Login

jRuutu · 05-21-2021, 01:56 PM

[Image: 3-Ways-You-Can-Look-at-Any-Struggle-and-...Result.jpg]

When you play hockey on a professional level, you create certain habits that help you to get through the day. For example, I like to start my day by eating porridge. I have eaten the same brand and type of porridge for years and years. Unfortunately, it looks like they are not making the porridge I like anymore, or my go-to store does not have it anymore. What makes things worse, the shelf where the porridge used to be is now filled with a different type of porridge, so it's fair to assume they are not bringing it back even if they are still making the porridge.

As I write this, I have enough for maybe three more days. Then it's over. I need to find a new porridge to eat. When I thought things can't possibly get any worse. The same thing happened with the bread I like to eat. They used to sell this delicious, freshly baked bread at the store. I bought it at least a couple of times each week. Now the bread is not sold anymore. I had to find another type of bread to eat.

Is that all? Nope. Today Nevada was eliminated from the playoffs. With that comes the official ending to my junior career in SMJHL. I have played four or five seasons, now I'm too old. During all those years, I did not win the championship in the juniors, which is something I would have liked to do since I don't think I have ever won the junior championship.

As I'm thinking about everything going on right now, the first thing that comes to mind is a question: why me? What have I done to deserve such turbulence and bad luck? Nothing seems to go my way.

Do you think a professional athlete, like myself, can just go and eat whatever type of porridge? No. I have spent years getting everything just right. Starting from how I make the porridge, how long it takes, and most importantly how much I need to eat, so my motor has enough energy for the next three to four hours. I have to now figure out all those points again AFTER I have found a brand of porridge I like.

The same is true with the bread. The bread I liked was usually warm when I bought it. Do you know what that means? The bread was pretty much as fresh as it gets. So tasty, so nice. It's surprisingly rare to find bread like that since most of the bread stores sell come from somewhere, but not that one. They baked it in my favorite store. Now, I have been experimenting with this carrot bread they sell, quite nice, but for whatever reason, the feeling is not the same. When you have a tough morning skate, afterward you pop in at the store and come home with hot bread, shovel that in - everything is ok again. Life is good. You don't get that experience with carrot bread.

The goals and milestones you set for yourself did not come true. The routines and habits that brought you joy are destroyed. It's during times like this that you realize how pointless life truly is. You can only wonder what is the point in all this? What is the point in getting up early in the morning to skate around in an icy box? It all feels so tiresome.

I realize that the career of a professional athlete can't always be winning and sunshine. Sometimes you need to finish last and go through tough times to improve as an athlete and as a person. Some say that winning and the sunshine feel that much better after going through challenging moments. I'm going through challenging moments right now.

My career is now heading towards a new chapter. As I mentioned, I'm not able to play in the juniors anymore. Do I have what it takes to play in SHL? When I think about it right now, I'm not sure. I'm mentally beaten. I loved that porridge so much. How easy it was to make, and the taste of it was something else. Then the bread, unreal. It just goes that we might not truly appreciate the things we have until something comes and shakes our world.

Perhaps a quick break will change how I feel. I know the off-season workouts need to start early this year. I have been talking with my agent and he thinks I need to work harder than ever before. He speculated that the only way I might make it to an SHL team is by impressing in the training camp. That includes showing up in shape, so I can't afford to rest for too long.

Towards a new chapter..... towards happier times....

(800) (ready to be graded)