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Leaving my Kind of Town
#1
(This post was last modified: 06-23-2021, 02:57 PM by JURT.)

Players' Tribune
Leaving my Kind of Town - Chicago
By Jean-Uhtred Ragnarsson-Tremblay


It hasn't been that long since I've been traded, yet it feels like forever ago; this thing is long overdue. As the beginning of the regular season approaches with vertiginous speeds, I need to pour my heart out here.

Hey Chicago, it's me, JURT. I know you're sad that I left, and trust me when I say I am too. I didn't want to leave you behind, but I had to keep moving forward. I hope to explain in this letter the "how" and the "why" of the decision that ultimately led to me being traded. I hope that it soothes the pain, if only a little bit, for a little while.

I met you for the first time in S54, when you drafted me 23rd overall in the draft. So many thoughts rushed into my head at that moment, and yet the one I remember as being my first reaction to hearing my name announced was : "God damn it, one rank later and my draft rank would've been the same as my jersey number. How cool would that have been?" Arguably, it would have been pretty sweet, but that thought was quickly replaced by many more important ones.

My first real reaction to being drafted to Chicago was about how I had progressed in S53 with the Colorado Raptors. I had been drafted to the Dinogang at the 57th rank. I was a longshot, I never had much offensive talent but I kept trying hard to play that style. It all changed in Colorado, I was now mature enough to realize I wouldn't cut it as an offensive threat, but I could work on the defensive side of my game and become the best shutdown center in the league instead of the worst playmaker around. A season later, I was drafted half a draft earlier in the big league. I never looked back to my childhood dream of lighting the league up, I had found a new role, a new goal, and I'd bring it with me to Chicago when the time came.

The second real reaction I had was : "That's one hell of a draft class for the Syndicate." Of course, none us are left in Chicago now. But at the time, Rotticus Scott, Vitek Vitecek and Cale Amundsen had all been drafted before me. Justin Keahi was drafted in the third too. Vitecek, Scott and I were going to be the next big line, or so I thought.

The third and last thing, and I still feel bad to that day for thinking it, was : "I hope they don't win a Cup until I'm called up." This was incredibly selfish, I know, but I couldn't help myself from thinking it. I didn't want to just win a Cup, I wanted to etch my name into the Syndicate's history as a member of the first conquest of the Challenge Cup in the franchise's history.

All in all, I was stoked at the opportunity of playing for Chicago.

But then, it kind of sucked for a while. I felt like I didn't quite fit in, whenever I was around the other prospects, the actual team and/or the alumni. I didn't really know anyone, there was no Raptors alumni and a lot of Berserkers, and as anyone who played in the SMJHL around that time I hated the Berserkers. So while I was quickly becoming a figure people knew and loved around Colorado, I couldn't find my place in Chicago. I already knew what my role on the ice would be once called up, but I couldn't find my role in the locker room. My interactions with the Syndicate were short and far in-between.

The first thing worth noting I remember saying in the locker room was after something none other than captain Corey said. At the eve of S57, as I was about to start my first season with the team, he said : "We will win the Cup this season". As the only rookie being called up that season, I responded right away : "If we do, you'll never hear the end of me saying it was entirely because of me". Everyone had a good laugh, and I started my first season as an SHL pro.

We did win the Cup that season. It's during that Cup run that I really met you, Chicago; the real you. With your energy, your passion, your love for every member of the team, your weird obsession with turtles that I quickly made my own. Maybe all we needed was actually hitting the ice together, but every feeling about not belonging left and never came back. I didn't find a place within the team, I had a place within the team. I felt my mind, my heart and my soul connect to the city, sometimes so much it was actually scary. It felt like you and me were one and the same.

Here's where it gets bad: we had won the Challenge Cup, and in my first season. In itself, it's not a bad thing, but I might still be here if we hadn't. I had two goals coming into the SHL and one of them was already fulfilled : to have my name on the first Cup in the Syndicate's history. The second was partly done too : proving myself to the world and showing without a doubt that a reliable shutdown center could be more valuable to a team than any flashy offensive player.

That's when the path I had to take became clear to me : I had to move. I couldn't get what I wanted in Chicago anymore, I had to go win another Cup elsewhere, the first Cup in another franchise's history. That way I would put my name in the history books another time, not just as a guy who won the Cup twice, but as the guy you needed on your team to win the Cup for the first time. That very accomplishment would also be the ultimate proof that every team needs a shutdown center to shadow the opponents best player, that this was the way to the Cup. Logical? I don't know. Arrogant? Most certainly so. But that's what I had in mind, and you know full well that when I want something, I'll do everything I can to get it.

That implied moving away from you, Chicago. I loved you and I always will, and I told you as much just as I'm telling the whole world right now. You have done so much for me and you made me realize who I am and what my place in this world really is. But you couldn't give me what I wanted, not while keeping me around all the time. We both know that would've made us unhappy; me not reaching my goals and you keeping me from it. That's why I had to leave you Chicago. I know it pains you, and it pains me too, but I also know you understand.

Know that I'm happy in Seattle. I have a lot of good friends here already, and we even had the chance to bring my brother over as a backup. I feel like I'll have an easier time finding my place here. I also know these guys will be around and I can count on them to pick me back up whenever I start missing you.

You'll always have a special place in my heart, Chicago, you're really just my kind of town.


Code:
1333 words, ready for [s]crying[/s] grading

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#2

Nice write up man, all the best in SEA!

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#3

I could post the Good 4 U lyrics in here again and just meme you but ugh. God.

I don’t even know what to say. I am just really sorry I was so caught up in my own bullshit when you first got here that I didn’t make you feel like you belonged right away.

I don’t know that I’m going to make many memories in my life that could be better than getting to win a Cup with you. And I know I don’t speak for everybody, but I don’t think I’m wrong when I say that we did need you, and I don’t think we would have gotten it done without you. I also just want you to know that you have had such a positive impact on me as a person. I am never going to forget the energy you brought to this locker room in S57, or that stuff you said in the third intermission during game five of the final that got me out of my own head before we went back out on the ice for OT.

You’re easily one of my favorite people - not even just in this league or in hockey in general but maybe out of all the people I’ve met in my life. Chicago is going to miss you, I’m going to miss you, I already do. I hope Seattle is so, so good to you, I hope they know what they have, I hope you get them a Cup (maybe you could wait until I’m retired?), I hope you are as loved there as you were (and still are) here.

I should have texted this to you. This is embarrassing. I’m going to go listen to Good 4 U now.

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#4

I truly believe we would not have won a cup without JURT. That rookie season really brought the team and the LR together. We have never been closer as a unit and while it was sad to know he had to leave, I'm happy he gets to live out his goals. He is going to do wonders in Seattle. Just know you always have a home in Chicago on and off the ice.

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#5

Really wanted to avoid crying about this again but it's only because it's this meaningful.

It's no secret how thick the ties to Newfoundland can be in Chicago. Yet some of the best people I've met on the site is thanks to being in Chicago and you're easily right at the top of that LIST, JURT.

The thing that hurts the most isn't why you left; in fact I respect the hell out of you for wanting to continue to pursue that chase, fighting against the odds. There's just now a JURT shaped hole in our lineup that won't ever get filled. It be what it be, and you be the GOAT in my eyes.

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#6

We're still so happy to have you on board in Seattle - let's do this thing Argonauts

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