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Swan Report: Arrests in Las Vegas
#1
(This post was last modified: 01-24-2022, 10:34 PM by Aleris.)

The Swan Report out of Swansea, Wales has just received an exclusive telegram from Las Vegas. It appears that Nevada star player Conner Snooks has been arrested and released on bail for purchasing alcohol with intent to give to a minor. Conner, still without an agent, released the following statement:

“Uh, you know, I was just getting some Absolut Watermelon for me. I don’t know how they knew I was gonna give it to Lias. Oh, crap, I just said the part out loud.”

Authorities had been alerted to the situation when the cashier told them that Conner had told them he was going to bring the alcohol to play Super Smash Bros with his best friend Lias. The cashier was a die hard Nevada Battleborn fan and knew Lias was under the legal drinking age of 21. 

So far the SMJHL HO has been quiet on what the tabloids are calling the “Snookeg” relationship. It was first reported that at a wedding in Sweden, Conner and Lias crashed a golf cart. The accident seems to have not dulled the relationship as hockey tabloids across the country keep catching photos of Conner and Lias doing a variety of activities together including sun bathing, tennis, and partner yoga. 

Whether or not the HO will take action now is a question of the law. The Swan report has reached out to Lias Ekholm-Gunnarsson, as well as to Nevada GM, Gunnar Söderberg . Neither have responded.

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#2

SMJHL HO has no comment at this time.

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S66 Damian Littleton


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#3
(This post was last modified: 01-24-2022, 11:29 PM by sköldpaddor.)

smh conner wtf.

edit: Lias Ekholm-Gunnarsson has no comment at this time except for quietly muttering "the drinking age in Sweden is 18"

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#4

@sköldpaddor, @Aleris we invite both Mr. Ekholm-Gunnarsson and Mr. Snooks to the Le Sacrilège BEFORE their next game in quebec city. No ill intention behind, we swear

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#5

01-25-2022, 09:15 AMEvok Wrote: @sköldpaddor, @Aleris we invite both Mr. Ekholm-Gunnarsson and Mr. Snooks to the Le Sacrilège BEFORE their next game in quebec city. No ill intention behind, we swear
Sounds like a strip club! I'm down!

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