this guy stinks

Sebastien Regazzoni || C || Hamilton Steelhawks || 1276 TPE
Birthplace: Bern, Switzerland
Height/Weight: 6'3", 200 lbs
SHL Stats
S71 || HAM || GP: 66 G: 17 A: 25 PTS: 42 +/-: -23 PIM: 32 H: 75
S72 || HAM || GP: 66 G: 28 A: 31 PTS: 59 PIMS: 55 +/-: 7 H: 89
S73 || HAM || GP: 66 G: 24 A: 33 PTS: 57 PIMS: 34 +/-: -2 H: 81
S74 || HAM || GP: 66 G: 12 A: 37 PTS: 49 PIMS: 43 +/-: -8 H: 83
S75 || HAM || GP: 66 G: 11 A: 51 PTS: 62 PIMS: 39 +/-: 22 H: 66
SHL Playoff Stats
S71 || HAM || GP: 5 G: 2 A: 1 PTS: 3 +/-: -5 PIM: 2 H: 5
S72 || HAM || GP: 5 G: 1 A: 0 PTS: 0 +/-: -5 PIM: 0 H: 7
SMJHL Stats
S67 || ANC || GP: 66 G: 25 A: 21 PTS: 46 +/-: -5 PIM: 6 H: 107
S68 || ANC || GP: 66 G: 20 A: 41 PTS: 61 +/-: 5 PIM: 30 H: 138
S69 || ANC || GP: 66 G: 20 A: 33 PTS: 53 +/-: -3 PIM: 18 H: 142
S70 || ANC || GP: 66 G: 12 A: 23 PTS: 35 +/-: -54 PIM: 28 H: 78
Career SMJHL Regular Season Stats
GP: 264 G: 77 A: 118 PTS: 195 +/-: -57 PIM: 82 H: 465
SMJHL Playoff Stats
S67 || ANC || GP: 5 G: 4 A: 1 PTS: 5 +/-: -2 PIM: 0 H: 11
S68 || ANC || GP: 10 G: 4 A: 3 PTS: 7 +/-: 7 PIM: 4 H: 24
Career Milestones
Drafted 20th overall by Anchorage, S67 SMJHL Draft
Drafted 4th overall by Hamilton, S68 SHL Draft
Voted Anchorage Armada captain, S69



Mitchell van der Heijden || C || Philadelphia Forge || 925 TPE
Birthplace: Alkmaar, Netherlands
Height/Weight: 6'2", 205 lbs
SHL Stats
S54 | NOLA | GP: 50 G: 8 A: 10 PTS: 18 PIMS: 16 +/-: 0 H: 24
S55 | NEW | GP: 50 G: 15 A: 19 PTS: 34 PIMS: 14 +/-: 2 H: 70
S56 | NEW | GP: 50 G: 16 A: 11 PTS: 27 PIMS: 26 +/-: -17 H: 65
S57 | NEW | GP: 66 G: 20 A: 28 PTS: 48 PIMS: 10 +/-: -37 H: 62
S58 | HAM | GP: 66 G: 22 A: 38 PTS: 60 PIMS: 22 +/-: 25 H: 92
S59 | HAM | GP: 66 G: 21 A: 37 PTS: 58 PIMS: 29 +/-: 37 H: 101
S60 | HAM | GP: 66 G: 49 A: 50 P: 99 PIMS: 6 +/-: 14 H: 97
S61 | HAM | GP: 66 G: 30 A: 57 PTS: 87 PIMS: 10 +/-: 49 H: 122
S62 | HAM | GP: 66 G: 48 A: 38 PTS: 86 PIMS: 8 +/-: 32 H: 105
S63 | HAM | GP: 66 G: 30 A: 51 PTS: 81 PIMS: 18 +/-: 47 H: 103
S64 | HAM | GP: 66 G: 30 A: 43 PTS: 73 PIMS: 8 +/-: 9 H: 103
S65 | PHI | GP: 66 G: 13 A: 37 PTS: 50 PIMS: 20 +/-: 25 H: 134
S66 | PHI | GP: 66 G: 15 A: 24 PTS: 39 PIMS: 30 +/-: -19 H: 116
S67 | PHI | GP: 66 G: 8 A: 27 PTS: 35 PIMS: 20 +/-: 4 H: 140
Career Regular Season Stats
GP: 876 G: 325 A: 470 PTS: 795 PIMS: 237 +/-: 172 H: 1338
SHL Playoff Stats
S54 | NOLA | GP: 17 G: 7 A: 5 PTS: 12 PIMS: 4 +/-: 1
S56 | NEW | GP: 6 G: 0 A: 3 PTS: 3 PIMS: 4 +/-: -4
S57 | NEW | GP: 5 G: 1 A: 0 PTS: 1 PIMS: 2 +/-: 0
S58 | HAM | GP: 19 G: 3 A: 7 PTS: 10 PIMS: 2 +/-: 2
S59 | HAM | GP: 11 G: 2 A: 5 PTS: 7 PIMS: 0 +/-: 4
S60 | HAM | GP: 10 G: 2 A: 3 PTS: 5
S61 | HAM | GP: 19 G: 9 A: 16 PTS: 25
S62 | HAM | GP: 14 G: 7 A: 12 PTS: 19
S63 | HAM | GP: 25 G: 10 A: 12 PTS: 22
S64 | HAM | GP: 17 G: 7 A: 17 PTS: 24
S65 | PHI | GP: 7 G: 4 A: 5 PTS: 9
S66 | PHI | G: 7 G: 1 A: 2 PTS: 3
S67 | PHI | GP: 7 G: 0 A: 4 PTS: 4
Total SHL Playoff Stats
GP: 172 G: 55 A: 93 PTS: 148
SMJHL Stats
S50 | ANC | GP: 50 G: 14 A: 14 PTS: 28 PIMS: 6 +/-: -1 H: 21
S51 | ANC | GP: 50 G: 20 A: 27 PTS: 47 PIMS: 17 -/+: 11 H: 15
S52 | ANC | GP: 50 G: 25 A: 28 PTS: 53 PIMS: 29 +/-: 7 H: 62
S53 | ANC | GP: 50 G: 26 A: 26 PTS: 52 PIMS: 24 +/-: 12 H: 109
Total SMJHL Reg. Season Stats
GP: 200 G: 85 A: 95 PTS: 180 PIMS: 79 +/-: 29 H: 207
SMJHL Playoff Stats
S50 | ANC | GP: 11 G: 1 A: 4 PTS: 5 PIMS: 0 +/-: -6
S51 | ANC | GP: 12 G: 5 A: 7 PTS: 12 PIMS: 2 +/-: 7
S52 | ANC | GP: 6 G: 2 A: 2 PTS: 4 PIMS: 0 +/-: 1
S53 | ANC | GP: 7 G: 0 A: 3 PTS: 3 PIMS: 0 +/-: -1
Total SMJHL Playoff Stats
GP: 41 G: 8 A: 16 PTS: 24 PIMS: 2 +/-: 1
Accolades
Won S51 4 Star Cup with Anchorage
Won Silver Medal with Switzerland, S51 IIHF
named best forward, S51 WJC
named to second team all SMJHL, S52
named Anchorage alternate captain, S51/S52
named Anchorage captain, S53
named first team all SMJHL, S53
won Ideen Fallah Award (SMJHL Awards Committee MVP), S53
named SMJHL All-Star, S51-S53
won S54 Challenge Cup with New Orleans
scored Challenge Cup-winning goal, S54
named New England alternate captain, S55
#15 retired by the Anchorage Armada
Challenge Cup winner with Hamilton, S58/S61/S63
SHL All-Star, S60-S63
Karpovtsov and McDonald winner, S60
Sarmad Khan winner, S60
Ron Mexico winner, S60
First Team All-SHL, S60
Gold medal winner with Switzerland, S65
Member of the Triple Gold Club
SHL Hall of Famer
Draft Things
drafted 11th by Anchorage in S50 SMJHL Draft
drafted 13th overall by New Orleans in S51 SHL Draft



Joseph Lombardi || RW || Anchorage Armada co-GM || 969 TPE
Name: Joseph Lombardi
Position: Right Wing
Birthplace: Voorhees, NJ, USA (transferred to Ireland)
Height: very short (5'3")
Weight: 145 lbs
SHL Regular Season Stats
S38 | SFP | GP: 50 G: 13 A: 9 PTS: 22 PIMS: 6 +/-: -10
S39 | SFP | GP: 50 G: 12 A: 8 PTS: 20 PIMS: 8 +/-: -10
S40 | SFP | GP: 50 G: 14 A: 15 PTS: 29 PIMS: 7 +/-: 9
S41 | MIN | GP: 50 G: 7 A: 6 PTS: 13 PIMS: 0 +/-: -3
S42 | MIN/SEA | GP: 47 G: 14 A: 20 PTS: 34 PIMS: 6 +/-: 4
S43 | SEA | GP: 50 G: 20 A: 26 PTS: 46 PIMS: 8 +/-: 5
S44 | SEA | GP: 50 G: 18 A: 17 PTS: 35 PIMS: 18 +/-: -16
S45 | SEA/TOR | GP: 50 G: 20 A: 20 PTS: 40 PIMS: 0 +/-: 1
S46 | TOR | GP: 50 G: 25 A: 23 PTS: 48 PIMS: 0 +/-: 0
S47 | EDM | GP: 50 G: 17 A: 23 PTS: 40 PIMS: 10 +/-: 26
S48 | SFP | GP: 50 G: 21 A: 17 PTS: 38 PIMS: 10 +/-: 5
S49 | SFP | GP: 50 G: 6 A: 20 PTS: 26 +/-: -8 PIMS: 13
S50 | SFP | GP: 50 G: 15 A: 11 PTS: 26 PIMS: 10 +/-: 15
Career Stats
GP: 647 G: 202 A: 215 PTS: 417 PIMS: 96 +/-: 14
SHL Playoff Stats
S38 | SFP | GP: 5 G: 1 A: 1 PTS: 2 PIMS: 6 +/-: -3
S39-S40 | SFP | Missed playoffs
S41 | MIN | GP: 6 G: 1 A: 2 PTS: 3 PIMS: 0 +/-: 0
S42 | SEA | missed playoffs
S43 | SEA | GP: 6 G: 0 A: 6 PTS: 6 PIMS: 0 +/-: 1
S44 | SEA | missed playoffs
S45 | TOR | GP: 5 G: 2 A: 2 PTS: 4 PIMS: 0 +/-: 1
S46 | TOR | GP: 7 G: 2 A: 7 PTS: 9 PIMS: 0 +/-: -1
S47 | EDM | GP: 6 G: 1 A: 1 PTS: 2 PIMS: 0 +/-: -3
S48 | SFP | GP: 6 G: 0 A: 0 PTS: 0 PIMS: 0 +/-: -4
S49 | SFP | missed playoffs
S50 | SFP | GP: 4 G: 0 A: 0 PTS: 0 PIMS: 0 +/-: 0
Career Playoff Stats 
all you need to know is that I was shit
SMJHL Regular Season Stats
S35 | STL |  GP: 50 G: 1 A: 0 PTS: 1 PIMS: 2 +/-: -1
S36 | STL | GP: 50 G: 10 A: 7 PTS: 17 PIMS: 4 +/-: 0
S37 | STL | GP: 44 G: 16 A: 15 PTS: 31 PIMS: 8 +/-: -4
Total Stats: GP: 144 G: 27 A: 22 PTS: 49 PIMS: 14 +/-: -5
SMJHL Playoff Stats
S35 | STL | GP: 7 G: 1 A: 0 PTS: 1 +/-: 1
S36 | STL | GP: 6 G: 2 A: 2 PTS: 4 +/-: -1
S37 | STL | GP: 13 G: 4 A: 10 PTS: 14 +/-: -3
Total Stats: GP: 26 G: 7 A: 12 PTS: 19 +/-: -3
Things I've Done
Selected 40th overall in S35 SMJHL Draft by STL
Selected 30th overall in S36 SHL Entry Draft by POR
Won some team awards with the Crows, but no cup
won Presidents Trophy with San Francisco in S38
won a silver medal with Ireland (S38)
won two bronze medals with Ireland (S39, S41)
won a shit ton of golds with Ireland (S42-47)
was traded by San Francisco to Minnesota before S41
Traded to Seattle by Minnesota before S42 Trade Deadline
traded to Toronto by Seattle before S45 trade deadline
signed a one year, $6 million contract with Edmonton
signed a one year, $4.5 million contract with San Fransisco
named Pride alternate captain for S48
won president's trophy with SFP (s50)
writes haters guides where I shit on every team

ty to @High Stick King @EvilAllBran and @Ragnar for the sigs

Gross

Sigs by Me, Merica, High Stick King, Rum_Ham, Jess, vulfzilla, enigmatic, and Carpy

 

Brian Morley | LAP | S30 Hall of Fame | Buffalo Stampede Co-GM
———————————
CAREER AWARDS/ACCOMPLISHMENTS:
1x Challenge Cup (S17)
2x 1st All-Star Team (S22, S24)
1x 2nd All-Star Team (S23)
1x Sergei Karpotsov Trophy (S22)
2x Jay McDonald Trophy (S22, S24)
2x Damian Littleton Nominee (S21)
2x Ron Mexico Nominee (S22, S23)
2x Jeff Dar Nominee (S23, S24)
First, second and fifth most goals in a season in the 52 game era
Second most points in a season in the 52 game era
Second most goals by a player in Los Angeles Panthers franchise history
Second most points by a player in Los Angeles Panthers franchise history
Most goals, assists and points by a player drafted in S14
———————————
CAREER STATS:
758 GP:  265 Goals, 328 Assists, 593 Points

Chimkin Wing | Right Wing | Retired Beef Cake
Jersey Number: 35
Height: 6ft 8in
Weight: 225 lbs
Birthplace: Zrenjanin, Serbia
———————————
Signed as a free agent in S55 with the Anchorage Armada
Drafted 47th overall in the S56 SHL draft by the Buffalo Stampede
———————————
SMJHL REGULAR SEASON STATS:
S55: GP: 10 | W: 5 | L: 4 | OTL: 0 | GAA: 2.31 | SV%: .910 | SO: 1
S56: GP: 26 | W: 12 L: 8 | OTL: 3 | GAA: 2.59 | SV%: .893 | SO: 2
S57: GP: 53 | W: 33 L: 12 | OTL: 7 | GAA: 2.02 | SV%: .920 | SO: 8
S58: GP: 51 | W: 27 L: 22 | OTL: 2 | GAA: 2.11 | SV%: .927 | SO: 8
SMJHL PLAYOFF STATS:
S57: GP: 16 | W: 12 L: 3 | OTL: 1 | GAA: 1.86 | SV%: .926 | SO: 1
S58: GP: 21 | W: 13 L: 7 | OTL: 1 | GAA: 2.56 | SV%: .906 | SO: 0
———————————
SHL REGULAR SEASON STATS:
S58: GP: 3 | W: 2 | L: 0 | OTL: 1 | GAA: 1.95 | SV%: .880 | SO: 1
S59: GP: 66 | G: 8 | A: 26 | P: 34 | +/-: 38 | PIM: 16
S60: GP: 66 | G: 19 | A: 23 | P: 42 | +/-: 32 | PIM: 12
S61: GP: 66 | G: 11 | A: 31 | P: 42 | +/-: 36 | PIM: 38
S62: GP: 66 | G: 4 | A: 38 | P: 42 | +/-: 34 | PIM: 12
S63: GP: 66 | G: 6 | A: 28 | P: 34 | +/-: 7 | PIM: 19
S64: GP: 66 | G: 36 | A: 54 | P: 90 | +/-: 44 | PIM: 16
S65: GP: 66 | G: 44 | A: 41 | P: 85 | +/-: 18 | PIM: 18
S66: GP: 66 | G: 27 | A: 54 | P: 81 | +/-: 12 | PIM: 34
S67: GP: 66 | G: 20 | A: 55 | P: 75 | +/-: -10 | PIM: 44
S68: GP: 66 | G: 33 | A: 57 | P: 90 | +/-: 32 | PIM: 20
S69: GP: 66 | G: 32 | A: 59 | P: 91 | +/-: 31 | PIM: 34
S70: GP: 66 | G: 12 | A: 64 | P: 76 | +/-: 31 | PIM: 26
S71: GP: 66 | G: 23 | A: 38 | P: 61 | +/-: 22 | PIM: 26
S72: GP: 66 | G: 22 | A: 33 | P: 55 | +/-: 0 | PIM: 34
S73: GP: 66 | G: 17 | A: 39 | P: 56 | +/-: 21 | PIM: 20
S74: GP: 66 | G: 29 | A: 38 | P: 67 | +/-: 28 | PIM: 20
TOT: GP: 1056 | G: 343 | A: 678 | P: 1021 | +/-: 376 | PIM: 389
SHL PLAYOFF STATS:
S59: GP: 19 | G: 2 | A: 7 | P: 9 | +/-: -2 | PIM: 4
S60: GP: 22 | G: 6 | A: 15 | P: 21 | +/-: 12 | PIM: 4
S61: GP: 9 | G: 1 | A: 5 | P: 6 | +/-: 7 | PIM: 2
S62: GP: 9 | G: 2 | A: 3 | P: 5 | +/-: 3 | PIM: 2
S63: GP: 12 | G: 1 | A: 4 | P: 5 | +/-: 2 | PIM: 0
S64: GP: 11 | G: 4 | A: 8 | P: 12 | +/-: 2 | PIM: 2
S65: GP: 18 | G: 12 | A: 14 | P: 26 | +/-: 12 | PIM: 0
S66: GP: 16 | G: 4 | A: 9 | P: 13 | +/-: -2 | PIM: 2
S67: GP: 4 | G: 1 | A: 2 | P: 3 | +/-: -2 | PIM: 0
S68: GP: 17 | G: 10 | A: 17 | P: 27 | +/-: 6 | PIM: 10
S69: GP: 4 | G: 1 | A: 4 | P: 5 | +/-: -5 | PIM: 2
S70: GP: 7 | G: 2 | A: 1 | P: 3 | +/-: -2 | PIM: 2
S71: GP: 21 | G: 7 | A: 17 | P: 24 | +/-: 6 | PIM: 4
S72: GP: 5 | G: 0 | A: 1 | P: 1 | +/-: -4 | PIM: 0
S73: GP: 6 | G: 1 | A: 6 | P: 6 | +/-: 0 | PIM: 2
S74: GP: 9 | G: 0 | A: 2 | P: 2 | +/-: -3 | PIM: 4
TOT: GP: 189 | G: 54 | A: 114 | P: 168 | +/-: 34 | PIM: 40
———————————
AWARDS AND ACCOLADES:
S55 Matt Lewis-Flood Trophy
S57 Four Star Cup Champion
S57 SMJHL Second All Star Team
S57 Brodie Witzel Trophy - Playoffs MVP
S58 SMJHL First All Star Team
S58 Matt Lewis-Flood Trophy
S58 Cedric Robinson Trophy - Best Goalie
S60 Challenge Cup Champion
S64 Named Buffalo Stampede Captain
S64 Aidan Richan Award
S69 SHL All Star
S71 Challenge Cup Champion

Ongo Gablogian, the art collector | RD | Carolina Kraken
---------------------------------------------
Charmed, I'm sure
---------------------------------------------
Jersey Number: 0
Height: 4 ft 10in
Weight: 290 lbs
Birthplace: Philadelphia, Pennsylvania
---------------------------------------------
Drafted 8th overall by the Carolina Kraken in S74
Drafted 39th overall by the Buffalo Stampede in S75
---------------------------------------------
REGULAR SEASON STATS
S74: GP: 66 | G: 3 | A: 22 | P: 25 | +/-: -16 | PIM: 32 | HITS: 109
---------------------------------------------
PLAYOFF STATS
S74: DNQ
---------------------------------------------
AWARDS AND ACCOLADES
Fuckin' nothing so far. Or probably ever.

❤!! RIP to the big homies 701 and Mac !!❤

processed

PROFILE || UPDATE || RAGE.  




Luke Thomason || LW || Manhattan Rage || 2143 Max TPE
Born: 1/10/98
Height: 6'0
Weight 185 Lbs
----------------------------------------------------------------------
Regular season
SMJHL/SHL Stats
S42 | Van | GP: 50| G: 4| A: 8|P: 12|+/-: -10|MP: 457|
S43 | Van | GP: 50| G: 16| A: 19|P: 35|+/-: 3|MP: 951|
S44 | Van | GP: 50| G: 22| A: 31|P: 53|+/-: 9|MP: 1033|
S45 | SFP | GP: 50| G: 18| A: 19|P: 37|+/-: -5|MP: 1041|
S46 | MAN | GP: 50| G: 19| A: 24|P: 43|+/-: -3|MP: 1156|
S47 | MAN | GP: 50| G: 16| A: 28|P: 44|+/-: -15|MP: 1184|
S48 | MAN | GP: 50| G: 16| A: 24|P: 40|+/-: -13|MP: 1137|
S49 | MAN | GP: 50| G: 21| A: 28|P: 49| +/-: 13|MP: 1099
S50 | MAN | GP: 50| G: 21| A: 23|P: 44| +/-: 10|MP: 1157
S51 | MAN | GP: 50| G: 17| A: 22|P: 39| +/-: 5|MP: 1232
S52 | MAN | GP: 50| G: 24| A: 29|P: 54| +/-: 17|MP: 1193
----------------------------------------------------------------------
Playoffs
S42 Playoffs | Van| GP: 11 | G: 1| A: 2 |P:3|+/-: +3| MP: 101
S43 Playoffs | Van| GP: 10 | G: 4| A: 1 |P:5|+/-: -3| MP: 206
S44 Playoffs | Van| GP: 14 | G: 7| A:6  |P:13|+/-:-1 | MP:228
S46 Playoffs | MAN| GP: 12 | G: 3 | A:2  |P:5|+/-:-14 | MP:289
S47 Playoffs | MAN| GP: 5 | G: 3 | A:4  |P:7|+/-:2 | MP:119
S49 Playoffs | MAN| GP: 11| G: 6| A: 11|P:16|+/-: 5| MP:248
S50 Playoffs | MAN| GP: 6| G: 5| A: 5|P:10|+/-: 7| MP:137
S51 Playoffs | MAN| GP: 12| G: 7| A: 9|P:16|+/-: 4| MP:293
S52 Playoffs | MAN| GP: 19| G: 9| A: 13|P:22|+/-: 0| MP:438

----------------------------------------------------------------------
Transactions/Awards
S43 Named Assistant Captain for VAN Whalers
Drafted 3rd OA by San Fransisco Pride
S43 4 Star Cup Champion  
S44 Zach Miller Award for Most Dedicated
S44 nominee for the Damien Littleton award for most dedicated
S45 WJC Gold Medalist
S45 SHL Rookie All-Star Team
S46 Named Captain for Czechoslovakia
S45 Winner of the Damien Littleton award for most dedicated
S46 Nominee for Damien Littleton award for most dedicated
S49 Bronze Medal for Czechia
S52 Nominee for Anton Razov Trophy
S52 SHL 3rd Team


Arnost Holub || Vancouver Whalers GM/ Manhattan Rage Co-GM
S44 | W:27 | L:18 | OTL: 5 | P:59 | 3rd in League 
S45 | W:29 | L:17 | OTL: 4 | P:62 | 4th in League 
S46 | W:23 | L:21 | OTL: 6 | P:52 | 8th in League 
S47 | W:30 | L:17 | OTL: 3 | P:63 | 3rd in League 
S48 | W:28 | L:16 | OTL: 6 | P:62 | 4th in League 
Total | W:137 | L: 89 | OTL: 24 

Manhattan Rage  
S49 | W:33 | L:15 | OTL: 2 | P:68 | 3rd in League  
S50 | W:26 | L:20 | OTL: 4 | P:56 | 8th in League  
S51 | W:26 | L:18 | OTL: 6 | P:56 | 5th in League 
S52 | W:28 | L:21 | OTL: 1 | P:57 | 6th in League 
Totals | W:113 | L:74 | OTL: 13 
S49 Lance Uppercut Award
S51 Lance Uppercut Award Nomination
S52 Lance Uppercut Award Nomination

Playoffs
Vancouver Whalers
S44 | W: 7 | L: 7 | CF Round Exit
S45 | W: 6 | L: 6 | CF Round Exit
S46 | W: 1 | L: 4 | 1st Round Exit
S47 | W: 6 | L: 4 | CF Round Exit
S48 | W: 12 | L: 7 | 4 Star Cup Champions
Total| W: 32 | L: 28 | 4 Star Cup Champions

Manhattan Rage
S49 | W: 6 | L: 5 | CF Round Exit
S50 | W: 2 | L: 4 | Wildcard Exit
S51 | W: 5 | L: 7 | CF Exit
S52 | W: 12 | L: 7 | Challenge Cup Champions
Total | W: 25 | L:23 | 1 Challenge Cup