It looks like someone got a hold of Slip McScruff's wallet last night.  He wakes up on Sunday morning with a pounding headache, maybe he was mugged, and he finds all kinds of low balance alerts on his phone.  They bought outrageous amounts of beer and pizza at the bar that Slip usually goes to.  You'd think they would recognize this guy was using a stolen card since Slip is there all the time, and I mean all the time.  Oh geez, while he was spending Slip's whole contract on $8 beers, he also took to twitter and tweeted some incendiary things on Slip's account.  Boasting about not being on the dead last team while actually being on the 3rd to last team.  Claiming that Montreal and San Francisco must be doping because they are 3 and 4 points up the standings.  He's even misspelling words and tagging players who haven't been on any of these four teams in years.

He went to the bar again today, as he normally does, and asked about this thief.  They popped open the security footage from the night before and caught him red handed.  That drunk bastard looked just like Slip, probably how he got away with the crime!