Hi and welcome to SHL Cribs. Today we're with Winnipeg Aurora phenom Johnny FourStar. He's got an incredible loft in Downtown Winnipeg that needs to be seen to be believed. There may even be a special guest? Stay tuned for Johnny's Sick Pad, next on SHL Cribs.

I walk down a strange alley to an unmarked door. I think this is the right place, but it's hard to be sure. The air is stale with the smell of day old pierogis and human waste. The door, rusted yet rustic, stays closed without an answer. I wonder to myself if I have found the right spot.

Just as I was googling nice restaurants to go to instead of doing this installment of SHL Cribs, a man comes shimmying down the narrow passage and makes a beeline right for me. He introduces himself as Jimmy FourBars. I think to myself, close enough, and he says WELCOME. TO. MY. CRIB.

We enter the three story walk up through a cramped set of stairs. At the base is a bike that's missing the front wheel laid up against a stone statue of a pelican. The metal stairs make a sound that echoes through the entire vestibule. Jimmy FourBars tells me to watch my step because some of the stairs are missing.

We finally reach the top of the stairs, which opens out to an open concept loft apartment. This incredibly spacious area is full of dust and cobwebs. A bird chirps from a beam high up near the roof. Jimmy FourBars introduces the bird as Regis. He says he comes and goes.

I am immediately impressed by the exposed brick. This type of charm is hard to come by in Winnipeg! The kitchen is light on appliances, but Jimmy offers me a lukewarm diet rite from an open cupboard. Refreshing!

In a corner I see a floor to ceiling mirror, and nearby a full set of Winnipeg Aurora gear. I ask Jimmy FourBars what size Skates he wears, and he tells me he wears whatever is available.

A poster serves as the sole artwork in this apartment. It says "Jimmy FourBeans - Winnipegs Premiere Madonna and Johnny FourStar impersonator." And I realize I have been bamboozled. This is not Johnny FourStars loft apartment, but the abode of Winnipegs only Johnny FourStar impersonator.

I ask if there is a lot of money in the Johnny FourStar impersonation game. He says more than in the Madonna impersonation game. He pulls down a comically large graph explaining that the market for Madonna impersonators in Manitoba is overly saturated, meanwhile there is only one Johnny FourStar impersonator, so he does birthday parties, bat Mitzvahs, and bachelor auctions as the only Johnny FourStar in town, except the real one. I ask him if he's ever met Johnny, and he says "Only in spirit." I don't know what that means.

Jimmy FourBars offers to do his routine. I politely decline. He does it anyway. He turns on a boom box, which I immediately notice the speakers are blown out. It's playing Bel Biv DeVoe's "Do Me". He puts on aviator sunglasses and says "skate or die." I look for the exit. Jimmy FourBars blocks my escape. He begins to whisper what I now know after further research to be the rhyme of the ancient mariner. He tells me it's a nod to Johnny's days as a Vancouver Whaler.

I manage to slip out when Jimmy FourBeans starts counting the number of "floaters" he sees when he closes his eyes. I'm still holding 1/3 of a somehow-now-colder diet rite. I walk to the corner when I hear a voice call my name. I turn around and to my surprise it's the real Johnny FourStar. He asks me if we're still doing SHL Cribs today. I say that I've had a long afternoon. He tells me we can reschedule but it shouldn't take long. He points to a box on the street that he says he lives in. I take a picture of it on my phone and send it to my producer. I try to forget my afternoon with Jimmy FourBars. Although weeks have passed, I still remember every single detail.

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