Well it looks like I have gotten myself into a bit of a pickle. As many of you may know my family and I are quite active in supporting the development of ice hockey in South Korea. It would seem that our neighbors to the north have taken notice and have begun to use my likeness to promote the strength and grandeur of Kim Jong Un. First, to display the supreme leader's awesome power a video was circulated of a terribly off balance Kim winding up and somehow launching an absolute howitzer. The video then cuts to a radar gun that clocks in at 120 miles per hour followed by me collapsed on the ice in a pool of blood, video spliced together from my long career. To add insult to injury, thanks to deep fake technology, the next part of the video features me verbally fellating the big man and praising his unlimited hockey potential, asking for personal lessons. At least my bank account hasn't been touched.