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The Simmer Refuses to be Bribed!
#1

Johnny FourStar has had a rough career. Despite being very talented on paper, he has had a rough time translating that to simulated excellence. It just seems like the Sim doesn't want Johnny FourStar to succeed!

So today news broke that Johnny FourStar attempted to bribe the simmer to fix the games so that Johnny FourStar does well. But Johnny didn't know exactly how much he should offer. He started at $27, which is what he had in his wallet at the time, including pennies. The simmer scoffed and Johnny knew he had made a mistake. He then upped his offer to $40, on the condition that the Simmer also makes sure that the Manhattan Rage lose. The Simmer was not amused. Johnny then offered $40 and his YMCA card. Johnny tried to explain the benefits of being a member of your local YMCA, including "unlimited places to wipe your muddy dirty feet on", but the simmer was reluctant to accept. Johnny upped his offer to $51, but would need a couple weeks to move some money around in his accounts. Yet again, the simmer said no. Johnny thought this would be a good time to play hardball and lowered his offer to $38 and a YMCA guest pass valid for one day. Again, he was unable to cut a deal with the simmer.

Johnny then pleaded. If money couldn't get him where he wanted to go, maybe something else would convince the simmer to rig the SHL so that Johnny has decent statistics. Johnny offered the simmer four nights at his own place, the simmer could even have whatever flavor of popsicle they wanted from the fridge. The simmer pointed out that Johnny lived in a box and that the only popsicle flavor he ever had is banana, which some people like but the simmer said was a "non factor." Johnny offered to get the simmer into any of the big SHL parties they wanted, even the SHLs annual BBQ cookoff and sweater knitting party. The simmer noted that they are already invited to the annual BBQ cookoff and sweater knitting party and Johnny is on the "do not let knit" list. Johnny offered the Simmer his hockey stick, but the Simmer chimed in that it was a right handed stick, and all simmers are left handed.

Johnny is still considering other ways to bribe the simmer. Please let Johnny know what bribes the simmer has accepted from you in the past.

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#2

In the past I know a simmer has accepted a bribe of a homemade rice krispy square.

“The Wheel of Time turns, and Ages come and pass, leaving memories that become legend. Legend fades to myth, and even myth is long forgotten when the Age that gave it birth comes again. ... There are neither beginnings nor endings to the Wheel of Time. But it was a beginning.”

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#3

I've never bribed a simmer, but I've successfully threatened several.

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#4

08-27-2024, 11:48 PMHabsFanFromOntario Wrote: In the past I know a simmer has accepted a bribe of a homemade rice krispy square.

was it you who made them for yourself ?

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#5
(This post was last modified: 08-28-2024, 08:38 AM by Fluw. Edited 1 time in total.)

08-27-2024, 11:48 PMHabsFanFromOntario Wrote: In the past I know a simmer has accepted a bribe of a homemade rice krispy square.

It was a damn good rice krispy square too. When can you make me more?

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#6
(This post was last modified: 08-28-2024, 06:17 PM by HabsFanFromOntario.)

08-28-2024, 07:37 AMEvok Wrote: was it you who made them for yourself ?

Yes but also no lol

08-28-2024, 08:37 AMFluw Wrote: It was a damn good rice krispy square too. When can you make me more?

If we plan ahead next time we meet I can plan another batch

“The Wheel of Time turns, and Ages come and pass, leaving memories that become legend. Legend fades to myth, and even myth is long forgotten when the Age that gave it birth comes again. ... There are neither beginnings nor endings to the Wheel of Time. But it was a beginning.”

[Image: HFFO.gif]


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