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*WithTheMoose* · 08-09-2021, 02:52 PM

With the draft rapidly approaching for the juniors league here and Adelie de Pengu having spent a season playing there, he decided to dive in and see what teams would be best to play for and give them each a rating. After all, it would be good for the incoming rookies to know which teams to avoid!

As a penguin, Adelie is very food focused so obviously the only thing that truly matters for these ratings is what do the teams offer locally for good eats and tasty treats! Let’s dive in quickly and get started.

Anaheim:
First team on the list are the Anaheim Outlaws! At first glance, Anaheim is terrible in terms of tasty treats. They are land locked and really don’t have any major lakes or rivers within Anaheim itself. How would Adelie find tasty fishes without water? One glance at the map and it looked like Anaheim was getting a big Fin terms of tasty treats. Pengu did at least find where they recently opened a fishing spot at the Santa Ana River Lakes They originally stocked rainbow trout and largemouth bass. They are both incredibly tasty treats with plenty of meat for a healthy penguin! Unfortunately they recently added catfish to the mix and catfish are too bony for Adelie, so it takes the lakes down in overall value. Only one spot to get fishes isn’t great and the variety of selections is small. This makes Anaheim an overall awful place for tasty treats.

Location Selection: F
Variety Selection: F
Overall Tasty Treats Grade: F

Anchorage:
Next up is the Anchorage Armada and let me tell you did this location absolutely blow Adelie away. Because of the shape and location of Anchorage, it has access on three sides to the Gulf of Alaska, which provides seemingly endless treats. More than that, Anchorage also has some pretty large lake lakes and while there aren’t very many of them, they do add some variety into the mix and give some alternatives to the sea snacks. The fish you can find in the area include salmon, halibut, lingcod, steelhead trout, rainbow trout, and even some pike! This place really has it all as a buffet is basically at Adelie’s fingertips anytime he wants to take a dip. With so much water, you never have to go far for a snack.Tasty treats indeed!

Location Selection: S
Variety Selection: A
Overall Tasty Treats Grade: A+

Carolina:
As it turns out, Carolina has a very large coastline that gives access to tons of tasty treats. In fact North Carolina has 12,331 miles of coastline on the Atlantic ocean. Having access to the Atlantic provides some of the largest fish known to man and the premier collection here are sailfish and marlins who come in fair massive sizes and have funny looking sword noses to boot. Other selections here include amberjack, bluefish, yellowfin tuna, bluefin tuna, blackfin tuna, king mackerel, Spanish mackerel, channel bass, wahoo, oceanic banita, barracuda, and many, many more. The list goes on for ages and it quickly becomes obvious that the selection available here in Carolina is absolutely mind boggling and hard to even begin to grasp. This doesn’t even include the inland fish and North Carolina has 58 lakes! Many of them are smaller, but it adds variety to what is already a baffling selection. It doesn’t have as much area to swim or as many places to find tasty treats as Anchorage, but it more than makes up for it with endless tasty options.

Location Selection: A
Variety Selection: S
Overall Tasty Treats Grade: A+

Colorado:
This brings us to our first landlocked location in the SMJHL with Colorado. Now Calorado isn’t a completely lost cause due to having a little over 4,000 lakes and reservoirs in the state, but very few of them are large and outside of a select few that offer serious ice fishing the variety is pretty sparse. They offer mostly a variety of trout. Kokanee salmon, and mountain white fish. The vast majority of their tasty treat population consists of specifically brook trout as they are one of the most prolific fish in the world. So why there are plenty of them, the variety leaves much to be desired. Mix this with no open ocean to enjoy his dining in and you have a fairly inopportune place for tasty treats.

Location Selection: D
Variety Selection: D
Overall Tasty Treats Grade: D

Detroit:
Obviously Detroit is mostly a metropolis which would offer no real tasty treats in itself as most major cities don’t typically feature large bodies of water down main street. As such, Pengu decided to open up his search to the state of Michigan as a whole and he was very surprised at what he found. At first glance he didn’t have a ton of hope for Detroit at all, but as it turns out the state of Michigan has 11,037 lakes that are sized at greater than five acres. Of those, they have 1,148 lakes that exceed 100 acres. We’re talking about massive bodies of water everywhere you look. 41.5% of the state is water. It is a swimmer paradise and gives tons of locations to go looking for tasty treats. How do they look in terms of variety though? While they may not have the open ocean to provide variety, they do offer a wide spread consisting of carp, chinook salmon, coho salmon, bullheads, Muskellunge, crappie, pike, and a few others. It isn’t a huge selection, but is enough to keep a penguin amused for a while and they certainly have a wide area to find treats at. Basically a diner on every street!

Location Selection: A
Variety Selection: B
Overall Tasty Treats Grade: B

Great Falls:
As another landlocked area, Great Falls is not promising at all and unlike Detroit it isn’t just because of the town its located in. Great Falls itself is uninspiring with its only real water feature being the Missouri River and things don’t get any more promising as you expand that into the entire state. Unlike Michigan which has tons of massive lakes, Montana only has Flathead Lake to really speak of and other places where the Missouri River opens up. Less than 1% of the state is water. This leaves Montana very limited in selections as well though they do house a great many species of trout, paddlefish, black crappie, perch, bluegill, burbot, and a few others. Their main selling point though is the legendary Montana trout. It’s the only place in the world you can get it and there are people all over who travel to Montana to have a chance to get this tasty treat. So while they lack in overall variety, they do offer at least one selection that you can get nowhere else and there is something to be said about exclusive choices. That alone keeps Great Falls out of the deep end.

Location Selection: F
Variety Selection: C
Overall Tasty Treats Grade: D

Kelowna:
What even is a Kelowna? Of all the locations Pengu had come across searching for tasty treats, this one seemed to be the most obscure. Turns out it just happens to be a landlocked city in British Columbia. While the city itself is founded next to a decent sized lake, Okanagan Lake, Kelowna doesn’t have much else to speak of in the area. Even if I open it up to the whole of British Columbia, which would be a stretch because it is a massive territory, there isn’t too much to add to the number of selections until you reach the ocean and that is more of Vancouver’s territory than Kelowna’s. So what can you get as tasty treats near Kelowna? It seems to be almost exclusively sockeye salmon and rainbow trout. There may be smaller options in some of the nearby smaller lakes, but nothing to really make your eyes pop. This makes Kelowna up there with Anaheim in worst tasty treat locations in the SMJHL.

Location Selection: F
Variety Selection: F
Overall Tasty Treats Grade: F

Maine:
When you look at Maine on a map, the first thing you notice is tons of bodies of water in the state as well as the fact it is attached to the ocean. Maine’s 12.8% water mass is 10th in the United States and it shows with the state having more than 6,000 lakes. Along with the many varieties of fish you can find in the Atlantic, Maine is also home to brook trout, lake trout, Arctic charr, landlocked salmon, Atlantic salmon, cusk, lake whitefish, smelt, alewife, shad, striped bass, sturgeon, and American eel. More than that large collection though, they also have some exclusivity with blueback trout which now can only be found in the lakes of Maine. Access to plenty of areas to go for a treat, wide varieties of treats to try, and exclusive treats you can only find local. Maine really seems to have it all and it has put them over every other location on this list so far. Of all the home teams Adelie has enjoyed going to this past season, Maine really offered the most variety for his appetite.

Location Selection: S
Variety Selection: S
Overall Tasty Treats Grade: S

Nevada:
Why? Just why? When going on a trip to find good eats and tasty treats, why would Nevada even be up for consideration? 0.7% of this state is water and it is completely landlocked to boot. There is no real water here to speak of and because its so much smaller than Montana, we can’t even put what small lakes they do have into consideration. Almost no choices of where to go to eat, a paltry variety at the basically one lake in the entire state. Is that lake even close to the stadium? Probably not. This is a terrible place for tasty treats and really isn’t even worth considering. Worst place for Pengu to visit during the season.

Location Selection: F-
Variety Selection: F-
Overall Tasty Treats Grade: F- (stinky, no fishes)

Newfoundland:
Now you’re getting into a place that is potentially incredible for tasty treats. At first glance, Newfoundland is quite literally an island and so it is surrounded on all four sides by water. More than that, almost 8% of the land mass in Newfoundland is also covered by water. You almost can’t go anywhere in Newfoundland without seeing it and so a quick meal is always just a hasty dip away. What about overall selection though? Well lets just say that Newfoundland is literally famous for fishing. Vast quantities of Atlantic salmon and brook trout bring people to Newfoundland in mass for fishing, but more than that they also have Arctic char, landlocked salmon, northern pike, lake trout, sea-run brook trout, whitefish, and many, many more. They don’t have anything overwhelmingly unique and their variety isn’t as great as somewhere like Maine due to the lack of unique choices at the inland lakes, but the pure, massive quantity of fish available in Newfoundland is mind blowing. You couldn’t ask for a better fishing location and every single time Adelie is in town, he absolutely stuffs himself to the brim.

Location Selection: S+
Variety Selection: A
Overall Tasty Treats Grade: S (Location, location, location)

Quebec City:
The only real advantage that Quebec City as is that they are situated on the St Lawrence River. Pengu didn’t want to completely discredit them, so he also gave them credit for Lake St John as they were the closest large city to them. Couldn’t give them the whole province though because again, provinces are massive! So really one lake and one river to speak of doesn’t give you a ton as far as location is concerned, so lets take a closer look at variety. Well lets just say this is where they got lucky. Brook trout, walleye, northern pike, Atlantic salmon, lake trout, landlocked salmon, Atlantic char, muskellunge, rainbow trout, burbot, lake trout, lake whitefish, and so many more. Having a fantastic inland lake really opens up the variety along with the number of sea fish that come into the St Lawrence River. This opens them up a bit and gives hope in what initially looked like desolation based on location and the lack of places you can actually find tasty treats.

Location Selection: F
Variety Selection: A
Overall Tasty Treats Grade: C

Regina:
While de Pengu has not yet made a trip to Regina as they were not yet a team in his rookie season, but Pengu did not think things could get worse than Nevada. He of course was right, but Regina isn’t much better. While located in one of the landlocked provinces of Canada, they also managed to pick a province that was only 6.5% water due to the inland lakes. You mean they’re all in northern Saskatchewan and Regina is in the south? Oh no. What are you even doing Regina? They do have Last Mountain Lake nearby at least, but even then it is a fairly small lake without much variety. Perch, pike, and walleye are all quite yummy, but the populations are kept small due to the smaller body of water and don’t offer much in overall selection for a picky palette. It is not a great place for tasty treats.

Location Selection: F
Variety Selection: F
Overall Tasty Treats Grade: F

St. Louis:
As we progress further down this list, the more desperate things look overall for the tasty treats in the SMJHL. St. Louis is yet another land locked city and while it does straddle two states, even if I gave them credit for both the Missouri side, which is 1.7% water, and the Illinois side, coming in at 4.1% water, neither side has much to offer. Thanks to having access to the Mississippi River, they do at least have a variety of bass and catfish, but as discussed before catfish tend to be too bony for de Pengu. This actually brings St. Louis into potentially the worst variety selection for Pengu while also being a terrible overall location for finding fish in general. No great places to dive in and not much there to try when you’re in.

Location Selection: F
Variety Selection: F- (Bass okay, catfish less so)
Overall Tasty Treats Grade: F

Vancouver:
We’re finally reaching our final team and it brings us to one that Pengu is finally excited to talk about again. Vancouver immediately gets points because they’ve got access to the sea and are actually surrounded by water on three sides! As they’re part of British Columbia, the inland lakes don’t help them much as most of them are to the far reaches of the north in the province and the ones that aren’t I ended up giving to their friends in Kelowna. It didn’t help much. As such we have to focus purely on what Vancouver can get from the sea and that alone brings a ton of variety. They have a half dozen different kinds of salmon, just as many species of trout, halibut, snapper, cod, and their waters are absolutely packed with a favorite of Pengu’s. Prawns. Penguins absolutely adore prawns and shrimps and will feast on them for hours if given the chance and as such, Vancouver reminds him of home. That alone puts Vancouver pretty high on the variety list. Tasty treats aside though, Pengu would like to give Vancouver a shoutout for their branding. While many whales are gentle, killer whales are one of the few natural predators for penguins. Some of Adelie’s friends have been eaten by killer whales. So down with the whales, go Vancouver, you the best! Back to tasty treats now. Vancouver has them. Their lack of inland lakes hurts variety a bit and there are still whales in the waters here which makes it somewhat dangerous to swim which also gives them a small knock. The irresistible tastiness of prawn limits it somewhat, so they’re a good destination! With a tradition of hecking whales.

Location Selection: A+ (Whales scary)
Variety Selection: A
Overall Tasty Treats Grade: A

And there we have it! Pengu’s list of the teams for their tasty treats and good eats! Hopefully you ll enjoyed.

GCool · 08-09-2021, 02:57 PM

While Anaheim is a short shuttle from the Pacific Ocean, I'd imagine proximity is a priority.

*WithTheMoose* · 08-09-2021, 03:09 PM

08-09-2021, 02:57 PMGCool Wrote: While Anaheim is a short shuttle from the Pacific Ocean, I'd imagine proximity is a priority.

This exactly! Don't want to make extra trips to the ocean while training for hockey games!
(Also ignore the fact that I didn't realize how close it was when I was looking at the map tbh)

SecondSucks22 · 08-09-2021, 07:02 PM

If I may, we have some of the greatest seafood restaurants in the world, and meals are comped for visiting teams

***Benpachi*** · 08-09-2021, 07:11 PM

finally! Some quality analysis! Thanks for putting in the legwork mouthwork(?)

***CampinKiller*** · 08-09-2021, 07:57 PM

You're off the team, bub

***Aleris*** · 08-09-2021, 08:13 PM

08-09-2021, 07:02 PMSecondSucks22 Wrote: If I may, we have some of the greatest seafood restaurants in the world, and meals are comped for visiting teams

I'm sorry are you our GM or on the board for VisitLasVegas.com??

[Image: Aleris-Sig3.gif?ex=66246b80&is=66231a00&...e44aac877&]

SecondSucks22 · 08-10-2021, 08:28 PM

08-09-2021, 08:13 PMAleris Wrote:
08-09-2021, 07:02 PMSecondSucks22 Wrote: If I may, we have some of the greatest seafood restaurants in the world, and meals are comped for visiting teams
I'm sorry are you our GM or on the board for VisitLasVegas.com??

¿Por que no los dos?

overdoo · 08-10-2021, 08:47 PM

Idk sometimes there are dead stuff on the road to eat

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