
S65 |'| WJC (Team DACH) |'| Gold medal
S66 |'| WJC (Team DACH) |'| Gold medal
S67 |'| WJC (Team DACH) |'| Gold medal
S68 |'| Quilha Agante Trophy
S68 |'| WJC (Team DACH) |'| Gold medal
S68 |'| Detroit Falcons |'| Laurifer trophy
S68 |'| Detroit Falcons |'| Linna-Landvik trophy
S68 |'| Detroit Falcons |'| Four Star Cup
S68 |'| Quilha Agante Trophy (nominee)

S69 |'| Minnesota Monarchs |'| Called up to SHL
S69 |'| Ryan Jesster Trophy (nominee)

-----------------------------------------------------------------------
Draft position
SHL|'| Draft S66 |'| Autodrafted

SMJHL|'| Draft S65 |'| Round 1 |'|   11OA

 

  

 
Credit for the images goes to @Carpy48, @soulja, @fever95 and @Wasty

Everybody who ever got tricked showing themselves in this thread.

buncha fools.

Valentin Kalashnikov || D || Baltimore Platoon || 2106 TPE

6'3'' || 225 lbs || Grozny, Russian Federation

S52 SMJHL Entry Draft 5th Overall (Halifax Raiders)

S53 SHL Draft 12th Overall (Tampa Bay Barracuda)

S52 WJC IIHF Champion (UCORCAL)

S53 WJC IIHF Bronze (UCORCAL)

S55 WJC IIHF Champion (UCORCAL)

================================================

SMJHL Season Stats

Szn || Team || GP ||  G||  A||  P|| +/- || HIT || SHB || TOI ||

S52 || HFX  || 50 ||  4|| 11|| 14 ||  -7 ||  85 ||  47 || 1093|| 

S53 || MET || 50 ||  9|| 14|| 23 ||  -13 ||  166 ||  85 || 23:20 ||

================================================

Playoffs Stats

Szn || Team || GP  || G || A || P || +/- || HIT || SHB || TOI ||

S52 || HFX  || 6/6 || 0 || 4 || 4 ||  +2 ||  12 ||  5 || 127 ||

S53 || MET  || DNQ || 0 || 0 || 0 ||  0 ||  0 ||  0 || 0 ||