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Bruins10 · 09-12-2022, 05:38 PM

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Written Task: Tell me what advice your player would give to someone new to your locker room! Do they need to know what players to steer clear of? Maybe a secret way to get the best snacks in your break room? What knowledge would your player have that could help out the people around you? Whether you're a grizzled vet or a brand new call up, you've definitely got something you can help people out with. Even if it isn't hockey related! (150+ words)

With someone that has experience of making players in the SHL and going from new locker rooms to new locker rooms, the first thing would be to learn everyones superstitions. Do not get on anyones bad side if the team captain is the first to walk into the room or if the goaltender showers first or what not. The radio for the team before the game is a privilege. Do not ask for it, you get awarded the duties. If you do not like the team music, do not make a comment and make sure to bring AirPods or Beats if you want to listen to your own stuff, you will not be judged by it. Treat the trainers and the equipment management team with respect or else it will be a long season. I have seen it countless times where a person just for some odd reason has knicks in his blades or his stick does not feel right....well the equipment manager might have had something to do with it.

*NorwegianDemon* · 09-12-2022, 06:13 PM

CREATIVE PROMPT: This is a difficult one, but I see that you have already tried to fight with not much success and I can’t find any new solutions that would help you fight these horseshoe crabs to get them out of your car. So, I would tell you to give up and accept the fact that your car as a new purpose and embrace this new purpose by providing these horseshoe crab with a new living environment. What you should try first is to taunt them again, so they ended up opening the window again. But first, you will have to be ready with your water hose in a state where it is ready to fire water at will. When the crab open the window a bit put a small rock on near the top of the window that will prevent them from closing the window again, put your water hose in the car and fill in with water. Congratulations, you now have a carquarium full of horseshoe crabs.

169 words

***RAmenAmen*** · 09-12-2022, 06:42 PM

Player Prompt:

As an upcoming rookie this season in Edmonton, I'll be looking to take as much advice as I've given in Quebec City the last couple seasons. As an outgoing captain for the Citadelles, though, I've got plenty of advice for the new SMJHL rookies joining the squad this season.

First and foremost: have fun and enjoy every part of the experience. You only get to be a rookie once, so let yourself have that time to take in everything the team has to offer without the weight of expectations that comes with being a veteran. You've got plenty of teammates around you with experience, so lean on them for support when times are hard (and times *will* be hard at some point in your career), and let them lift you up in celebration when times are good. A successful career in this league won't just be measured in wins and losses, but in the experiences you have along the way that fuel your continued growth and activity. If you focus on that, the wins will always follow.

Matteo · 09-12-2022, 07:21 PM

Crab problem or pregame meal?
[Image: 4vyeByn.jpeg]

mer · 09-12-2022, 09:20 PM

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Written Task:  Give an advice column style response to this person's submission! Will you actually be helpful? Who cares! Nobody reads the local paper anymore! You can answer however you like!

Dear Crab Camaro,
Thank you so much for writing in to Ask A Hockey Player. They gave me a lot of letters about tactics and form and skill, but your letter was somehow in there as well. I think it was a mistake, but I feel compelled to help. I know nothing about cars. I'm sure your carmero is very nice. But boy do I knew things that (should) live in the ocean. Crabs are hardy creatures. They are armed with natural knives and boy are they possessed with the desire to use them. The only way you can get your car back is via mind game. Make the crabs think you're scared. Go to the beach. Talk about how great the beach is. Around your car. Loudly. I promise you, after a few days of that, you will wake up and find your crabmero evacuated. As thank you, please purchase Manhattan season tickets.
Crabulations,
Aksel Fiske, Manhattan.

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158 words

*WithTheMoose* · 09-12-2022, 09:52 PM

PLAYER PROMPT

The only advice that Adelie could give to anyone entering the Chicago locker room environment is to stay open minded. Chicago has a very welcoming group of individuals who are typically up for supporting people from all walks of life. That said they are very close and tightknit and as such can get a little weird. Embracing the weirdness is the only way to really go as a new member of the team. The moment you do that, you'll be embraced yourself. You've got fantastic users like Schwarznarr, JNH, Darian, and Ben who love everybody and just want you to be involved, so expect the love to be piled on like a giant heap of spaghetti. There is no one specifically to avoid as everyone is absolutely fantastic and as long as you're open to it and let yourself fall into the group, you'll find yourself quickly becoming family. Some are overwhelmed by it, but its a truly pure environment.

ISFL: IsaStarcrossed

jumpSeat · 09-13-2022, 04:45 AM

Creative Prompt:

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Dear Crab Camaro in Concord,

Why does it always have to be me, me, me? Just for once, why can't this column ever receive a letter saying thank you for helping Bozo the clown overcome his fear of children? Or boy that sure was good advice you gave when you told the the bearded circus lady to look into laser hair removal! Or way to help Dr. Frank N. Furter sort out his problem of where to store the extra bodies?

But no! All we get all day long is letters from people like you asking help me! Help me!! Help me!!! Seriously I ask you, when is it ever going to be our turn? When do we get a chance to burden some poor unsuspecting person with our ridiculous problems? We've got issues too you know but nobody cares about that! Just because we don't have crabs in our car doesn't mean we don't hurt too dammit! So think about that the next time you're getting ready to put pen to paper and ask a total stranger to magically solve all your problems!

And by the way, who even puts pen to paper anymore? Haven't you ever heard of Google? Tongue

Quote:215 Words

Opera_Phantom · 09-13-2022, 05:11 AM

It is not a secret that the Atlanta Inferno are one of the, if not the, best teams in the league. Last season ring shows exactly that. They dominated during the regular season, and did exactly the same during the playoffs. So, there is not really an advice our locker rooms gives out to new members other than "we are the best, you really need to be in your best game. If you were deemed good enough to be a part of this roster, we trust you, so keep working and improving your game. We are a tight bunch of bastards, so if we see that you are giving your all, we stand by you until the end."
Successful teams work like this (see last season). The organization treats everyone the same way, from the arena ice keepers, to the president or owner. Everyone feels valued. And the results start there, before the games even start.

(156 words)

*ZootTX* · 09-13-2022, 11:02 AM

Miguel still remembers when he was new to the San Francisco Pride. It was, of course, very overwhelming and intimidating and he was lucky to land in such a great locker room. First off, he'd tell new rookies to take a deep breath, we've all been there and no one is going to eat you (hopefully.) Don't try to be someone you aren't, the other players will figure that out really quickly. Show up to practice, and put in the work. No matter how good you think you are (or actually are) there is someone better than you. That said, it's a team sport, and sometimes a game just isn't your game. Go home, punch a pillow or something, and move on. The best snacks are in the kitchen of the arena, and if you treat the food folks nicely, they'll take good care of you.
Also, stay out of the goalie room, they do weird shit in there.

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