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Skeleton Party · 05-10-2021, 09:36 AM

Code:
878 wordthings according to wordcounter

Name Redacted at the All Star Game
By Leo Sportsinterviews

It has been a long time since [Name Redacted] has been able to claim a good amount of success. Some may say he had an excellent rookie season, posting 7 shutouts and scooping up a 20-4 record. The fact of the matter was that his save percentage was abysmal behind a pretty stellar defense and he only got very sheltered starts. In his mind, this was not worthy of acclaim. The following season was nothing short of abysmal, and is a season that [Name Redacted] would soon like to forget. Luckily, he was only backup that season, so the damage was not too severe.

The last time he’d consider himself as having a successful season would go all the way back to the first half of his rookie season in the SMJHL, where he was named to the Western All-Stars. Being named to the All-Star team is the ultimate affirmation of a good season. Your underlying numbers have to be great, you have to be making a difference for your team, and it has to be so noticeable that the eggheads on the All Star Committee (who won’t even take a bribe!) give you the nod. Back then, [Name Redacted] was unstoppable, dragging a decimated Vancouver roster seemingly toward the playoffs.

This year seems pretty similar to [Name Redacted]. With Manhattan losing a ton of experience and instead focusing on the next generation of younger players, [Name Redacted] has needed to step up a bit in his first season as the starter. Among starters, he has the highest save percentage in the league. While his win rate has been less than stellar, he has stolen a few games against much better teams. This was apparently enough to grab the attention of the All-Star committee and get him a nod as the Eastern Conference’s starter.

“I’m deeply honored to be named to the All-Star team,” said [Name Redacted] after being notified of the roster following a 5-2 victory over the Toronto North Stars. “It’s really humbling to be able to stand beside so many great players and a mandatory minimum number of players from every team. I can’t wait to arrive and get some autographs!”

[Name Redacted] later arrived at Null Island and was sentenced to mandatory quarantine until gametime. Through the bars in his holding cell, however, he got to see so many greats walk past that he had only ever seen on the ice. He got many autographs. When asked by [Name Redacted] if he would maybe like to hang out a bit following the game, Hamilton Steelhawk Theo Morgan was quoted as saying, “No.”

Despite this, [Name Redacted] was excited to be there and took his excitement to the ice. He backstopped 2 perfect periods, after which he finally allowed a goal after 9 shots early in the third. A last minute breakaway beat him on shot 17, but he managed to hold with the help of some stellar shot blocking by the Eastern All Stars defense to clinch a 3-2 victory. When we caught up with [Name Redacted] following the game, he was understandably excited.

“I mean last time I was in an All Star Game I didn’t even get to play, so any result would have been a treat for me,” said [Name Redacted]. “But being able to bring a win home is really exciting. It is for sure something I’ll never forget. I really appreciate those guys out there in front of me blocking shots all game. They were playing like they were horrified of me having to make a save, like I was bad or something. That was a really close game though. I don’t know if we would have had the same success if our giveaway/takeaway ratio was slightly lower. Good on our guys for keeping control of the puck, that really was the difference maker.”

Then, uncharacteristically for [Name Redacted], he used the rest of his interview to plug a charitable cause.

“Listen,” interjected [Name Redacted]. “With all the fun that we have had here this weekend, we can’t let it distract us from tragedy when it occurs. What I’d really like to do is to dedicate this win to all of the Stampede who couldn’t be here today through no fault of your own. The world is an immensely unfair place sometimes, and we as members of this great hockey community have to do our part to recognize tragedy and pitch in when others are in need. That’s why 100% of the profits from [Name Redacted] All Star merchandise will go toward the Stampede Greatness Appreciation Fund, and I am setting up a charity telethon for the cause later this month, so stay tuned for that. Just know that this win is as much yours as it is mine.”

We then followed [Name Redacted] as he got a few more autographs before departing on the long flight back to Manhattan. He was an active participant at morning skate, taking shooting drills and prepping for this week’s dogfight for the last playoff spot in the Atlantic. “The All Star game was really nice,” [Name Redacted] ejaculated following practice. “But it’s time to get to work to aim toward something higher.”

***bluesfan55*** · 05-10-2021, 10:34 AM

this name redacted guy seems pretty generous, how kind of him

ty to @High Stick King @EvilAllBran and @Ragnar for the sigs

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