Create Account

An Interview with All of Seattle's Draft Picks
#1
(This post was last modified: 04-09-2021, 05:02 PM by Mediocre_Fred.)

[Not x2 Draft Media 1008 Words because I missed the deadline]

Draft Review: An Evening With All of the Seattle Argonauts' S59 Draft Picks

Written by Ace Dickenson for Fred's Fantastically Mediocre Analytics News  What's this?




That's right, you read the title correctly. It is I, Ace Dickenson, in the flesh, and today I've got something really special for you all. I have finished serving my, er, community service sentence in Detroit after abducting that Fred Wanesly fellow and have decided to start anew out here in Seattle, where I surely won't run into Mr. Wanesly any time soon. But that is all beside the point. We are here to talk about the Seattle Argonauts' draft picks from the recent Season 59 SHL entry draft. My unpaid intern has prepared a few short questions for each of the Seattle Argonaut draftees and I have conducted a short interview with the draftees using said questions. So, on to the fun part! Introducing the first of, I'm sure, many draftees!

1. Daud Ramza (Round 1, Pick 5)

I was very pleased to meet this nice young man. Mr. Daud Ramza is from England, just like my favorite player, Fred Wanesly. I wonder if they ever met each other? Anyway, after shaking hands with Mr. Ramza, I began with the first interview question prepared by my unpaid intern.

"So, Mr. Ramza, if you were or currently are a hockey player, what position would you play? Wait, of course you 'currently play hockey'! I'm sorry, my intern must have been confused"
          "No, not a problem! I currently play as a center, but I actually chose that position when I was younger because I also used to play as a center attacking midfielder when I played football as a kid"
"On to the next question then! Are you excited to be a part of the Seattle Argonauts program?"
          "Thanks, Ace. I am incredibly excited to be an Argonaut. This organization has some truly incredible people in it, I have a great love for both the city of Seattle and the branding of the team. There are such great people in the organization that I am just truly excited to work my way up the organization and become a great player for this new team out west."
"Thanks, Daud. You don't mind if I call you Daud, do you? Now, on to some more advanced interview questions. A sort of trivia, if you will. Is the following algebraic equation Linear, Quadratic, or Cubic? 2x+5"
          "I wish I could tell you, Ace. Truth be told, I am more of a historian than a mathematician. But I have a one third shot so I will go with quadratic just because it sounds the best."
"Oooo, sorry Daud, that is incorrect. The answer was 'Linear'. I'm not sure why my unpaid intern decided to add that last question, but it must be important to hockey. Take my advice and brush up on your algebra before the season starts. Anyway, on to the next question! Using U.S. Pennies as the unit of measurement, how much did you weigh when you were born?"
          "That's an easy one, Ace. If the average US cent weighs about 2.5 grams, then that would mean I weighed one thousand and fifteen pennies when I was born."
"Wait, you just did that math right there in your head but you didn't get the other one?"
          "I don't know what to tell you."
"Anyway, next question. Apples and Oranges. Compare them. Go."
          "Well, I'm allergic to apples. And while I don't love them, oranges won't try and hurt me. So I guess the best comparison is Apples = Dangerous. Oranges = Safe."
"Great job! Next question: Do you like the looks of the Argonauts' home jersey or away jersey more?"
          "Another excellent question, Ace! I think they are both pretty slick, but I have to give the edge to the home jersey because blue and gold is just such a regal pairing."
"Ah, regal. Such a regal word. On to the next question prepared by my unpaid intern. This one is a bit of a scenario and you'd tell me how you'd react. Your new teammate Fred Wanesly- wait, Fred Wanesly is here? As in he lives here in Seattle? He's not in the building is he? Because he has a restraining order against me and I don't want to go to jail again. He's not here right now? Okay, good. Anyway! Your new teammate Fred Wanesly offers you a dill pickle with what seems to be a bite taken out of it in the middle of practice. Do you accept or decline?"
          "I think, as a courtesy, I would take a bite of the end of it and pass it right back. He's not actually going to do something like that, will he?"
"He might. Playing for Detroit apparently does something weird to people. I wouldn't worry about it too much. And now we are on to the final question in our interview today: What do you think you will bring to the Seattle Argonauts program in the next few seasons?"
          "I am really hoping to be a final piece to an already great team. Hopefully, and I really do mean hopefully, I will end up bringing a Challenge cup or two to the Argonauts and just become a leader and good locker room figure on and off the ice."
"Wonderful. Thank you for your time here today. When you leave could you send in the next player Seattle drafted this season, please?"
And that is when I learned that there was only one player drafted by Seattle this season. So, unfortunately, the article is about one thousand words shorter than I wanted it to be, but what can I do about the management choices made by the Seattle Argonaut organization. Thank you all for reading this article and remember, if any law enforcement officer reaches out to you, please tell them that I did not travel all the way to Seattle and violate Fred Wanesly's restraining order. Thanks to @Blasoon for participating in my media piece.

[Image: Fred.png]
[Image: PeZ8eh1.png] [Image: r2pSvNf.png]
Reply
#2

Woo future argo bros!



Reply
#3

Hate to be the bearer of such news, but double media ended yesterday. As such this cannot count for double media.

[Image: Zoone16.gif]


[Image: 9QVaMRC.png] [Image: canybyK.png] [Image: sXDU6JX.png]
Reply
#4

Argonauts

[Image: crtigger.gif]
[Image: murphy.png]
Reply
#5

Argonauts

[Image: beegbeegyoshi.gif]
[Image: B7bDIPG.png]
[Image: YOSHI.png?ex=65f214ee&is=65df9fee&hm=80f...e73badf86&]
Reply
#6

04-09-2021, 04:29 PMZoone16 Wrote: Hate to be the bearer of such news, but double media ended yesterday. As such this cannot count for double media.
whoops. Why don't you just do me a favor then and give it a x1 bonus? For old times sake?

[Image: Fred.png]
[Image: PeZ8eh1.png] [Image: r2pSvNf.png]
Reply
#7

hell yeah Argonauts

[Image: Gabe-lights.png]
[Image: nMz40Vc.gif]

Reply




Users browsing this thread:
1 Guest(s)




Navigation

 

Extra Menu

 

About us

The Simulation Hockey League is a free online forums based sim league where you create your own fantasy hockey player. Join today and create your player, become a GM, get drafted, sign contracts, make trades and compete against hundreds of players from around the world.