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KenitohMenara · 03-16-2023, 12:33 PM

Dear SHL Community,

I finally plucked up the courage to type out this letter to all of you. The incident that happened during last season’s playoffs is well documented at this stage and the ramiifcations of this are evident. But I feel like instead of just hiding away and not responding (or just reading what people have said to me in private discord channels), I wanted to take this time to actually write out what happened and to just get this off my chest. It’s been weighing on me for far too long at this point and if I don’t get rid of it, it’s just going to fester.

I am writing this and placing this in the media portion of the website because I believe that is where it will gain the most visibility. To the media graders, please do not grade this article in any way and if I have posted this in the wrong sort of forum, then I guess that is just another mistake on my part.

After the Thursday stream of round one of the playoffs, I was informed by the new co-head of the Sim team, Blitz, that there were issues with stats regarding the file that GMs and other users had pointed out. When investigated, it was shown that the last week of updates had not gone through. Blitz then came to me asking about what happened and I was unsure how to respond until he asked me about the file. I went to check the File worker discord and saw that posted on Monday morning there was a new file that I did not download. Discord never informed me of the new ping for whatever reason and thus I continued on with the file I was using and was none the wiser about what happened until Thursday evening.

That however, is not an acceptable excuse under any measure. I have been simming for long enough at this point to know that a new file comes out on Monday and to check the server for it, especially during the playoffs when people are paying the most attention and any mistake is magnified. I should have known to check, I should have downloaded the correct file and then continued the playoffs as I usually had done. But instead, I did nothing and thus this massive controversy falls squarely on my shoulders.

As is well known at this point, because of this action I was fired from my role on the sim team which I accepted now as this was squarely my fault. But beyond that I had made multiple mistakes over my time in simming as many regular watchers and GMs know and have correctly pointed out. While no one has ever said that they couldn’t trust me or anything like that, I have caused more than my fair share of headaches for GMs and other staff around the league. The firing was justified and I am sorely to blame for that.

In the time since my firing I have had time to reflect on my actions and my work. I did hope at the beginning that maybe, after about six months or so, that I could return to the sim team if there was a opportunity because I did enjoy the work but now that I look back, I will probably not pursue it again because of this mess. I also can finally work up the courage to say this to all of you:

I’m sorry

I’m sorry for all the mistakes over the seasons, I am sorry for the controversy I caused and I am sorry to any person who has been negatively impacted by my actions. I don’t know if this apology means anything at this point but I felt like if I didn’t say anything, I would regret it for a long time. Especially to a community that has been as welcoming and accepting of me as the SHL community has.

I do want to thank the Sim Team for all the opportunities given to me and the members of Head Office that have reached out in the aftermath. Of course I want to thank Sparky for always standing by me and keeping me going during these times. I also want to wish the best luck to SD and Blitz in the future of the sim league, they have some great ideas of keeping things on track for the future. Also I want to thank all the GMs of the SHL who have always been wonderful people to talk to and have always been helpful to me.

You may see a retirement post for my player in the coming days but please do not think these two things are related. The plan was always for ASM to retire after Season 70. Whether I return to the league soon, I honestly don’t know right now but I do believe I have unfinished business so I look into it.

I hope that this apology and explanation has been useful and I wish you all the best.

Yours Sincerely,

Kenitoh Menara

***FuzzSHL*** · 03-16-2023, 12:40 PM

How am I just now finding out you got fired

My dude. Mistakes happen, it’s okay. Don’t be too hard on yourself.

I miss your streams.

Aleksi Kettu

***TheSparkyDee*** · 03-16-2023, 12:42 PM

LOVE YA BUDDY!!! Hate to see that happen!! NOT RIGHT! Will miss those KEN streams!!!

***Frenchie*** · 03-16-2023, 12:45 PM

I appreciate you taking the time to show this amount of vulnerability. It takes an absurd amount of courage and self awareness to be able to address the community in this manner and I have the utmost respect for that and for the time, energy, commitment you've poured into the league. Don't be too hard on yourself, despite the optics of what happened, in the end its nowhere as important as you feeling good, your mental health matters much more than that. Take care of yourself, and we look forward to seeing you back here when you feel the time is right!

***lore*** · 03-16-2023, 12:46 PM

I send you hugs and good vibes. ⊂⁠(⁠・⁠﹏⁠・⁠⊂⁠)

*Keven* · 03-16-2023, 12:48 PM

I think there's a lot of people on the site who appreciate the hard work that goes into simming and know that mistakes will happen. Nobody counts the number of times that you consistently did all the right things and put on wonderful streams, but I can say those occasions far outnumber the mistakes. We're all doing this for fun and I hope the situation won't prevent you from continuing to enjoy the league and feel appreciated by the community Heart

***Ragnar*** · 03-16-2023, 12:55 PM

I once stole real money from the SHL donation fund.

Sigs by Me, Merica, High Stick King, Rum_Ham, Jess, vulfzilla, enigmatic, and Carpy

❤!! RIP to the big homies 701 and Mac !!❤

RainDelay · 03-16-2023, 01:05 PM

Thank you for everything you’ve done! Hope to see you back!

***Chevy*** · 03-16-2023, 01:11 PM

Not just courage but being able to open up to a mistake, take the responsibility in understanding the necessary corrections and then now pressing forward.

Good on ya for taking this step

the5urreal · 03-16-2023, 01:11 PM

Your streams will be missed!

*slothfacekilla* · 03-16-2023, 01:25 PM

Shit happens Kenny, you're a real one for writing this up I don't think many people would have been able to. I hope you do decide to return to the league in some capacity!

***ValorX77*** · 03-16-2023, 01:25 PM

Take as much time as you need @KenitohMenara If you need to talk, my DM’s are open

***_Blitz_*** · 03-16-2023, 01:31 PM

It was never the intention to see any sort of public shaming or other attention given to the situation that wasn't on your terms after I made my State of the Sim post. That light that was shed after the Finals concluded cast undue shame on you for the mistake that was made. In my mind, the situation was handled and the sim team has been working to move forward. In line with that, I personally don't feel like you need to keep being sorry for what happened, since it's done and we were able to handle it with no permanent damage.

Ultimately I hold no ill will toward you. I hope you can move forward in the best way for you.

Henrik · 03-16-2023, 01:36 PM

Everyone makes mistakes bud, I think everyone on this site appreciates how much hard work you put into making the streams fun and exciting. You make the SHL a better place mate

**OrbitingDeath** · 03-16-2023, 01:49 PM

Lets all move on from it, no hard feelings Smile

hope you are doing okay and will recreate again.

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