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S71 PT #0: Is it solipsistic in here or is it just me?

Prompt 1

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Special thanks to Carpy48, Ragnar, Merica, High Stick King, Sulovilen, sothfacekilla, enigmatic and LeSizz for the signatures!

Philippe Eko Eel has just been told that he's not actually real and he's just a fictional entity created by some weird sicko to play fake simulation hockey. At first, he's totally shocked, as having been presented as a being with consciousness he had always assumed his reality was physical. However, once he got over the initial shock, things started to unravel and make a lot of sense. First of all, and most obviously, he's an eel. Eels don't have legs or arms... in fact they're just tubes. how could an eel ever possibly play hockey, a game that require both legs and arms, at all, let alone at the purported highest level. Indeed, many other players around the league couldn't and wouldn't plausibly play hockey either. Cartoon characters? PAWGs? how could this be? Philippe Eko Eel pondered the meaning of life and found himself persuaded by Daniel Dennett's multiple drafts model of consciousness, positing that the idea of a unitary consciousness in the first place is just an illusion, brought about as a byproduct of concurrent information processing within the same system.

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thanks @Carpy48 and @frithjofr and @rum_ham and @Julio Tokolosh and @Briedaqueduc for the sigs
Armada Inferno norway

Prompt 2: Jarrod Lakemore was surprised to find out a fan choose to make a virtual version of himself in an online hockey sim league. Though he had a solid junior career, he wasn't exactly a superstar and was a relatively late draft pick. Yet to make his SHL debut, he found it rather amusing that someone would choose his likeness for a sim league, even if he isn't familiar with the concept of sim leagues. Still, this early in his career, Lakemore is certainly not used to the fan attention and is far from jaded about it, so he agrees to help out what seems to be his biggest, and possibly only fan with an exclusive selfie to use for his virtual player. While he isn't particularly interested in the league itself, he does enjoy the fan interaction that has happened so seldom in his career thus far, and hopes his ascension into the SHL will only increase his popularity and fanbase. (164 words)

Citadelles  S68 - Jarrod Lakemore - C Stampede

Fileworker PT Pass

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Thanks to sulovilen for the sigs!
Adam Prpich Portal Link



Check out past episodes of Rich and Luke!

Conner and Lias (@sköldpaddor) we're relaxing in the hot tub on the deck in the Austrian Alps. They're usual off- season retreat together post IIHF tournament. Conner looked at Lias, the man he could say anything to and asked "Why is it called Simulation Hockey League?" "What if we're all just made up players inside of some alternate universe's weirdo sports nerds heads?" Lias started at Conner and said "Like imagine collectively there's a society much like ours that has a boring men's only, corrupt, ad-plastered, Vegas-odds driven hockey league that sucks and so they've spent over a decade making their own with cool teams and unique renders and epic narratives of rivalries and love?" Conner thought a moment "Can you imagine? I league where you DON'T get to play with a Mudkip on your team? "

Lias chuckled "Yeah that would suck, even if it is all simulated, it's still beautiful" And he leaned in to kiss Conner.

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"They did WHAT?"

Edmonton Blizzard goaltender Justin Time was irate. In front of him, a nervous team analyst gestured hopelessly at a laptop displaying a team lineup - his team lineup - on a copy of something called "Franchise Hockey Manager." None of the team had taken the news well. It seemed one of the greatest conspiracy theories was true after all - life as we knew it was nothing more than a simulation, and Time and his teammates were simply lines of code in the real world's emulation of a hockey league, its players built and controlled by nerds at keyboards. Most were grappling with existential dread. Time had a different bone to pick.

"You're telling me that I have a 20 in almost every attribute, and this says I'm one of the best goalies in the league, but none of it matters because the lazy developers don't know how the game works? That all of my work is for nothing? I don't know what this "TPE" is, but if I have so much of it, why am I still getting my ass kicked?"

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sig credit: Ragnar, Sulovilen, Enigmatic, Bayley
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PBE PT

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So the other day I was told that I'm not a real person and just part of a simulation. The more I thought about it, the more I realized it was probably true and while it was it is difficult to understand I came to realize that it doesn't matter. It doesn't matter if I'm a computer or a simulation it doesn't change the fact that I still have a job to do and people that still count on me. Knowing that is good enough to keep me on track to do my job. While I'm permanently scared for life because of learning this in a way it relaxes me knowing that if I mess up it doesn't truly matter but at the same time it's still real to me and everyone around me. I know that probably doesn't make much sense but neither does finding out your entire existence is just a line of code.



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Scarecrows Russia Wolfpack

Rest In Peace Dangel

1st SHL Goal - S52 Game 1 vs Tampa 3. New England Wolfpack , Jakub Bruchevski 1 (Eko Van Otter 1, Delver Fudgeson 2) at 8:10




Scarecrows Platoon Russia


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Prompt #2:

So, this can of root beer was surfing the internet one day and noticed that some fan was using his likeness to benefit winning 9 MVPs in this fake ass simulation sports league. At first, Barg was filled with rage and wanted to find this fan and spray them in the face with root beer. How is this little turd gonna win 9 MVPs as me!? But I can barely even sniff some ice time. I decided to check out this bum league myself to find out what was really going on. Then, I realized that this league was massive and people from all over the world came together to enjoy this sport we all love (do we?). I decided to stick around the nerd community. Then, I decided to make my own player. I used the nerdy fan's picture as my fake hockey player and went on to win 10 MVPs. I wanted to show him that you don't need to be an awesome can of root beer to be a winner; you just needed to be yourself. Now we're best mates. A can of root beer and a magic rabbit's foot.

197 Words

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Prompt 2
Kyle at first was confused and seemed a little annoyed which is uncommon as he usually doesn’t say much and when he does he laughs. This made it harder to talk with him but we got him sat down and told him everything and he was infatuated with the idea, He even joined the sim league himself with the fans name,
Oliver Wahlsteed. The fan was obviously confused seeing his own name in the app but after talking to them to see who it was he realized it was actually Kyle Latreille from the Stars. The entire day was them hanging out they went golfing and mini putting Kyle really made this day special for him. Before the day ended Oliver was asking Kyle if they were able to hangout sometime or if this is the only time he’ll see Kyle. He ended signing a game worn jersey and game used stick and giving them both to Oliver for something to remember him by and also said i’ll be back to put it on the wall in about a week or so. That’s exactly what happened.

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Sig made by - @Ragnar or @XxCL16xX (if you made one for me let me know ill tag you)

Prompt 2
Andre knew there were gonna be plenty of super fans so when he was told someone created him in a sim league he thought it was very cool but didn’t fully understand and thought it was more of a Fantasy league. When Dre went to find the sim league online he noticed right away that it was not a Fantasy league. He ended up checking it out and seeing where his player was. He ended up getting in contact with the fan and trying to get his perspective of how this stuff goes. He flew out to see the fan and, You could see the joy in both the fan (Tex) and Andres face they were both so happy to share this experience. Those are the moments you never want to forget. Tex hasn’t stopped smiling since seeing Andre he’s his favourite player and can’t wait to see him tear up the pro leagues. Andre ended his visit with giving the fan and fully sized Grizzlies jumper aswell as his jersey and his stick signed. Tex has never been happier.

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dude, what the fuck is going on. i found this nerd ass website the otehr day when i googled myself to see the most recent fights i was involved in at the loacl bar and some nerd probably with a gut stikcing out over their pant buttons used my player name to create a player ther or some shit?? This is so fuckign strange. First i am going to find this loser and fight him just so i can gnome dab over his dead lifeless corrpse, because lets be honest, no one on the internet can actually fight. fucking losers. also, wtf is going on with all the weeb shit? there are so many people with some dumb ass names and weeb ass images. place is super fucking strange. i should gnome dab on them too since they obviously cant handle being outside their moms basement. this is goingg to be a good time, know to figure out how to find these people....

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Prompt 2:  

Ty Murphy would send whoever it was a signed jersey and stick for sure.  Why not?  Its someone who is showing how much of a fan they are.  Fuck it, he'd pay for their college tuition and their kids college tuition too.  Spread the love, how much money does the SHL pay him to skate around and hit rubber?  Millions.  Whats 100K to a millionaire, ya know?  Might even exchange emails and become best friends.  Might even exchange xbox usernames and play a little COD together.  Might even hold hands and take a poo next to each other in joining stalls.  The world is their oyster at that point, how else can Ty Murphy show his appreciation?  Hell, the fan might as well come home and marry his sister at that point.  He could be the best man, ring bearer, maid of honor, the preacher, and the choir for the wedding.  That would be something wouldn't it.  All because some random nerd picked him for a render on a fake hockey league website.

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When I first realised that I wasn't real and this was in fact all a simulation I was kind of puzzled. On one hand it was hard to fathom such a thing, but on the other so many things made sense. Like we all had twitter for so long and could interact with humans on the outside of the simulation. But on the other hand there were always funny glitches where I would get de javu about re-watching playoff games for a second time and often getting a different result. In my mind the first time you would have players not any better than they were a week ago and now when re-watching it they are all better and faster and we have a different outcome to the game. Stuff like that just makes it so obvious in hind sight. Another thing that is just plain as day is that the league we play in is called the Simulation Hockey League. How did none of us see this before? It was staring us right in our face.

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