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***Inf1d3l*** · 04-05-2021, 07:47 AM

(To the music of Eminem's - Stan)

The ice is cold, I’m wonderin why
Picked this profession at all
The sweat fogs up my visor
And I can't see at all
And even if I could I’d miss my shots
Put your goalie on the bench
It reminds me, that I suck at this,
I suck at this

The ice is cold, I’m wonderin why
Picked this profession at all
The sweat fogs up my visor
And I can't see at all
And even if I could I’d miss my shots
Put your goalie on the bench
It reminds me, that I suck at this,
I suck at this

Dear GMs, I wrote but I’m still undrafted
I just really don’t wanna get shafted
I sent some memes in S60 server, you must not have seen em
There probably was a problem or they got deleted
Sometimes I put them in the wrong channels
But anyways, fuck it, what's been up? How your draft panels?
My mock draft sucks too, I’m bout to give up on shit
If I get some TPE, guess what I’m gonna do with it
I'ma up my Faceoffs
I read about your callups too I’m sorry
I had a friend leave his J team for the Monarchs
I know you probably hear this everyday, but I'm your best option
I even got my TPE written up in a concoction
I got a room full of FHM6 strats
I can even post a picture of my cat
Anyways, I hope you get this GMs, message me
Scout me, just to see, if we can be we

The ice is cold, I’m wonderin why
Picked this profession at all
The sweat fogs up my visor
And I can't see at all
And even if I could I’d miss my shots
Put your goalie on the bench
It reminds me, that I suck at this,
I suck at this

Dear GMs, you still ain’t wrote or DMed, I hope you can soon
I ain't mad, I just think it's weird I might not get drafted til June
If you didn't wanna talk to me on the website
You didn't have to, but you coulda done something before the deadline
It hurts my ego man, I’ll act like a child
I waited in the draft room
For four hours but you thought I was mild
That's pretty shitty GMs, I’m an active player
I wanna be the best man, I’ll even use a trainer
I ain't that mad though, I just don't like bein' lied to
Remember when we talked in S53, you said if I recreated you’d want me
See I'm just a recreate in a way
I didn’t like STHS either
It used to make me feel like it was a cheater
I can relate to what you're saying in your media
Cause when I’m on the ice, it’s like i have anemia
'Cause I don't really got hockey skills, so I pretend when I play
Though hopefully I’ll get drafted and get paid
I can’t even do shit on NHL twenty
I get so mad when I lose, it puts me in a frenzy
See everything I say is real, and you know I wanna start
I’m still wondering why I picked this sport
But no one knows me like you GMs do, no one does
You all know what its like having a league job growing up
You gotta draft me peeps, I’m the best player you’ll ever lose
Sincerely yours, Stan
P.S. I should get a media bonus for this too

The ice is cold, I’m wonderin why
Picked this profession at all
The sweat fogs up my visor
And I can't see at all
And even if I could I’d miss my shots
Put your goalie on the bench
It reminds me, that I suck at this,
I suck at this

Dear GMs too damn good to draft me high
When you lose to me, I bet you’ll all be wonderin why
It's been six minutes and still no word, what the hell
I know you saw my last two verses, just call me on my cell
So this is my media I'm sending you, I hope you read it
I'm at work right now, procrastinating heavily
Hey GMs, I bought my coaching
That’s twenty TPE
Hopefully you don’t think me doing this is creepy
I’m just an awkward nerd, there’s nothing wrong with me
Again if you draft me, we could be we
Maybe i’m out of touch cause I’m in my thirties
But I promise people will be buying my jerseys
All I want is a simple message or a DM
I hope you know I’ll be sent down a good term
You could ruin it though, look at me, I’m flawless
And when you see me on the board, I hope you panic, and pick me quick
I hope you know that my plays will be sick
See GMs, oh shit wait, my boss is in the room
Gotta look like I’m doing my job, he assumes
But I screw off most of the day, cause I’m lazy
This is the kind of crap I end up doing on the daily
Well, gotta go, My phone is ringing now
Oh shit, I forgot, I’m the next Gordie Howe

The ice is cold, I’m wonderin why
Picked this profession at all
The sweat fogs up my visor
And I can't see at all
And even if I could I’d miss my shots
Put your goalie on the bench
It reminds me, that I suck at this,
I suck at this

Dear GMs, sorry for my rant, the voices in my head spoke
And I really needed this media, I’m sorta broke
Look, I'm really flattered you’d even consider me
I’ll even play on line three
For your team, I can be key
I'm sorry I didn’t message you before now, I just forgot
But I’ll admit my loyalty can be bought
What’s this you said about a rebuild?
If you draft me, you’re needs are fulfilled
I got some issues GMs, but I’m on some meds
I’ll even post in some forum threads
But I won’t do it just to talk shit
That’s the type of shit i usually omit
I really think you and me need each other
I bet you didn’t know, but I’m a big brother
My sister is gonna join the league in a few seasons
Don’t ask who she is, you dont need the reasons
I can be a great locker room presence
I’ll even do my weekly attendance
I promise not to do some crazy shit
Like act like Bruins players and lick and spit
I might shit talk a few people behind their backs
But that’s just me hiding that I’m a hack
This edit was really fucking hard to do
Cmon graders, gimmie that double media too
Damn!

(double draft media pls)

(1160 words)