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Symmetrik · 01-31-2022, 12:31 AM

We've got an interview with Christian Kinsinger, the star Danish defender for the Kelowna Knights of the SMJHL.

Hi Christian, good to have you here for this interview. How have you been feeling out there on the ice so far this season?

I've been feeling pretty good out there. I'd like to have a bit more impact on the scoresheet sometimes, given our record so far and the battle at the top of the standings, I wish I could do more.

Well, in most categories you've shown to be the best defenseman on the Knights, on both sides of the puck. The number 1 defender in relative corsi and fenwick, tops in GF & GA per 60, game rating, points. You don't think it's enough?

Well, we're only 6th in the league standings, only 1 point up for the division lead & playoff bye but they have a lot of games less than us. I want that bye. So we're not winning enough so it's not enough. Even not just competing against Great Falls for the bye, but the teams we have to compete against for the championship eventually. Look at Newfoundland. We're not there, so I need to be better.

Thanks for taking the time to do this interview Christian. Good luck on the test of the season.

Thank you.

Sopath · 01-31-2022, 12:34 AM

Bas O'Bigbers will have to wear a disguise to pull off this feat. Bas starts off by putting his hair in a bun with a hat on top to cover his long hair and then he gets a pair of glasses to wear as well. After finding a way in the back of the press room he waits for teammates Jonathan Granstrom to show up. Jonathan Granstrom always caries himself in a very serious kind of way. Not one of the type of humorous questions that he'll be asked. The first question Bas asks is "When do you think you'll get around to reading the wheel of time?" Granstrom pauses as if stunned. Finally he says "Uh... I don't know. We just lost another game so I'm not really sure what's on my mind right now and I don't know what the wheel of whatever is." Bas waits a bit and then asks another question "most handsome team mate is who?" At that point Granstrom just walks out. It ended up not being funny.

Your Mothers Favorite Goalie · 01-31-2022, 12:35 AM

So It would be hard to think of good questions for this because i dont know much of the lore around any of my teammates lol. But I think as far as what I would be going for, its clear: the formula was perfected by the late and great Norm Macdonald when he infiltrated an interview of Blake Griffin, and later done again by Mr. David Letterman. If I was going to infiltrate a presser to mess with my teammates, I would simply just ask them the dumbest fucking questions I could think of. Here i'll try and think of some

"I saw you broke a stick tonight on a slapshot, was that part of your plan?"

"Were you aware that the Turd Ferguson trophy is not actually a turd?"

"I saw the zamboni driver put on a terrible display in the second intermission, do you think he is at risk of being traded?"

Jumbobone19 · 01-31-2022, 12:38 AM

PROMPT 2

Reporter: I want to welcome Lord Raiden from the Baltimore Platoon with us today to talk about the season so far. Thanks for joining us.
Raiden: Pleasure to be here
Reporter: So Baltimore is having a phenomenal season. Did you know you all would be so good?
Raiden: Obviously we practice and work very hard every day. We always hope to be at the top. But with this group this season, we kind of had a feeling.
Reporter: Is there anything that is contributing more to this seasons success?
Raiden: Well I dont know if you have heard of this absolute stud we have. Daniil Nikiforov, the dude has been lights out all season. He has really taken his game to the next level. Also I think the players we have added this season have been key. Jonesy, ABar, and Pepps. Those veteran guys were great to add to this strong roster.
Reporter: How far do you think this team can go this season and future seasons?
Raiden: The Challenge Cup or bust. I mean thats why we play. I think we should be in contention for seasons to come.
Reporter: Thank you for your time Lord Raiden
Raiden: Thanks for having me.

***notorioustig*** · 01-31-2022, 12:44 AM

Prompt 1: I would be infiltrating the post trade press conference of none other than the newest member of the Seattle Argonauts defense corps, Oliver Cleary. Cleary recently joined the team as part of a three way trade between the Argonauts, Blizzard, and Patriotes, and it is notable because Cleary was actually a selection of the Argonauts in their inaugural expansion draft in S56, although he would have his signing rights traded to Manhattan before suiting up in Seattle. I'd be sure to ask questions like "only one player was picked after you by Seattle in the expansion draft, Tig Murphy. Murphy went on to win a major award (Bojo Biscuit for defensive defender of the year) in his one season in Seattle, before landing himself in the Hall of Fame on his first ballot. You chose to leave instead. Do you ever think that could have been you?" It would likely be obvious that it was me asking the question as I am a very large green muppet and I'd be wearing a fake mustache, but I enjoy getting my digs in at his expense.

Exilate · 01-31-2022, 12:51 AM

PBE PT

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