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Cycro · 12-18-2023, 01:26 PM

Please pick ONE prompt to write about. Do not mix and match prompts. Identify the prompt you are using in your submission - Copying and pasting the prompt will deduct from your word count so if you do this make sure YOUR submission is 150+ words excluding the prompt.

Option 1:

Written Task: An old-school hockey media boomer of whatever type you dislike the most is complaining about your player and demanding you be traded. Everyone who knows what they're talking about is already calling him a moron, but you decide to get in on the fun. Using your player's burner twitter/X/whatever it is this week account, write a trollpost response designed to infuriate the boomer media host and his fans. The sillier the better. Your objective is to make him angry and make everyone else bust their guts.

Graphic Task: create a 2008-style rage comic featuring your player render

Option 2:

Written Task: Describe a drill your player does with your goalie in practice. If you are a goalie, your task has not changed, but you get to decide whether you're drilling with your backup or playing with yourself.

Graphic Task: Create an Xs and Os diagram of an offensive play that involves your goalie. It does not have to be legal or make sense.

You will receive 3 TPE for fulfilling all requirements.

All responses are due on Sunday, December 24th at 11:59 PST. NOTE: IF YOU SUBMIT/EDIT AFTER THE DEADLINE YOU WILL RECEIVE REDUCED/NO TPE.

Affiliate claims from either PBE or ISFL or WSLB or SSL are accepted; link directly to your post and note if your username is different there.
If you have any questions/concerns, please PM me. Tasks with malicious intent will not be graded. The graders reserve the right to determine malicious intent, after discussion with me. You will not be warned.

This task is for SHL players and send downs only. If your player is S75, that's not you.

Troy_McClure03 · 12-18-2023, 01:36 PM

Dearest Scooter Savage of the Regina Chronicals,

We have been worried about you. Specifially your overall health. Everything from your greasy hair down to your tiny feet, you seem to be in total failure. Over the last few weeks now you have been showing signs of some degenerative brain disease. Your wife left you for being a failure of a sports analyst, which is not surprising considering you want Regina to trade the team leading shot blocker Troy McClure iiii. How is a team full of rookies suppose to win? Troy isn't a forward, he isn't going to score "40 a season." But he's gonna chip in a few. He's gonna get his assist. I know you think Troy should "Throw that body around" but the game today isn't slow and grabby, unlike you at the strip club. Maybe you should stick to giving out cheap tips, and let the teams core grow, including assistant captain Troy McClure.

Also, we all know it's a hair piece.

***luke*** · 12-18-2023, 01:43 PM

Pt pass

downer · 12-18-2023, 01:45 PM

PT Pass

ElMerchanto · 12-18-2023, 01:47 PM

PBE Affiliate

***Jexter*** · 12-18-2023, 02:10 PM

Option 1:

From Chirper @ grillmaster235643
I think Langston Hardison-Laurent should wear even more Hawaiian shirts under his gear. Clearly if you had done it, you may have broken 20 points a season at any level of play. Heck, I'm pretty sure I saw LHL drinking BBQ sauce during his hat tricks last week. I bet you scalded your hand on a piece of baby back ribs once and that's why you can't stand the sight of a player who shows up with food fresh from the grill for his whole team. Or is it because you are scared of gators, while Langston has one as a putter cover of one made for him since he helped wrestle one away from a toddler once. I bet you just wanna try and have Yukon tank since you are made LHL is second in goals. Second to someone with 2 years more experience in the junior level!

WC: 158

***Chevy*** · 12-18-2023, 02:15 PM

Code:
An old-school hockey media boomer of whatever type you dislike the most is complaining about your player and demanding you be traded. Everyone who knows what they're talking about is already calling him a moron, but you decide to get in on the fun. Using your player's burner twitter/X/whatever it is this week account, write a trollpost response designed to infuriate the boomer media host and his fans. The sillier the better. Your objective is to make him angry and make everyone else bust their guts.

(at)Walter48

You really need to get a life you old walnut headed boomer. I looked you up and your one season on the bench as a right defenseman back in college doesn't exactly scream merits at your ability to judge players in the SHL.(1/4)

Peanut? Sure, he's weird and definitely gets an odd look but he's already stopped more pucks in his career than pinewood benches you've warmed up. You're a joke, and anyone that has been paying attention (2/4)

to the real stats knows that he doesn't need to be traded. So sorry that its pissing you Off-fa-fa. You know what they say though. Those who can, play. Those who can't, scream nonsense at the top of their lungs(3/4)

on X to rile up the rabble that refills their coffers. Oh and by the way, rumor has it that you like jalapeno's on a stick. I'm sure your followers would love a comment from you on that one! (4/4)

(164 words)

spidey · 12-18-2023, 02:19 PM

------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------
|Bbewnagol
-----------------------------------------------------
|Therealronberry:
|
| Logan Webb is a showboat player with no real skills, he has relied on his teammates for any real
| points, and unwilling to drop the gloves or play tough hockey shows he is terrible. No hitting, No rough
| play in front of the other goalie, no off ice issues that we all pretend don’t exist. @LOGANWEBB
| BUST!!!
-----------------------------------------------------
|
| @Therealronberry I get it, it is hard to pretend to be relevant anymore. Your entire viewership base is
| dead or dying, much like your coaching style. Your grip on realty is loose at best. The fact you can’t
| see the game evolve and players of Webb’s style are the future shows how far you have fallen. Much
| like the Neanderthal griping to old ways as they believed they knew what was best and how to survive.
| You too are about to be a part of history as the hockey world sees the new age come through. Simply
| There is no need to kill yourself to be a star, those that do end up on the 4th line or never make it out
| of the J.
------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------

**JamesT** · 12-18-2023, 02:21 PM

Code:
Written Task: Describe a drill your player does with your goalie in practice. If you are a goalie, your task has not changed, but you get to decide whether you're drilling with your backup or playing with yourself.

Ben Jammin is all about making his goalies life much easier and for Mat Smith and Tummy Hurts in Chicago that is no different. During practice Ben is not hesitant to get in front of shots and block it for his goalie. There has been an instant connection with Mat Smith and Ben Jammin ever since Jammin joined the Syndicate. From afar, Ben saw how elite of a goalie Mat Smith was and all the remarkable saves he made. In practice the two have a drill where Ben would try to score on Mat Smith in 5 attempts, if Ben couldn't then he would have to take a shot from Mat Smith. Usually Ben would lose since he is not that good at scoring and Mat Smith is an amazing goalie and very hard to get a puck passed. Also, the loser would have to pay for the next team's dinner as well.

(153 words)

***sliceruser*** · 12-18-2023, 02:32 PM

written task option 1

It seems like after the previous stunt of punching chicken drumsticks from KFC has not swayed everyone to Alexandros’ toughness as that is certainly the part of his game that the boomer would be scrutinizing. Now bear with me hear as I live under a rock and had to google what I was even supposed to do for this.

Ahem, to the boomer it may concern, I (Alexandros Mograine) have heard and care deeply about your concerns about my game and its level of toughness on the ice. You are correct this must be mitigated immediately so I have put pictures of you around my home gym as examples of what weakness looks like to avoid in the future. To this end I have made it my goal to beat up 1 chicken drumstick for everyday until the end of the season and post the video to your x/twitter/Instagram or what have you and change absolutely nothing about my on-ice performance. Hopefully this is enough to change your opinion of me and if not, oh well.

-176 words

adamantium · 12-18-2023, 02:34 PM

Code:
Option 2: 183 Words

-----

"Honestly, we kind of do it all with Tibs when it's practice time. I mean, there's a lot of standard stuff, practicing tips, keep vision, we'll do some long breakout stretches sometimes just so we've got all of our tricks in the book lined up to throw the other guys off their game, but there's this stupid little drill we always used to do in Seattle that I wanted to see if I could get going down here--not that I'm trying to fuck up the pace of the place or anything, but we used to do this thing where we'd line three guys up in front of the netminder with pucks, have them all wind up for a slapshot out a ways, and then have only one guy actually fire the puck on net, just to test out reaction times. It was never really official, our coaches kinda gave us shit for doing it, but I tell you what, fuckin' Willie would always tell me that he felt like it was actually improving his reaction times, so maybe there's actually something to it."

sigs by me bitch

*Fluw* · 12-18-2023, 03:17 PM

PT Pass

ec06aaj · 12-18-2023, 03:18 PM

@hardesty @tuckandroll @estensor199 honestly i agree with you. matter of fact lets trade all the falcons d-men away. dunkler is lazy and coasting on the millions and millions he gets paid for only being a top 10 defenseman in scoring and mephi can't even score more than 1 goal every 3 games? i mean what do you employ defensemen to do? play defense? lmao don't make me laugh

@tuckandroll @hardesty @estensor199 oh yeah simo is a total bum as well. advanced stats are fake as hell, you can't measure hockey by equations and multiplying. why isnt he throwing massive hits and deliberately injurying people like they did back the good old days of hockey. you know, when players werent sissies about concussions and retired aged 29 with the brain capacity of a slug. trade them all! get some good blue collar gritty lunchpail hard nosed gritty violent actively-dangerous gritty blueline grit back on the ice. dickhead.

***KaleSalad*** · 12-18-2023, 03:37 PM

Written Option 1:

Upon reading the news about the boomer reporter Cale grabs Scoochie Strattons phone to post from. An account with a colorful history. “Wow what a bad take, Cale is not only right at home with the Philly forge but has been an absolute steal in the second round for the team. He plays a 200 foot game and is able to be trusted in every situation. Guess its easy to for players to know when it is time to move on from the game for one reason or another but same cant be said for journalists. Maybe we should start treating journalists the same as players past their expiration date if they can be this absolutely brain dead on a topic they write about every day. If I were the Philly staff I would be banning this guy from the scrum room and revoke his media pass credentials. Us forge players will always have each other’s backs lets go win this thing!”

Code:
162

*CptSquall* · 12-18-2023, 04:13 PM

Option 2:

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