The Detroit Falcons are proud to resign the following free agents for the upcoming season: 


Active FA:

Monsieur Pingy Pingu Lunga Guma, Esq. - @Pingy Pingu - $2,000,000 (and a side of nuggies)
Deshawn Booker - @Slick - $2,000,000

Please with "accept"

Inactive FA:

Wet Jeans - @lmcm86 - $2,000,000
Oscar Von Walther - @Southie - $2,000,000
King Rhames - @element - 193 TPE - $1,000,000
Carson Bishop - @RangerGandalf - 155 TPE - $1,000,000
Red Tarkington - @Burgletime - 155 TPE - $1,000,000

Accept

"Bring back Pingy Pingu Lunga Gumba esq. And I mean bring him all the way back. I want every thread on this forum that involves even a modicum of salt to get razed to the ground by our most notorious shitposting penguin. I want every thunderdome to drown in ABAGABA spam and a signature that doesn't end. I want the userbase of this fine league to cower in terror, slinking about the forums and making as little noise as possible for fear of attracting the Shitpost Slenderman. When some poor immigrant from the NFL sim blunders into the forum and makes an angry post about how his player slipped to the early second round despite having done ALL the rookie tasks(!), let the veteran survivalists stare in horror and pity while the newbie rages. They will know it is only a matter of time before @Pingy Pingu descends upon his post like a ravening wolf and obliterates his tread, reducing it to a radioactive waste-dump of unintelligible spam. They will not interfere, for Pingy is our immune system. Because he can take it. Our Dark Knight of Shitposting"

Sig credit to @WannabeFinn @JSS @Mordaciious @Mayuu @TommySalami
                                              Falcons banner credit to @karey

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