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S61 PT#3: Locker Rooms

I have chosen prompt one, as the bad luck of the locker room's plumbing taking a hit is something that would clearly happen to me. It's nice to know that the owners of the team are looking out though and are investing $400 million into the repair instead of using it to buy diamond studded swimming pools. The first upgrade is expanding the space by knocking into some other part of the arena so that every player had a large stall that can comfortably fit all necessary equipment. Each player gets a large comfortable chair and with the amount of money on offer, a personal assistant at their beck and call to fetch whatever is required. No longer will players have to find anything for themselves, instead relying on others to do absolutely everything for them as clearly their job is too difficult to even contemplate basic tasks. The centre of the locker room has a hidden area beneath the floor which is raised if the team wins. This area houses something different after each win. One time it may be a luxury watch for each player, another it may be champagne and a fancy buffet. The main goal is winning, and this incentive is sure to have everyone determined not to miss out.

I've chosen the first prompt, even if I'm usually not a fan of these types of PT, although I've never publicly talked about it.
It was a pleasant surprise when I was approached to redesign the locker rooms, as I'm a huge Sims fan and like every other Sims player, I spend most of the time building and redecorating rooms. Being on the Edmonton Blizzard, we have a cow playing for us, so we have to make sure we're accomodating it with its own corner when it can have a shit and eat in peace, but let's be honest, it really stinks so we'll baricade it a bit. We also have a turtle in our prospect pool, so I'd find a nice corner to recreate its habitat to ensure it would play to the best of its abilities. For the rest of the locker room, I'd make it extra comfortable, full of cushions and seat warmers, cause Edmonton is really cold. For the visiting locker room, I'd make it extra cold on purpose, so our opponents would be freezing and that would be nice for us.

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Promt 1 

I think every locker room should have a dank ass snack table. I have actually seen the inside of a Professional Baseball teams clubhouse and the snacks are amazing. It's like everything you could think of, I bet they ask the players what they want and stock it up before every game. Thats how I would want it. The second thing you need is a loud stereo system. Something that the players can really bring the house down with when there's no media around. Music helps sets the vibe for any space. Third thing would be a big tv and some sort of game console. You gotta keep the guys loose with distractions, throw in a ping pong table for that reason too. I would have an on call masseuse and maybe a psychologist too (thanks ted lasso)

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(This post was last modified: 09-12-2021, 11:26 PM by SewingWithNancy.)

PROMPT 1:

The LA locker room is going to get huge upgrades after the massive shit storm (if you will) that happened last week. After the entire team had food poisoning we figured that we would take steps to not only make sure that it wouldn't be a mess ever again, but also a wonderful quality of life upgrade.  Every single locker "closest" area will have a false back on it and will have its own bathroom behind it. It wont be huge and its not a full "dressing room" or anything, but it will be its own 5x5 room with a toilet and a fan. From now on, every single player on the roster will have their own private spot to drop trow and blow out their insides in their own private space. No longer will the team have to deal with someone having an awful dinner or eating something they shouldn't have. No longer will Gatez have to deal with the aftermath of Slothface eating eggs. To go along with all of these toilets, the locker room is getting a foosball table and a few pool tables, but those are obviously just icing on the preverbal cake.

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Former Player

I am writing for Prompt 2, and the Discord locker room of my team the Tampa Bay Buccaneers. When I was drafted by them I did not know too much what to expect. I was not really too open in the league or in the forums or public facing Discords, so most of my interactions came from the Kraken locker room. It had (and has) some people from TBB in there and I liked them a lot but they were not mega active back at the time, so I pretty much went in there blind.

I was super positively surprised by the welcome and the great people we have in there. Since my last few real-life weeks have been kind of stressful I did not participate that much but from the first minute in there I felt right at home. The humour is perfect and vibes extremely with me, the people? Amazing! I love them all, some I knew from other leagues like the ISFL but I was not really close to anyone in there in the beginning but in the last few months I started to love everyone in there. From fun discussions about the area I live in with roastpuff, to amazing banter with Muford and the fun that trella brings to the LR it is an amazing place and I am very thankful to have been drafted into here.

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Canada Timber  Jean-Jacques François Jacques-Jean || S74  Timber Canada
Austria Barracuda Kraken  Finn von Murphenstein || S57 - S72  Kraken Barracuda Austria 

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I think that I've been blessed with locker rooms since returning to the site. First, I started off in Anaheim and the team there was great. We weren't super loud or anything, but it was a nice group of people who genuinely cared about each other and would just chat about whatever was going on. Next was Chicago and I mean everybody knows Chicago's discord is a dead LR. Inactive GM's, dead LR's and still somehow won a Challenge Cup, kind of a mystery... kinda of embarrassing the other GM's let that happen. I have a lot of people in that inactive LR to thank for keeping me around in the SHL - they're truly just wonderful people and I honestly believe that even if the site shut down and hockey stopped, we'd still hang out and chat shit everyday. Then came Lethbridge/Newfoundland and what started as a dead LR became this absolute beast. There's been some unforgettable memories made there and probably too many inside jokes. Y'all probably hear too much about it so we'll leave it at that.

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Berserkers     -       syndicate      -     Berserkers

prompt #1

With the locker rooms in need of some impromptu remodeling, this would be the opportunity to make it an absolute haven for the team and hell for the opposition. No expenses would be spared in making the home locker room comfortable, with padded stall seats, the best washing machine and dryer on the market for the team clothing, and a built-in stereo system. For the bathroom upgrades, the toilets would be replaced with those Japanese-style ones that are heated, and the sinks and dryers would be all touchless. Nothing but the best for the Edmonton Blizzard. For the opposing locker room, while I wouldn't make it maliciously constructed with death traps, I'd just make it really annoying to get the opponents off their game. Sinks and showers with really weak water pressure and temperature that's never quite what you want it to be, toilets that barely have enough space between the top of the bowl and the water level (if you get what I mean), and hardwood locker stalls that are too small to fit the players' gear.

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Sig credits to @sköldpaddor @ihatereyson

(Prompt 2)

So I spend most of my SHL time on the Buffalo discord. Seattle has a great LR don't get me wrong but there is always something going on in the Buffalo LR. I spend a lot of my time, like 85% of it posting cursed images in one of the side channels. The channel is now informally known as 'nsfv' as in "Not Safe from Vandy" rather than not safe for work. It's hard to find just one great memory from there. Of course the cup wins with Vandy scoring in Game Seven was pretty rad. Also too are various memes, my person favorite being when I made a pun about the Wolfpack and half the server told me to leave. That was fun. Also there's always fun to be had when #LeeOut is spammed. Seriously, that was the first meme I learned about other than :simon: on the discord.

I just love the Buffalo LR, great group of welcoming guys, gals and non-binary pals.




With wanna be Finn and the rest of the simulation hockey league’s buffalo stampede of the eastern conference’s northeast, formerly Great Lakes division, shitting excessively everywhere following non stop partying with their challenge cup win. These alcoholic poops forced the stampede owners to completely redevelop their locker rooms. In an attempt to try and avoid this situation from arising again in the future, the owners of the simulation hockey leagues Buffalo stampede have repurposed their locker room into 17 small, personal locker rooms. Each locker room comes equipped with a changing area, and a personal toilet, in an effort to find who the shittiest culprits are and help eliminate future need of mass pipe replacement, instead only having to replace the pipes in a select few personal locker rooms.

Each player will have the ability to spend a finite amount of money in order to customize their change room as they want, and possible options include fuzzy carpet, a bidet, neon lights, and more!




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Thanks to everybody for the sigs :peepoheart:

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The Buffalo Stampede of the Simulation Hockey League has a lovely locker room filled with a lot of lovely people. There are a few people out there that sees us as a bunch of meanies and that is pretty much because of the hivemind that @WannabeFinn has created in this locker room. I would not say that is our fault it is mainly just a WBF thing. However, inside the locker room it is much different. Wannabefinn is a very nice person. There are also people like Evok and Ragnar who brighten the locker room up. There is one funny story that I would like to share. Wannabefinn is a very hands off GM who does not help at all with testing. The one time he did try and test sim he was frustrated because he could not figure out how to start. It turns out he opened up EHM and didn't even realize what game SHL sims on! That was a highlight of the Buffalo LR experience.

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Thank you Brandon, Fish, GeckoeyGecko, Karey, Kit, takethehorizon, and Ragnar for the sigs!
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Player Page || Update page

If you talk to ten different contractors, you are gonna get ten different price quotes. Now, we got 400 million dollary-doos to shove into this poop-shoot (no pun intended), so we should be able to get a real swanky poop chamber. The real key to designing and building a commode is noting outlets and making sure to keep everything in perspective. Sure, it'd be great to have a steam room in your bathroom, but can you imagine pounding out five pounds of Ethan Duncan's mom's chilli into a toilet while sweating your face off in a sauna? Nah, nah. We ain't about that.

We're gonna keep it simple.

A 4' x 12' room with totally encased stalls - not just doors, but roofs (rooves?) and windows... no wait, no windows. But definitely a roof. It'll be the most privacy you've ever had. We will hire bathroom attendants to make sure everyone pulls their trousers up all the way, make sure everyone's breath smells nice, and make sure everyone's examined their zipper. Further, we will hire custodial staff to monitor the bathroom day and night - lord knows when we have visiting teams, their own bathrooms are gonna be disaster zones.

That should do the trick.

Platoon Rob Wright Battleborn

I have only been in the Hamilton Steelhawks locker room for a short while, ever since JR changed the locks on the Platoon LR without telling me and told me that I was banned from the mickey mouse fan club for life. But so far the people from Hamilton seem like just my kind of dudes: absolute shitposters. I ran into some old faces i know and love like Waters and Toast. Theres a bunch of memes that probably most people find incredibly inappropriate but I find hilarious. so much random shit that makes no sense, and I'm all about it. I even searched up my name in the LR as I do as I am accustomed to finding people talking shit about me. But there were not many mentions of me, and the few I found were positive, so that made me happy Smile there was also an old post of someone asking a math question and asking another person to send a picture of the problem to me so I could help solve it for them, and I think that is hilarious lol

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Wow we need new locker room for hockey league player known as aleksander kozlov who is currently a player in the simulation hockey leagues division that is located in one of the conferences on the simulation hockey league franchise that is widely known and loved called the tampa bay barracuda since they broke it, this is great news for simulation hockey league player aleksander kozlov of the tamap bay barracuda. aleksander kozlov my player would want to have a treadmill and weight racks in new locker room to get a workout in between periods. aleksanderk ozlov cause he loves playing in tamap and tampa getting new gear for locker room is awesome so our hero alkesander kozlov would like to install treadmill and weights like I said to make it very good, I'm sure other teammate will enjoy these very much too so all in all it is very good upgrades for the team and making gold out of the current crisis leading to revamp of room

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Barracuda S56 1st Overall Barracuda

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