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*NorwegianDemon* · 07-03-2021, 04:45 PM

I was approached by an American start up company to promote one of their new products which happens to be a phone. It was a mid-range phone that really nothing special about it and that didn’t offer anything that wasn’t already out there in other phones, except the fact that it had a bigger battery that most of his competitor in the same price range. The promotion consists of a couple social media posts and the company also gave me a phone to give out to one of my followers. My agents told me that we didn’t have anything to lose by going forward with this deal, so I gave it a go. Unfortunately, a few weeks later after I did my giveaway, the phone of the person who ended up winning ended up blowing up while charging on a table and set the thing on fire. He had to use a fire extinguisher to prevent his home from burning down. The company had warned about overheating possibility, but never to this extent.

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Nictox · 07-03-2021, 05:00 PM

I was offered a very good sponsorship when I first joined the league. It was for a bakery that sells French baked goods. It was a great idea! I am from France and love French baked goods! They presented different goods for me to try. They told me I could even name one after me. What would my idea baked good be? One that I could put my name on. Me being me, I didn’t want one good named after me. So I said, name the whole damn thing after me. Go big or go home, right? About 6 months go by and the Jean-Locke baked goods are selling like hot cakes. That is until McDonalds sent a letter saying to stop selling their hot cakes as “Authentic Jean-Locke Crepes.” That’s right. They recalled my Crepes because they were literally hot cakes rolled up with filling in them. The other items that the cafe was selling were also stolen and repurposed from other fast food restaurants. I dropped out of that as fast as I could and never looked back.

RIP Dangel #AD26 | RIP TDZ

DELIRIVM · 07-03-2021, 06:18 PM

Daniil Nikiforov landed a deal with local company, Old Bay Seasoning, making a special Nikforov branded version of Old Bay. But this special version was supposed to contain both Dill and Tarragon as a nod to Daniil being from Russia. But as people began using the spice they found that the spice mix didn't taste very good. The dill and tarragon didn't mix well with the mixture already used in old bay. Making sure that it wasn't off, they just decided to recall the whole batch. Many of the people trying out the spice mix said that it was like wrapping their crab or shrimp in a "old used sock". So Old Bay has considered rebranding it as the LPLL spice mixture after hearing rumors that the smells coming from his skates matches with what many were tasting with their Nikiforov Spice Blend. Overall the combination of Russian Spice and Fish usually goes together fairly well. But the mixture of common Russian spices and Old Bay seems to be too much for people.

[173 Words]

*Ferda* · 07-03-2021, 07:00 PM

Augustus "The Big Wanger" Wang has been working closely with his premier sponsor and business partner in SHL Kush to develop their brand new product named "Wang". Wang's Wang has been specially formulated to be the dankest strain of kush that the world has ever seen. Insider info has rumored that Wang contains an extreme amount of THC content nearing 1000g of THC per gram. Unfortunately, this is the equivalent of smoking elephant tranquilizer so people were getting too baked off of just a single toke. As a result, SHL Kush was instructed by the Canadian government to issue a recall, but it appears that all of their customers refused to return any of their Wang. For all we know, they could be too baked to even be able to ship it all back to them. At least they saved 20% using code WANG20 on SHLKush.com for their first order of WANG so they can't be that muffed up about it.

raymond3000 · 07-03-2021, 07:24 PM

As a long time star player in the Simulation Hockey League, Andreas Kvalheim has his share of sponsorship offers, marketing opportunities or whatever other publicity stunts his agent had brought to him. Normally, his agent and PR person were quite adept at filtering out the legitimate beneficial opportunities from the scams and frauds. But recently, with his Texas Renegades coming off a Challenge Cup win, Andreas had received an sudden influx of these offers, and unfortunately accepted one which turned into a total fiasco and caused his public image to be harmed. Kvalheim had signed on to become the public face of an emerging mattress company which promised to provide customers with a economical yet effective alternative to traditional expensive mattresses by using new and innovative materials. However, soon after the company started sales, customers began to report oddities with their new mattresses and several were experiencing weird skin conditions. The authorities got involved, and it turned out that the materials used in these mattresses did not meet federal regulations, and Kvalheim quickly did whatever he could to distance himself from this company.

Mooty99 · 07-03-2021, 07:31 PM

Being a bear and a sports star I naturally had to endorse something that encompassed both those aspects of myself, and so my 1st product endorsement was for a new brand of health supplements. You have heard of cod liver oil right? How about WALRUS LIVER OIL, 4x the vitamins and minerals and it acts as a natural stimulate. It was the perfect thing for me to endorse and boy was it popular. It it also something that bears have been taking for a very long time so I assumed it would not be a problem for humans, I was wrong. It turns out that while my new brand of walrus oil did certainly give humans all the vitamins they needed it had a funny side affect, rapid facial hair growth, so we got a few complaints especially from women. But all is not lost, the marketing team is currently repacking them for facially folically challenged men.

WC 157

*ZootTX* · 07-03-2021, 07:57 PM

Miguel Hefeweizen was ecstatic when his friend Duncan the Walrus approached him in regard to being a spokesperson for “Duncan the Walrus’ Fish Tacos” as he loves tacos of any kind and tries to help friends out wherever he can. Initially things were great. Folks loved the tacos and Duncan (and Miguel) were making money hand over fist. However, things quickly went downhill. To begin, people started getting sick after eating the tacos. After an investigation, it was found that the fish being used in these tacos was subpar in order to cut costs. What was happening, was the choicest fish cuts were miraculously disappearing and bad fish left in their place. Miguel didn’t want to believe it, but after seeing video footage of Duncan stealing the fish he had no choice but to sever ties with Duncan and his fish taco enterprise. When Miguel tried to confront Duncan over his fishy behavior, Duncan blocked him and told him to ‘talk to the flipper.’

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