Login

SlashACM · 07-04-2021, 10:58 PM

After a long day of phone calls, meetings with publicists, and reading twitter rants, you are exhausted. You finally have the defective product situation under wraps with minimal damage to your reputation. Phew. After a much needed rest, you wake up in the morning to about a million phone calls and a million texts!

It appears multiple major sports news outlets have reported a death of a beloved hockey player, and that hockey player is you! What's worse, the stories vary from site to site, with crazy/embarrassing details surrounding your "death" that have people mourning.. and laughing.

Written Task: Describe the details of your player's "untimely demise". What have the news stories written; How and where did they die? Was it embarrassing, crazy, an accident, not an accident? How did people react to this news, and how will your player do damage control to assure people that you are not in fact a clone of your former self, taking credit for the accomplishments of your now-deceased original? (150+ words)

Graphic Task: Depict the "death" or aftermath of the "death" of your player. Must depict one visual relating to hockey, the SHL, or your player.

You will receive 3 TPE for fulfilling all requirements.

All responses are due on Sunday, July 11th at 11:59 CST.

Affiliate claims from either PBE or ISFL are accepted; link directly to your post and note if your username is different there.
If you have any questions/concerns, please PM me.

This task is for SHL players and send downs only, it is not for SMJHL rookies.

***Faelax*** · 07-04-2021, 10:59 PM

ph

SlashACM · 07-04-2021, 10:59 PM

PT PASS

***hockeyiscool*** · 07-04-2021, 10:59 PM

PT PASS

Gumbaman · 07-04-2021, 11:01 PM

PT Pass

***notorioustig*** · 07-04-2021, 11:07 PM

https://youtu.be/YZEyGq5hExg

A viral video of what was believed to be Detroit Falcons star and Seattle Argonauts prospect Kermit Murphy falling to his death mad the rounds on the internet last night, with claims ranging from suicide over his lack of production this season to an assassination attempt by the St Louis Scarecrows. As the viral video took hold, a massive number of at least a dozen people began trying to get the #RIPKermit hashtag trending on Twitter, with a distinct lack of success. Conspiracy theorists leapt into action, wondering about the significance of the broken stereo on the ground next to the crumped frog. Reddit sleuths attempted to put together the sequence that led to the fall, resulting in this widely accepted theory: https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=3E4xAlzt...l=JonkariP.

When reached for comment, Murphy said "of course I'm not dead, that video has been on the internet for ages and I used it in my PT last week for fucks sake."

**JamesT** · 07-04-2021, 11:10 PM

Code:
Written Task: Describe the details of your player's "untimely demise". What have the news stories written; How and where did they die? Was it embarrassing, crazy, an accident, not an accident? How did people react to this news, and how will your player do damage control to assure people that you are not in fact a clone of your former self, taking credit for the accomplishments of your now-deceased original? (150+ words)

On the day of July 4, 2021 the hockey player for the Montreal Patriotes

James Truong was found unresponsive in his apartment complex in the morning of 1:10 AM. Paramedics arrived on the scene in about 5 minutes and tried their best to revive James but after trying for an hour, he was pronounced dead on the way to a nearby hospital. The autopsy report found that James overdosed on allergy medication and took 5x the recommended amount in daily usage. The city of Montreal was heartbroken to hear the passing of James as this was his first season with the newly formed team and was a fan favourite. James was nearing the end of his career as well and was looking forward to transitioning to post-hockey life. The team wore a JT patch on their jerseys for the remainder of the season to remember James. James' former team the Edmonton Blizzard

had a video tribute for James in their next home game and when the two teams faced off next, each player would unite at center ice to hold a moment of silence in memory of James.

(189 words)

*AgentSmith630* · 07-04-2021, 11:14 PM

PT Pass

***bluesfan55*** · 07-04-2021, 11:15 PM

it's been widely reported that hamilton steelhawks star mitchell van der heijden has passed away at the age of twenty seven. the swiss center reportedly died in a car accident, having drank twenty shirley temples while out at a bar in the beautiful city of hamilton before getting behind the wheel of his 2007 volvo sedan and crashing it into a tree at a speed of 90 miles per hour. when reached for comment, van der heijden, who looked healthy and uninjured, heavily disputed the claims. "if i was dead, i wouldn't be here responsing to you, right? sure, i was having a bit of fun after the san francisco game where i scored my first shl hat trick. i'm leading the league in goals so of course i'm gonna have some fun, but i'm not dumb enough to drink 20 shirley temples then drive myself home. i had 10 then got an uber like all smart people do.". does this debunk the claim that van der heijden is dead? maybe. but he could be dead so i don't know.

ty to @High Stick King @EvilAllBran and @Ragnar for the sigs

***ValorX77*** · 07-04-2021, 11:21 PM

The entire hockey world was stunned to hear that they found the apparent body of famed Anaheim player Videl Valor. The autopsy revealed a significant oxygen loss from decompression, which most people Believe that she flew way too high in the atmosphere, which explains some of the heat marks on her outfit. Another belief was that she was also intoxicated, as they found a mixture of cocaine and high levels of alcohol in her system as well, which may have given her delusions, which may have confused her when she was flying high in the skyline of Anaheim. Another report suggests why an airliner went down over Death Valley, believing that she flew too fast into the aircraft and disintegrating herself and heavily damaging the aircraft. The plane made it back, but charred clothing was found in the heavily damaged engine, which included a shirt reading "Anaheim Outlaws Hockey, #66". The hockey world will miss that dear Videl-San.
(159 words)

Zombiewolf · 07-04-2021, 11:29 PM

I don't wanna be alive
I don't wanna be alive
I just wanna die today
I just wanna die
I don't wanna be alive
I don't wanna be alive
I just wanna die
And let me tell you why

Thank you Brandon, Fish, GeckoeyGecko, Karey, Kit, takethehorizon, and Ragnar for the sigs!
[Image: Pw202QP.jpeg]

Player Page || Update page

Guriinwoodo · 07-04-2021, 11:31 PM

PBE Affiliate

*leviadan* · 07-04-2021, 11:33 PM

This is not the first time this has happened to Burlok and it won't be the last. It's actually very common on Sulfurgold farm to have false deaths called in. We call it "kartoffeltod" or "potato death" for all of you English folk. It usually happens right as our potato crop ripens and either me, or one of my family members, just can't help ourselves out in the fields.

We'll just get overwhelmed and jam a potato as deep into our throat as we can so that we're able to taste it in it's entirety. This process can take a few hours, as all of the oxygen leaves our body and is replaced by fresh spud chemicals. To an outsider it definitely looks like we're dead. To be honest... I'm not sure that we aren't. Regardless my family has been on the farm for enough generations that our throats know to expel the potato right before the point of no return. That's when we snap back into consciousness and go about our day like nothing happened.

So of course the news is reporting that I succumbed to potato death. It's not a surprise, but fortunately for the SHL it is not true. I did not die, I ascended to the potato realm for a few beautiful hours. It was incredibly peaceful, and I will never tell its secrets.

[Image: pin1_1.gif?ex=661a1734&is=6607a234&hm=b8...1bf5caed8&]

bjkman · 07-05-2021, 12:46 AM

The idea that Greg Davies passed away today, after celebrating the 4th of July is absurd. Even though the idea that a British mob found Greg Davies celebrating the holiday on a Pontoon celebrating the holiday with his teammates in a boat parade cheering while holding an American flag, kidnapped him then force-fed him biscuits and tea until he died, is very believable… the story in reality’s is far from true. While true that Davies was on a pontoon with his American teammates, he was simply taking pictures on a teammates’ iPad which had an Americano flag case, and yes… a group of British tourists were on a pontoon near to Davies and his teammates, that Davies later met with and cohabitated with, even eating and drinking with the British individuals, there was no kidnapping as confirmed by Davies and teammates, Davies just eventually fell asleep on the British pontoon, which was later docked at a different port from the team boat. The search was called off for Davies after pictures surfaced online and he answered texts and calls from teammates worried about his whereabouts. A simple situation blown out of the water by Twitter and social media. Davies is not expected to miss any games or be suspended due to this incident.

Code:
213 Words

steveoiscool · 07-05-2021, 01:33 AM

PT PASS

Navigation

Extra Menu

About us