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*thiefofcheese* · 09-16-2021, 01:52 PM

Hi all! It's been a long time, but I have come back to educate you all on some extremely important facts about Cheese. Everyone always likes to refer to Cat Facts, but Cheese Facts are really much more interesting to those sophisticated people found playing fake hockey.

For those of you who may not know me, let me start with a quick introduction.

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(In reality you aren't missing anything, but I need to add as many words as possible in order to get lost more of that much needed cash and I had no other place to put this gif so you better enjoy it!)

I've spent the last year doing intense amounts of research on cheese (and you all thought I just dropped off the earth, right?) and I'm here to present you with very important life knowledge. You may ask yourself "Why do I need to know this?" but these facts have tons of very good uses.

Next time you are trying to land that new client dazzle them with some facts about cheese. They can't possibly say no to that deal when talking to such a person of knowledge and stature.
Prepping for that important interview and a bit nervous? Wow them with your knowledge of the world's best dairy product and you'll be sure to get 10% more money than advertised
Your kid think they are a know it all? Put those little brats in their place with your vast knowledge of all things cheese
Broke and needing to feed your cheese habit? You can't possibly lose a spot on Jeopardy when they see your limitless knowledge. "I'll take Cheese Facts for $2,000 Ken!" (Side note, that doesn't roll off the tongue as well as Alex)

So without further ado....

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We eat a lot of cheese

Pizza Hut is the largest cheese-using fast food giant, it uses approximately 300 million pounds of cheese annually, mostly on pizza. I think we can all agree Pizza Hut kinda sucks, but that's a lot of cheese!
Cheese production around the globe is more than the combined worldwide production of coffee, tobacco, tea, and cocoa beans. Take that Nestle!
U.S. per capita cheese consumption is about 34 pounds per person—that’s more than one full ton of cheese during the average lifetime. The French eat the most cheese, putting away an average of 57 pounds per person a year. I do love a good Croque-Monsieur.
More sheep and goats are milked around the world than cows.

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Cheese Effects

There are many studies that confirm that cheese is highly addictive, and it has some similarities to the effects of drugs. Cheese contains a chemical that can trigger opioid receptors in the human brain. When cheese is digested, it breaks down into an opioid. Anyone got some Naloxone?
Stilton blue cheese is known to frequently cause odd, vivid dreams.
A 2005 study found that eating cheese 30 minutes before bed helps you sleep better.

There is big money in cheese

Donkey cheese is the most expensive cheese in the world. It’s made in Serbia and is known as Pule. 1 Pound can be sold for as much as $600–$1,000.
Moose cheese costs around $420 per pound, since each milking takes two hours, and must be done in complete silence
The terms “Big Wheel” and “Big Cheese” originally referred to those who were wealthy enough to purchase a whole wheel of cheese.

More to know about cheese

Cheese is an ancient food whose origins predate recorded history. Clearly humans are meant to love cheese.
People who love cheese are called 'turophiles'
Someone who is a seller of cheese is known as a 'cheesemonger'
Collecting cheese labels is known as ‘tyrosemiophilia’
If the smell of stinky cheese reminds you of the smell of feet, it’s no coincidence: Both contain the same bacterium, called Brevibacterium linens.
Italy’s Credem Bank takes Parmesan cheese from local producers in exchange for cheap loans (charging 3-5% interest, depending on quality) & a fee ensuring the cheese matures properly (2 yrs) in the bank vault (cheese is sold if the loan defaults). Around 430,000 Parmesan wheels ($200M+) are stored there.
Albertville, France’s electricity is powered by Beaufort cheese. Since whey is unnecessary to make Beaufort cheese, bacteria is added to the whey. This transforms the whey into biogas. This gas is then fed through an engine which heats water to 90°C (194°F) to generate 2800 MWh/yr of electricity. – Source
The most stolen food item in the world is cheese, with 4% of all cheese being sold end up stolen. I've been telling everyone there is a HUGE demand for black market cheese, but no one ever wanted to believe me. Suck on that! – Source
American Cheese (Looking at you Kraft) cannot be legally sold as “cheese” in the United States. It must instead be labeled as “cheese product,” “cheese food,” or “American Singles,” since its manufacturing process varies so significantly from that of other cheeses. So put that shit away and get some real cheese for your next sandwich.
Scientists have successfully created cheese using human bacteria collected from toes and belly buttons. I believe we have all said at one time that some cheese smells like feet and it looks as though it may have been! Just hopefully not @notoriousTRON's feet - those things are foul.
In the 2013 American Cheese Competition, only one cheese was entered in the Dry Jack category, it came in third. The judges chose to not award first or second.
In the United States the month of June is National Dairy Month and the last week of June is National Cheese Week.

Not really a fact, but Google served me THIS when doing my "research" (I'll take some extra cash graders!) and thought it was worth sharing.

Well that's all for today my fellow Cheese Heads (talking to you @BrewskyBoy). I'll be honest, I didn't really save any facts for a follow up post, but if this goes anything like prior attempts, I'll be broke pretty soon and will need more cash and will be spamming you with more unsolicited cheese facts so stay tuned!

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