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spidey · 05-14-2024, 01:59 PM

I can’t believe it happened, but the Spidey Talent Agency has been recruited to do some scouting for one illustrious franchise, the San Francisco Pride. It’s true typically I try to warn you about upcoming drafts, the tricky GMs and how to deal with contracts. Well, this team has met with me and has gained my personal seal of approval! This goes out to the upcoming prospects looking to get drafted onto a team in the season 76 draft.

Have you ever thought: “why didn’t the GMs reach out to me before the draft? I was really hoping to get scouted by someone, but they didn’t talk to me. I like toast. Wow San Francisco is loaded now and looks great for the future, I want to go there!” Listen we are all human and only have so much time to dedicate to scouting, this is your chance to get noticed and bumped up to the front of the line for the greatest franchise in SHL history (at least current locker room wise).

Now I know you are all hoping to get drafted early in this year’s draft. Unfortunately, that is not going to be the case for a lot of great players, such as yourselves. Fortunately, that means a lot of you have a chance to become part of the San Francisco Pride! We pick late this year, and we want the best. So as one of the most important scouts with the San Francisco Pride please reach out to me anytime if you are interested. I am in general easy to find, spidey0388 on discord.

Am I really worthy enough to be drafted by the San Francisco Pride… well no, but we should draft someone, and it might as well be you. So do your best to sell me on yourself and why:

What position do you like? And in the SHL what position do you play?

How big is your bank account? How much can you donate to me? How are you going to grow it, so you can donate more to me?

Are you a fan of Taylor Swift? (For some reason this is important)

HFFO, don’t apply…

What do you like about San Francisco Pride? (Very important)

Do you like to win? *Tell the other teams to bugger off than.*

Who is the better GM, Caleb or HFFO? (Honestly this is a given but need to test your intelligence).

What team are you currently playing for? Do you like them? What do you like the most? What did you dislike?

Because you are limited in creativity in juniors, what kind of player are you planning on developing?

What is your current TPE, what are you going to do to grow it? Do you plan on becoming a top earner, mid, just here to see what this is all about and leaving next season (these things happen, let us know)?

What is a unique talent that you have and how will it help the Pride win? (Mine is how to walk the line of getting in trouble without getting in trouble)

Coke or Pepsi? (This will decide if we are friends or not)

When do you plan on making the jump to the SHL from juniors? (Don’t worry we won’t tell your GM)

Which Pokemon is you favourite? (Very important and you will be judged, may god help you if you pick psyduck. We will tell your current GM.)

Can you touch your elbow with your tongue? (no, you can’t if you say yes, you are clearly a liar).

Anything else I should know? (Are you telling the other teams to bugger off?)

We wish all prospects good luck at the upcoming draft, feel free to fill in the application form and send it to spidey0388 on discord for absolutely no priority in our draft process. (We may use some of it to help make a decision). You will likely be personally contacted by Pride scouting. Do not take a cookie from a stranger. Help fight forest fires. Remember to spade or neuter your pets. Hug a loved one. And as always from the Spidey Talent Agency, remember I am not just an agent, I am also a privileged client, just like you so you know I have your best interest at heart.