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Pickle Juice · 09-16-2022, 03:15 PM

The best advice a veteran could give a rookie would be to study the greats. And what did the greats do? They fuckin lifted. Everybody wants to be a SHL super star, but nobody wants to lift heavy ass weights. Hop on gear kid, eat those trenbologne sandwiches. Gynecomastia? hell yeah brother. Get those hormones all fucked up and get into that weightroom. Start lifting. I want to see heavy fuckin squats 4 days a week minimum. I want to see 800 pound deadlifts followed by a can of sardines and a rice cake. Overhead press? You bet. It needs to be 1.5 times your body weight or get out of my sight. I want to see legs as big as tree trunks in this ho. How will we get there? Diet. 9 whole chickens a day and a pound of rice. Season heavily. Iodized salt only. Get your bloodwork done to check testoterone levels. Too Low?? Get more sleep. Sleep, eat, lift, repeat. thats how you succeed in this league.

**Rich** · 09-16-2022, 03:41 PM

Fileworker PT Pass

***micool132*** · 09-16-2022, 03:51 PM

PLAYER PROMPT -

This is my veteran advice to Binko Koivu @goldenglutes at goldenglutes user from the Atlanta Inferno Hockey team of the Simulation Hockey LEague. Binko, playing defense up in the big league is really different from the junior leagues, my son. You see, in the junior leagues, you are playing against other players who have not yet reached their top potential, just like you haven't. Then in the big leagues, you can see the gap between busts or all-stars. To avoid becoming a bust, I would suggest you look closely @Leppish and do the opposite he does, all the time. DO NOT PEE IN THE COMMUNAL SHOWER. YOu can learn many tricks from Puddles O'duck and Michael Whitecheck, just like I did. Never trust Paul Binder @cameltoe, he seems to always do the opposite of what he claims hes going to do. Sometimes he scores a lot and sometimes he doesnt but its always unexpected. Your best friend in the locker room will be @gordonbombayformuleun because he was rookie of the year (robbed of the title btw) and he seems to figure stuff out faster than most of us. He might be a genius.

Merica · 09-16-2022, 04:23 PM

Being a new guy is never a fun experience, you got added pressure to be good, have to hold the veterans jocks and you live day to day. So having a savvy veteran of the league to guide you through the shark infested waters can help out the new blood and prevent their soul from breaking. Nobody wants that.

My advice would be fairly simple: do what you’re fucking told. That’s it. Nobody cares if your daddy owns Amazon, there’s no special pass in a simulation hockey locker room, it’s full speed at all times, you gotta know your place. If you do what your told, your experience will be a good one. If you’re a little dirty rebel and think “I’m the guy/gal that’s gonna change things around here!” I assure you, you will not. You’ll just become a huge target, which is actually a good thing for the other rookies but we will forget all about them and focus our devastating energy solely on you.

tweedledunn · 09-16-2022, 04:40 PM

Code:
creative prompt

JuOSu · 09-16-2022, 05:29 PM

PBE PT

*lmao* · 09-16-2022, 05:44 PM

Player Prompt

When Shion Okamoto first came into league, he felt that he was under a lot of pressure to perform once he had made the team. Especially given the fact that that he was not drafted to the SHL in the season that he should have, he felt the need to prove that he belonged, especially in a great organization like the Chicago Syndicate. So if Okamoto was to give some advice to a new rookie that was entering the Chicago locker room, it would just be to try to reduce the pressure on yourself as much as possible. There is a lot to be stressed about when you first move up from the juniors to the big leagues. Especially because in the juniors, everyone is on relatively the same level, whereas once you get called up, there is a big gulf between the rookies and older players, versus the players that are completely in their prime at the top of the league.

Z-Whiz · 09-16-2022, 08:12 PM

I may not be the resident expert in Atlanta on how to get rid of crabs, that title belongs to @hotdog. He's always getting crabs. The good, the bad, and the ugly kind of crabs. He gets them so much, that I've been able to glean enough information to almost become an expert in ridding them. I only have expertise in theory though, not in practice. For practical expertise, again, you will need to reach out to @hotdog. Honestly, you shouldn't even be reading my post. Just search for hotdog's as it will be a more accurate representation of his advice. Go straight to the source. Do not pass go. Do not collect $100. Skip the middle man. Unless he has a PT pass as a GM, then I guess I can give you the advice. So, here it is...
The first line of defense is to avoid getting them all together by using protection. If that doesn't work, then seek help from a doctor who will likely supply you with a shampoo or ointment.

Toivo · 09-16-2022, 09:30 PM

PBE PT

Shylo_Moxii · 09-16-2022, 10:20 PM

Giving players some suggestions is nice courtesy for future references. I would be giving every little bit of advice from team play knowing we like to be gritty and we love to be big and block for our guy brick in the net. In the locker room we all eat as a team before games. We also are big on music so don't kill the vibe with any music we don't like. Also we are superstitious always put the right skate on first. Always tough the patriote stash before leaving for the ice. Never ever leave the ice without tapping our goalie every period end of game even in warmups. Also never bring in hockey pucks from outside. Never leave the arena without signing fan gear first when asked. We always do a surge type clap before leaving the ice for a win. Always always always do a grew huddle before leaving the locker room before and after the game and in intermissions.

raymond3000 · 09-16-2022, 10:54 PM

The start of the season sixty seven SHL season is right around the corner, and that means a new set of rookies around the league are nervously awaiting their big league debuts. Andreas Kvalheim, entering his twenty-first SHL season, is clearly not one of them. He's seen all the SHL has to offer, and now as the oldest skater left in the league has plenty of advice to offer the newest batch of Renegade rookies. First, the SHL is a long, tough grind. This year's Renegades team will be in a tight battle to even qualify for the postseason as the team is mired in the depths of a lengthy rebuild. While wins may not come aplenty, there will still be plenty of success to be found by just focusing on yourself and using each game as an opportunity to learn from and to improve for the next one. Keep at this process and eventually the wins will start rolling in.

Thelastheraclid · 09-17-2022, 01:15 AM

Asked Madden · 09-17-2022, 01:43 AM

Well crab Camaro today happens to be your lucky day because I just so happen to be an expert in crab highjinks.
Now little did you know you've actually been blessed by these critters camping out in your Camaro. Not only are horseshoe crabs funny looking things, they also happen to be full of some of the most valuable liquid known to man. So they have blessed you with a small fortune.
Set-up a meeting with your nearest science based college/university and get the crabmaro towed to the lab parking lot there. One thing you need to know about these crabs is they absolutely love having their ego strokes. So you should be able to coax them out one by one by calling them "the strongest grab you've ever seen" or "ain't you a pretty little lady" etc etc.
Then just bag them all up and bring them into the lab and collect your fortune. You'll not need that Camaro any longer as you'll be able to afford your own private jet

**Lime** · 09-17-2022, 02:37 AM

Well the very first thing you need to do is get a lawyer. Depending on how long those crabs have been in there, they may have some sort of squatters rights from inhabiting your car. It's tough to sue a single crab, its extremely tough to sue 60 crabs. Assuming they haven't broken anything and the car is still working, you probably won't be able to get the police to deal with them because they don't want to get snipped at over nothing. You are going to have to lure them out yourself, and then once they are out of the car then you can go after some kind of civil suit against them for holding your car hostage. There are many ways to remove crabs from an affected area, but your first step should probably be to play Crab Rave over a loud speaker just out of sight of the car. The crabs will become interested and scuttle over to investigate. You can sneak around them and book it to the car and drive it away from them.

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