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S67 PT #0: Advice
#91

Julian Flörsch is going into his third season with the Detroit Falcons, and was very much looking forward to meet his new teammates following the draft.

In his first season, the young Swiss defense was utilized as a depth forward due to the very stacked roster of the Falcons. The team won the 4 star cup in this season, right before a large part of their core was called up to the big leagues. In his second season, the Detroit Falcons dropped in the rankings considerably. They finished the regular season in 10th place, and missed the post season.

He's seen high and low, and as such has some solid advice for any new faces joining: No matter how well we do. No matter how bad we do. We will always be more than just a team. Falcons are Family. We may be down now, but we will rise up and be contenders for a cup soon enough again.

 
Falcons Monarchs Switzerland   Switzerland Monarchs Falcons
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Falcons Monarchs Switzerland   Switzerland Monarchs Falcons
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Credit for the images goes to @Carpy48, @soulja, @fever95 and @Wasty
#92

Creative Prompt
Well crab camaro, these crustaceans seem to be a highly intelligent variety. In order to fit so many of them in such a small cab, they must be of a small or medium size and not like the ones the size of your face. Obviously violence will not work on these heavily armored critters. There are really only two things you can do in this situation, both of which have a level of danger and a possibility of complete failure, but what else can you do. The first one is to move the car into a large fresh body of water such as a pool or a pond. You then heat up the water to immense levels and boil those suckers to death. Invite all your friends and family over for a nice crab boil. The second option, of which is the more dangerous of the two, is to take apart the car and rebuild it. Those suckers will likely be fighting the entire time but what else can you do. (171)

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#93

PBE Claim

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Gritty McGritterson Player Page
Gritty McGritterson Update Page

S53 Four Star Cup Champion- Detroit Falcons
S56 Challenge Cup Champion - Hamilton Steelhawks
#94

Player Prompt:
My advice to someone new coming into our locker room or the SHL at all would just be to take a break every once in awhile. There’s a lot of ways to get better and you don’t always have to be stressing to get everything done, and if you have other (more important) things in your life going on, focus on that stuff and don’t stress about earning. There’s so many ways to earn and your career will last so long that taking a break from doing everything for a season or two won’t really make you that much worse than your competition.
Also if you ever need to talk to someone, basically everyone in the league will listen. The main advice I’m trying to give I guess is don’t get stressed out over this league and if you do get stressed, there’s a lot of people who will listen and help you.

Also avoid hffo as much as you can.

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#95

Player prompt

The new fave around the Buffalo locker room is actually, me. A rookie. Fresh from another terrible junior season. But, now I find myself somehow the starting goalie for the Buffalo stampede. Crazy. Not too long ago I was getting shelled by other kids and now I am supposed to be the starting goalie. Of this storied franchise. Following in the footsteps of greats like Elizabeth Doyle and Cedric Robinson. How do I live up to that. I don’t know. But I’ll tell you what, everyone in here has their two cents to add. Chimkin wing told be to just be good, and if I’m not, get better. Kekw kekkonen and his brother kaarlo told me not to look them in the eyes. Weird but ok, shitty advice tho.
I think I’ll find my way. I hope, and if I don’t, I get more shitty advice, like get better.

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#96

pbe affiliate
#97

Quote:CREATIVE PROMPT- Hockey don't pay like it used to! You find yourself picking up part-time work at your local newspaper, and somehow you've landed the advice column! This week the letter you have to respond to is... strange.
Written Task:  Give an advice column style response to this person's submission! Will you actually be helpful? Who cares! Nobody reads the local paper anymore! You can answer however you like!

Quote:
"Hey advice column! I'll cut right to the chase because frankly, this is urgent. I have 60+ live horseshoe crabs in my car, just sort of scuttling and wriggling around in there. I cannot get them out. The car is an '09 Camaro. It's a beautiful car but it is full of crabs. When I try to open the door, they band together and hold it closed. They are too strong. One time they rolled down the window and beckoned me over-- when I stuck my head in, they snipped me on the nose and rolled it back up! Now my nose is big and red. It is a nightmare. What can I do? Signed: Crab Camaro in Concord, NH."

(150+ words)

Hey Crab Camaro, thanks for reaching out.

The first thing you need to do is get a sense of the kind of crabs that you're dealing with. To start, try and make friends with one of the crabs. Maybe you can slip some cash through a cracked window, or compliment it on the way it scuttles and wriggles.
Then, you start passing notes to and from this new ally crab on the other crab's biggest weaknesses. Are they ashamed about their claws? Is their shell not as shiny and brilliant as they'd like?

Use this information to start throwing out insults to these crabs, to the point where they break down and cry. While they are weeping, open the door and start shoveling them out. Leave your ally crab in there as a reward for loyalty.

Now you have a camaro with only one crab in it, and a bunch of depressed crabs on the outside. Here's where you actually prove that you aren't just an asshole that cares more about his car than the feelings of the crabs around him: it's time to build those crabs back up.

Remember those weaknesses? Start helping the crabs come to terms with their own insecurities. Teach the ones self-conscious about their scuttling to do it better, or hook them up with more capable crabs for lessons. Buy some wax for the crabs that think their shells aren't shiny enough. In general, uplift them. At a certain point, you'll have a camaro surrounded by a bunch of happy crabs, with a single crab inside that you just know is ride or die.

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Canada | Player Page | Grizzlies | Player Updates | Inferno
#98

Player Prompt

Ricky Koivu is a new call up to the Philadelphia Forge for this season, so he will likely be taking his advice from others rather than giving out advice himself. However, Koivu has spent a lot of time with former Stevens nominee defenseman Gabriel Johnson, who has taught him many tricks and trades in the game. Johnson, also a 2nd overall pick to the SHL back in S47, is the former captain of the Hamilton Steelhawks and taught Koivu a lot about being humble and focused on improvement. Being such a high pick can lead for many to be cocky and self centered in the progress of their career, but Koivu is very down to earth and simply focused on where he can improve to help the team be better. A grounded mentality is something the Forge management love to look for in their players, so the highest draft pick in team history demonstrating this sort of humility helps breed strong team culture. (165 words)

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#99

PBE PT

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The advice that I would say to new players on a new team is don't give up and hopefully you get better and stronger as you move along. I think it depends on how you look at it and how you take it is how you make it better for yourself. I think what I would do in this situation is pretend like there is something that was missing  in my game and fix it. I think that it is a learning experience and you learn to deal with it. I believe that everything happens for a purpose and that is to improve every year. I want people to know it happens and it's time to move and maybe it is better for you and your player I think that it is awesome to continue stacking your player. Improvements obviously helps you stay on a team longer for you. I think that I want to learn every year and it be something different every year. I want to win but sometimes it's best to help a failing team to help them out. I want there to be people in different cities all the time it helps gain people to join and it is awesome for new people in this league to understand to play.

217 words

ISFL Affiliate

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The biggest thing to remember about the Calgary dragons locker room is that if you want something, or if you believe that you should have something, chances are it's available. Whether it relates to our crack team of masseuses ready to give players a rub down after the game or a particularly arduous practice, or if it's the incredible catered meals including, of course, chicken and/or eggplant parm, the dragons spare no expense at making their players feel as comfortable as possible.

As for me, Eero Makela, I am in charge of the physical therapy committee, which includes the aforementioned masseuses. During the off-seasons I scour the world near and far to find the most talented individuals that I can to join our team. Their off ice contributions are critical to our success and immeasurable in terms of the relaxation they provide. For new members of our locker room, you only have to look around to see such individuals, and only need to ask if you require service.

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Creative prompt -

Well my crab dude, what you need to do is to lure them out of the Camaro by setting up crab traps at strategic locations outside of the vehicle. Hang something irresistible to them in the traps. Stinky fish, pieces of bacon, shiny jewelry, whatever you can think of that will be attractive to a crab. Then, have some catchy dance music (maybe that crab rave music) playing to make them listen and catch their attention. Once they start dancing to the beat, they will be drawn to the bait inside the traps. As the traps get full make sure to replace them with empty traps so that the crabs still inside the car get lured out. You may have to up the bait factor to draw the last few out. Make it super enticing! This advice will definitely solve your problem of crabs inside the Camaro - the Crabmaro if you will.



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I think I would give a rookie the same advice I give to my new coworkers in real life. There are three keys to success. The first is teamwork, it is bar none the most important thing. Be good to your teammates and your teammates will be there and good to you. Second is work hard, keep your head down at times and keep it up to take it all in. Its important while you're working to step back and enjoy the view and see how far you've come from where you started. Lastly and the most important to me personally is to find a job that no one else is doing and do it and do it for as long and as hard as you can. You will learn about yourself and you will learn your limitations and hopefully the limitations of those around you. Enrichment is important and the best way to find that is by following these three tried and true methods.







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