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mee · 04-02-2021, 02:10 PM

I'm Dale Murphy and I am here with what is the latest breaking news in the world of the SHL.

It has recently come to our attention that not all is well in the world of the great Minnesota. "I had really wondered why, after the Monarchs had changed their logo, I was unable to access the games anymore," said Sophia Ball, a 15-year-old fan of the Monarch. "I would flip the game on YouTube and would be told that I was restricted by my age from watching the game. I had no idea why the Monarch would cause a U21 label. This didn't happen with any of the other teams."

"I am a big analyst for an SBNation website," said Liam, who preferred to not say any more of his name in an attempt to keep his identity unknown. Liam is a 19-year-old college student who is an analyst for the main SBNation SHL website. Liam, who covers the western conference during the playoffs, said every season he was worried about the Monarchs making the playoffs. "But thankfully every season they let their fans down."

The Monarchs Logo

Liam and Sophia, I think it is time we tell you, and every other young fan in Minnesota or elsewhere in the SHL, why the Minnesota Monarchs' games are blacked out to anyone other than an over twenty-one-year-old. The Minnesota Monarchs do not wear uniforms. Yes, you read that correctly the Minnesota Monarchs do not wear uniforms. Take a look at their team page, nothing there. A glance at the old SHL media may find you a post announcing their new logo, and another one with their alternate logo, but no uniforms. We went around the league to see what some players thought about this phenomenon.

"Yes, it was very weird playing against them the first time, everything just everywhere," said Name Redacted, the backup scrub goaltender for the Manhatten Rage. "It was a little distracting when they had that girl on the third line, but this past season was much easier. Just a bunch of ugly dudes."

A truly interesting story indeed. Recently, Jack Klompus was traded to Manhatten. It was said that Klompus, whose contract was up, had no intention of resigning. Why not? Minnesota was a young and growing team, only just missing out on the playoffs. Manhatten may have been in the playoffs this season, but that aging roster is sure very close to being irrelevant and in a rebuild. Why would Klompus want to play for a rebuilding team as he starts to enter his prime? Well, we may have an answer. "Yes, not everyone likes the playing without uniforms," said an unnamed Minnesota player. "I don't remember if Jack himself was too happy with it, but I could easily see leaving over it. Some of us have wives and want to save that kinda stuff for her."

I was speaking with another member of the Monarch defense Johnny Shuffleboard. Shuffleboard told me that "Playing without uniforms is mad weird." Shuffleboard is a pending UFA. He refused to tell me if would be part of his decision-making when free agency opens next week Sunday at noon.

But before FA, the next big event in the SHL calendar is the draft. I caught up with draft prospect Sven Svechnikov of the Vancouver Whalers. Sven told me, "Every player has the dream of being drafted into the SHL. It kinda goes the same for all of us. You hear your name, you get handed a hat of your team and you walk up the steps to the commissioner. You give the comish a handshake, and you get presented with a jersey. You take a pic with the comish, yourself in the hat, and the jersey. Doing that without a jersey kind of changes the dream." I asked him if he would rather be drafted by a different team, Sven said "In a way. But if Minnesota takes me I'd be very happy to play there."

Svechnikov Golfing

And while Svechnikov doesn't seem to mind the no uniforms, perhaps others do. It has been forever since the Monarchs have signed a big-time free agent. While that does predate the lack of uniforms, perhaps it is part of it continuing today.

The same may go for draftees. Minnesota has not done the greatest job drafting (for the few picks they don't trade away). Are players tanking workouts with the Monarch to ensure they can play with their clothes on?

Just something to think about.

Dale Murphy

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756 words
The end refers to the draft, so why not give me a 2x?

HanTheMan_ · 04-02-2021, 02:31 PM

lol never realized they didnt upload the jersey files. they do exist i swear

mee · 04-02-2021, 02:59 PM

04-02-2021, 02:31 PMHanTheMan_ Wrote: lol never realized they didnt upload the jersey files. they do exist i swear

Oh really? Or perhaps have we discovered why Devin Basher demanded a trade from MIN to HAM?
(Just playing with you Han)

HanTheMan_ · 04-02-2021, 10:20 PM

04-02-2021, 02:59 PMmee Wrote:
04-02-2021, 02:31 PMHanTheMan_ Wrote: lol never realized they didnt upload the jersey files. they do exist i swear
Oh really? Or perhaps have we discovered why Devin Basher demanded a trade from MIN to HAM?
(Just playing with you Han)

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