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Pingy Pingu · 05-20-2021, 01:02 PM

Good afternoon everyone! Today on PPNN, I Mr. Pingy Pingu Lunga Gumba Agaba Oogley Boogley, will be speaking with the Detroit Falcons' second line left winger extraordinaire, Mr. Kermit Murphy. Now, we are in the last week of games before playoff season kicks off in our 59th run here in the SMJHL. The Detroit Falcons have played a pretty decent regular season. They are currently in 4th place in the standings, with 41 wins and 20 losses. They have 5 overtime losses, 215 goals for, 168 goals against making a differential of +45. The Detroit Falcons are in the middle of the pack with the Kelowna Knights being significantly above them with a +112 differential and the Colorado Raptors, in 5th place, being significantly below them with a +9 differential. The Kelowna Knights lead with 102 points total, and Detroit is not far behind with 87 points total. So this is not a very good season for Detroit but it's not the worst season ever either. Perhaps some of this lack in the Detroit Falcons' performance comes from Mr. Kermit Murphy.

[Image: Shooting_percentage_chart_516.png]

(Graph credit to @Pickle Juice)

This graph here shows the accuracy of the Players on the Detroit Falcons. Mr. Kermit Murphy over here is sitting as an outlier with the most goals but an extremely high number of shots. Murphy is a decent player who goes hard on the ice, but when it comes to hitting the net, well let's just say Murphy couldn't hit the broad side of a barn. Kermit Murphy has the worst accuracy on the Detroit Falcons, and he may have one of the least accurate shots among the wingers in the SMJHL. Being a junior, Murphy has a lot of work to do so he can improve his shot and get his performance up to par when he starts in the SHL. My correspondent Birbby has the chance to interview Kermit Murphy today to give him the opportunity to explain his accuracy stats and how he will improve his shot.

So, Kermit Murphy, how have things been going with you in the SMJHL?

Things have been going pretty well for me, I am on second line so I play a significant part on my team, so it is important that I be at the top of my game. I like it here with the Detroit Falcons and in the SMJHL, we have not been playing at our best but we are in 4th place overall which is fairly good. We are in a pretty good position as it stands for when playoff season starts.

How do you think the Detroit Falcons have been playing? Is there anything they could improve on?

Yea I mean we have been working hard out there getting those shots on net and trying to win every game we can. I think we can improve our breakout strategy and get better at passing and positioning so we are ready for the playoffs. I know personally I have a decent shot but I definitely need to work on that.

Now, you say you have a decent shot but the leaderboard tells a bit of a different story. You have the worst accuracy of the Detroit Falcons. What can you do to improve your accuracy and hit the net more?

Me? The worst Shot? How? I may infact have the best shot, don't forget I have scored the most goals! What is this? What are you trying to get at here? Huh? You trying to pinch my nerves? Is that it? Well let me tell you a story. Once there was a turtle and a rabbit. now the rabbit wanted to get to the magical valley as fast as he could, and he forgot all about using strategy to avoid predators and he ended up getting tired out in the open and got eaten! The turtle on the other hand went slower and used the environment to hide from predators and he got to the valley without a scratch. That is how I do things. I am taking a little longer to improve my shot but I am getting there.

You describe yourself simliar to a turtle, but considering you are a froggy, wouldn't you be more similar to a rabbit because you know frogs hop around quickly?

Oh look at you with your big brain. Look guys! we have a smart ass over here! WHO THE HECK DO YOU THINK YOU ARE OK I AM VITAL TO THIS TEAM AND I WILL NOT LET YOU HINDER MY SUCCESS!

Now let's not get heated, just calm down I am not trying to bring you down in any way. I still haven't yet got a full response from you as to how you can improve from one of the worst accuracy spots.

OK THATS IT CMERE YOU LITTLE-

AAAAAAAAH OK BACK TO YOU PINGY-

It appears we have to cut the interview short. It seems the Detroit Falcons are a little on edge, probably because it's just about playoff season and they have pent up energy. I am excited to watch the playoff games, and I'll see you there! Pingy Pingu out.

PremierBromanov · 05-20-2021, 01:14 PM

damn, looks clean

also, fuck detroit

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