Login

SlashACM · 08-29-2021, 10:36 PM

This one is about hockey I swear.

On your never-ending quest to find a competitive edge you come across a mysterious salesman who opens his trenchcoat and offers a plethora of brightly colored pills. "Each pill will give you an extraordinary power," He says, "but at a cost".

He then explains the purpose of each pill:
-The red pill will give you amazing speed, but will also speed your digestive system. You will zip around the ice on your skates but must vacate your bowels every 15 minutes.
-The blue pill will give you ultra strength, but will render you blind. You will lay thunderous hits, and shoot the puck at incredible speed, but will need to rely on sound and instinct to know where to shoot and hit.
-The green pill will raise your intelligence tenfold (if you had any in the first place), but will transform your body into that of a child. You will see the ice like no one before and make incredible plays, but you stand no more than 3 feet tall. (Credit to @Geekusoid)
-The orange pill is allergy medicine.
-The pink pill will give you the fame of a Korean pop star, but not the talent of one.
-The brown pill will speed up your bowels like the red pill, but without the super speed.
-The purple pill is actually a grape jelly bean.
-The black pill will erase the current PT director from existence, but you will take their place.

Written Task: Tell us which pill you choose. Describe the effects either during the game, or off the ice as you live with the repurcussions of your choices! (150+ words)

Graphic Task: Depict your player in a two frame comic, one frame of them choosing a pill, and the next of the effects of your chosen pill. Can include speech bubbles if you'd like to make the effect more obvious!

You will receive 3 TPE for fulfilling all requirements.

All responses are due on Sunday, September 5st at 11:59 CST.

Affiliate claims from either PBE or ISFL are accepted; link directly to your post and note if your username is different there.
If you have any questions/concerns, please PM me.

This task is for SHL players and send downs only, it is not for SMJHL rookies.

SlashACM · 08-29-2021, 10:37 PM

The magenta pill gives me a PT pass

***hockeyiscool*** · 08-29-2021, 10:37 PM

I love all of the options, I would choose something that would be more realistic for Dwight Knight's current path. I would choose to pick the blue pill. Dwight Knight is already known for his extreme strength from his history for being the world champion in the Caber toss for multiple years running. I welcome the idea of Dwight Knight delivering some booming hits and assuming this ultra Strength gives Dwight the ability to create some NHL Hits level hits where every time a player is hit while they are along side the boards it sends the player through the glass; then the blue pill is the one for me. I would then over time develop Daredevil like awareness and use that to overcome my blindness. It may pose two major problems. One being that during playoffs or in noisy stadiums it would be difficult to know what is going on but that should be easy to overcome with time. The other potential problem being that, if I really am that strong I may take shots that will go through the nets and goals may not count or I may injure opposing goalies, the later being more of a perk than a problem.

[203 words]

***sve7en*** · 08-29-2021, 10:38 PM

Jimmy Wagner would take the orange pill, in a last ditch hope of a cure. Wags, like a few across the league suffers greatly each time the season rolls around. He suffers from massive debilitating allergies - but not of a normal ailment - Jimmy Wagner is allergic to offensive production in every sense of the term. Thankfully he's unaffected when the Panthers don't have the puck, his defense is solid for a mid tier team, but it all falls apart as soon as possession changes.

Goals? cough. Assists? sneeze. His nose runs as fast as he does whenever he thinks about putting the puck in the back of the net. His eyes water when he looks up ice to find a target for a pass. The man is allergic to being productive on the ice, and he is desperate for a cure. The city of Los Angeles and the Panthers depend on it.

152 words

***TheSparkyDee*** · 08-29-2021, 10:38 PM

pt pass

***yosh*** · 08-29-2021, 10:38 PM

Vaseline Podcalzone would take the purple pill. Why? Because grape jelly beans kinda slap, not gonna lie.

Okay, truth be told, Pod has rarely tried out candies, let a lone jelly beans. There really aren't that many candy shops in his hometown of Vladivostok in Russia. Ever so often, he might be lucky enough to try some chocolate, and that's only on the ever so rare special occasions.

So, when he came to North America, he definitely splurged a bit on some candies. Jelly beans ended up becoming his favorite thing, up until he tried out bean boozles with his teammates on the Newfoundland Berserkers. Since then, he doesn't have jelly beans UNLESS he knows that it's not bean boozles.

Plus, knowing that it's just a regular old grape jelly bean is reassuring for him, since all of the other pills seem to have some wacky side effects. He'll play it safe and not gamble on the risks of taking a different bean.

WC: 163

[Image: YOSHI.png?ex=65f214ee&is=65df9fee&hm=80f...e73badf86&]

***Pythonic*** · 08-29-2021, 10:41 PM

pt pass

natedoeshockey · 08-29-2021, 10:45 PM

Patya am taking pink pill. Here am why Patya making this much difficult decision. Am looking at side effects of many pills. WOWEE! MANY SIDE EFFECT! Patya am already many fasts, and am not for want much pooping. Patya am only for sometimes hitting, am not wanting for be blind! Blind Patya not seeing many beautifuls Kristen Landry, suits of much expensive, and much fast cars! OH NO! CANNOT BEING HAVE THIS! Patya am already smart - maybe am not smartest, but am not want for sacrifice much height for become regular geniusing man. Patya am not having allergies, Russia make system immunity many strongs. Brown pill for much pooping like red pill, and Patya not interesting. Purple much enticing! Patya like jellybeans! But, Patya am just go buy jellybeans. What is PT director? Patya am not knowing what this mean.

So, Patya am tell you again for much take pink pill. "Oh no Patya, not have talent of Kpop star!" Patya am tell you this: Kpop star many manufacture. Am many talents, but not for the playing of the hockey. Patya am not care if not dance like BTS J-Hope or sing like BTS Jimin. Patya am for playing of the hockey! Patya am much hockey skill having! Patya am verified superstar of Russia! Patya am become most famous for take small pink pill! WOWEE! How can be even more famous? Patya am not knowing, but Patya am want for make much rubles for being most famous of person on planet. Patya hockey skill am not worse, Patya am keeping it many greats! Free publicity for Patya! WOWEE! Patya am being on all billboard all over much big world! Patya am taking over! Everyone am for Patya giving many hearts and loves! This dream of Patya!

suavemente · 08-29-2021, 10:50 PM

the Purple pill.

GRAPE IS GOOD JELLY BEAN I have transformed into a realm of grape-dom. With grape vision i conquer the ice with white and red flavor. From crisp chianti to a savory cabernet sauvignon. The grape pill allows you see the vine of reality and grow through the volcanic soil of nature to flourish with sour juice on the realm of ice hockey. Kalashnikov post purple pill will be known as Khangis-Grape or Grapehis-Khan if you will. The sweet taste of the purple pill intoxicates the crowd with its divine aroma and allows for the most euphoric of arena experiences. A divine purple which flutters and floats through the jelly bean trees of candyland makes for a ambrosia equal in flavor only to the holy and sanctimonious Baja Blast sourced from the realms of the Taco Bell Kingdoms. Chicken Quesadilla with purple pill will allow for the best of combinations to move the Baltimore Platoon into the cup finals.

I eat the grape.

***bluesfan55*** · 08-29-2021, 10:53 PM

mitchell van der heijden thought very carefully about which pill he would take. then the mvp realised that his one weakness would be remedied by taking the pill: his speed. van der heijden was always a middle of the pack skater, and adding blazing speed to his game would make him unstoppable. he can easily see himself playing better defense, as he'll be able to backcheck with ease, as well as score more goals as he can be in the right place before anyone else can catch him. his ability to avoid hits will lead to him not having to worry about having cte in the future, and the most important impact it has is on his bowels. van der heijden has notoriously poor bowels and consistently deals with constipation. the pill will make him feel better as he can shit to his heart's content and not worry about consipation. however, van der heijden will have to grow accustomed to sleeping on the toilet

ty to @High Stick King @EvilAllBran and @Ragnar for the sigs

*AgentSmith630* · 08-29-2021, 10:55 PM

PT Pass

**Lime** · 08-29-2021, 11:00 PM

The orange pill is really convenient because my allergy pills got destroyed on my road trip recently and my insurance won't cover replacements so that is really good timing. Since it doesn't say one pill per person im gonna take the red pill too which I'm pretty sure is just a caffiene pill so I might have just done that anyway for the extra energy and I can take a shit when I'm done with a shift no problem so these are pretty useful pills not gonna lie. Pink pill would be interesting to try because I'm already a famous Netflix star and hockey player with no singing talent so idk if that would turn me into like a Michael Jackson level household name or what but that might be fun so I could take that one too and then finish it off with the purple one cause it probably tastes better than the others so then we chillin

Navigation

Extra Menu

About us