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Rating Every SMJHL Team's Goal Celebration
#1
(This post was last modified: 04-06-2022, 06:15 PM by Valpix.)

One of the best things about livesims is seeing your team score a goal. And when you're at home, you hear it, too, with a special celebration horn and/or song.

Well I'm about to grill every single team on theirs. Please note that this is just my opinion, and a forewarning that my taste is weird - if there's a horn I like it to be lower-key, doubly so if the song is super high-energy. Each team will be rated on a scale of one to four, because four star cup or something like that.

Outlaws Anaheim Outlaws

The gunshots are a pretty solid choice (even if I would probably hate them in person at an actual arena) befitting of the name Outlaws and the team's general Old Western branding theme. The loop of "they don't stop coming and they don't stop coming" that they use as a song can be annoying at times, though, and does knock it down a little bit in my eyes. Rating: 2.5/4

Armada Anchorage Armada

I absolutely love this goal horn, it's unique, not too loud or in-your-face, and is very fitting of the team's branding and identity. Does feel a bit naked without a song to go with, and that knocks its rating down a bit, but generally speaking I enjoy hearing this very bassy boat horn so long as I'm not on the other side of it! Rating: 2.5/4

Kraken Carolina Kraken

The boat horn used here works for a team named after a sea monster, and again it's not too much with only a couple brief blasts. The "It's time to release the Kraken!" voice clip is a tad cliche, and probably only really works well on their first goal of the game, but it's not bad enough to knock it down. I very much love the organ breakdown, as well. A solid celebration all-round. Rating: 3.5/4

Raptors Colorado Raptors

As I said earlier, I like my goal horns to be lowkey if they exist....Colorado's long siren is just way, way too much for me. The horn itself is fine, the sound effects are fine, but the siren is a little annoying. That might be more of a personal beef as sirens and I don't particularly get along (unless they're the mythological creature), and it might also not be helped by the fact that Colorado is good and you hear it frequently, but I just...can't get behind it. Rating: 1.5/4

Falcons Detroit Falcons

The horn isn't too in-your-face and almost feels secondary on a celebration that includes the horn itself, a song, and sound effects. The screaming falcon sounds intimidating, and the choice of music namedropping the city is a nice touch (as is the fact that it's a song by Eminem, who is from...Detroit). Really strong all around, and you hear it a lot with the Falcons' strong season thus far. Rating: 4/4

Grizzlies Great Falls Grizzlies

It's just kinda...there, to be honest. I have zero strong feelings one way or the other. Aside from the roaring bear there's not a lot that stands out here. It's not bad by any means, there's just better. Rating: 2/4

Knights Kelowna Knights

Horn is nice and subdued, but the music is way, way too goofy for me. Maybe it's another case of "Valpix has weird taste/takes." Rating: 1.5/4

Timber Maine Timber

Topical goal songs always get a thumbs up from me, so Maine's use of Timber by Pitbull ft. Kesha is a good one. Horn's fine, not too too loud. This would probably be a 4 if I didn't still have trauma from last year's playoffs. Rating: 3.5/4

Battleborn Nevada Battleborn

The song is dangerously close to Kelowna's "too goofy" level, but the lack of a horn saves it from being a bit too much - a loud horn plus this would just be way way overwhelming on my ears. Plus, I'm always on the side of chaotic gay energy which this song most definitely has. So this kinda gets a higher score than I'd normally give for this particular choice. Rating: 3/4

Berserkers Newfoundland Berserkers

M83's Midnight City is forever a bop and I will hear no word from anyone who disagrees. That being said....I don't think this horn is a good compliment, it just feels a bit...too noisy. Or maybe I'm just jaded from hearing it fifteen times a sim. I'll have to wait and see til next season if I'm just overexposed to it or if it's actually too much. For now I'm going to give it an above average grade just for Midnight City. Rating: 2.5/4

Citadelles Quebec City Citadelles

Celebrating a goal in a French speaking locale with a French song about scoring goals. Again, topical always gets a thumbs up, and having a chantable line in the song makes it easier for fans to get into. The lack of a horn doesn't matter here when the choice is so perfect. Also I personally like it not just because I am a Citadelle myself, but Louise St. Martin is from Geneva in Switzerland, and if you've ever seen the video for "La machine à scorer," the team featured heavily happens to be Genève-Servette in...Geneva! Rating: 4/4

Elk Regina Elk

Much like Great Falls, it's not great, it's not awful, doesn't really harbor any feelings one way or the other. It's catchier than the Grizzlies, though, and works better as a goal song, so a slightly better score is in order. Rating: 2.5/4

Scarecrows St. Louis Scarecrows

Yeah, this is another one that's just kinda, there. The horn isn't super loud and has the right general feel for the team's look I feel like, but I can almost never hear the song over the very loud crowd sound effect. I guess the lyric of "the crowd goes wild" wasn't false advertising and bumps it up from being flat-out mediocre to just above average? Rating: 2.5/4

Whalers Vancouver Whalers

Getting rid of Brass Bonanza for any reason whatsoever is a crime that, frankly, can never be forgiven. Only Peter Karmanos and Brian Burke would ever agree that that was a good idea. I don't care what the new horn or song is (you don't hear it much anyways, as only Anchorage has scored fewer goals at the time of writing, and Anchorage has one fewer game played), you. do. not. ditch. Brass. Bonanza. Rating: 1/4 #BringBackTheBrass

(1220 words, ready for grading)

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Thanks to @Ragnar, @Symmetrik, @Merica, @enigmatic, and @sulovilen for the sigs! 
Avi courtesy of @MN_Moosey
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Citadelles Switzerland Stars Blizzard 
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#2

Disagree

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#3

I’d like to point out, that our goal horn in GFG was created and produced by @Shylo_Moxii. That’s HIS music you hear.
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#4

Finally, someone says what we're all thinking about Brass Bonanza.

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#5

Scarecrow horn could have been so much worse. I tried a few different things, but none of them seemed to get the right vibe. I'm a little surprised that @TheSparkyDee hasn't changed it.

Also if you dislike Colorado that much, rejoice that you missed NLB's Jaja Dingdong phase.

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Thanks @enigmatic, @Carpy48, @Bayley, @Ragnar, @sulovilen, & @dasboot for the signatures!



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