Johnny FourStar Wants You To Eat At Tim Hortons
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![]() Registered S23, S45 Challenge Cup Champion
Johnny FourStars media swarm continued today as he took to a local Tim Hortons to engage with his fans.
"I LOVE TIMMY'S" shouted Johnny FourStar as he walked into the fast food establishment. "I LOVE THE HOT BREAKFAST SANDWICH WITH BACON AND EGG. CALL ME A FAN OF THE CLASSICS BUT I THINK IT'S CLASSIC FOR A REASON!" "I LOVE THE BREAKFAST BELT! WHO SAYS BLTS ARE ONLY FOR DINNER? I LOVE THE USE OF LETTUCE AND TOMATO ON A BREAKFAST SANDWICH! IT'S SO FRESH!" "I LOVE THE GRILLED BREAKFAST WRAPS! THEY'RE PERFECT FOR WHEN I NEED A BITE ON THE GO! I TEND TO PREFER THE SAUSAGE ONES, BUT THE BACON ONE IS DYNOMITE!" "I LOVE THE HOMESTYLE OATMEAL. WOW WHAT A TREAT! I LOVE COZYING UP TO MY HOMESTYLE OATMEAL ON A COLD WINNIPEG MORNING WHILE EATING IN AT MY CLEAN AND WE'LL RUN TIM HORTONS!" "I LOVE THE HASHBROWNS! BREAKFAST ISN'T COMPLETE WITHOUT THAT CRISPY POTATO TREAT! I HAVE TO ORDER ONE EVERY TIME IM ENJOYING THE MOST IMPORTANT MEAL OF THE DAY, BREAKFAST, AT TIM HORTONS!" "I LOVE THE COFFEE AT TIM HORTONS! THE ORIGINAL BLEND IS MMM MMM GOOD! I DRINK IT BLACK BECAUSE IT'S SO DELIGHTFUL. IT'S A GREAT PICK ME UP ON A BUSY DAY! BUT SOMETIMES I WANT SOMETHING A LITTLE SWEETER TO LIVEN UP MY MORNING, SO I GO FOR THE FRENCH VANILLA STYLE! VANILLA AND HAZELNUTS? THE FRENCH ARE REALLY ONTO SOMETHING!" "AND BOY OH BOY WE CAN NOT FORGET ABOUT THE DOUGHNUTS! THESE DOUGHNUTS MAKE ME GO NUTS! I LOVE ME SOME APPLE FRITTERS. THEY TASTE JUST LIKE FALL, MY FAVORITE SEASON, OTHER THAN HOCKEY SEASON! AND THEY HAVE SO MANY DIFFERENT KINDS OF DIPPED DOUGHNUTS! HONEY DIPPED, CHOCOLATE DIPPED, VANILLA DIPPED, MAPLE DIPPED. I WONDER IF THEY'D BE WILLING TO DIP ME LIKE A DOUGHNUT INTO ALL OF THESE DELICIOUS DIPS. AND WE'RE JUST GETTING STARTED!" Security comes to plead with Johnny to stop yelling out menu items in this busy Tim Hortons. "I'M ALSO A FAN OF THEIR MANY DIFFERENT TYPES OF CHOCOLATE DOUGHNUTS! IF YOUVE NEVER TRIED CHOCOLATE YOU HAVE TO TAKE A BITE OUT OF THESE. CHOCOLATE GLAZED IS MY ABSOLUTE FAVORITE TYPE OF DOUGHNUT. BUT WHEN I REALLY HAVE A SWEET TOOTH THERE'S ONLY ONE ANSWER, AND THAT'S THE DOUBLE CHOCOLATE BAY BEEEEEEEEE! DEATH BY CHOCOLATE AT TIM HORTONS YUM YUM GOOD!" Real cops barge into the Tim Hortons and demand Johnny FourStar comply. "HEY YOU JABRONIS I HAVE JUST THE DOUGHNUT FOR YOU! OLD FASHIONED PLAIN. THERE'S NOTHING WRONG WITH THE CLASSICS. MAYBE YOU WANT TO INCREASE YOUR CARBOHYDRATES WHILE AVOIDING MR. SUGAR. THE OLD FASHIONED PLAIN DOUGHNUT CAN SATISFY THAT CRAVING GUILT FREE!" " BUT MAYBE YOU WANT A DOUGHNUT JUST LIKE YOU REMEMBER AS A KID. AREN'T WE ALL LOOKING FOR THAT LITTLE BIT OF NOSTALGIA IN OUR MORNING? THEN THE OLD FASHIONED GLAZED DOUGHNUT IS RIGHT UP YOUR ALLEY. THE CLASSIC TASTE THAT ONLY TIM HORTONS CAN PROVIDE" As the real cops begin to subdue Johnny FourStar, he continues to revel about Tim Hortons vast doughnut selection. "AND I KNOW SOME OF YOU OUT THERE DEMAND YOUR SOUR CREAM DOUGHNUTS. GUESS WHAT, ME TOO! TIM HORTONS HAS US COVERED WITH A GREAT SOUR CREAM DOUGHNUT THAT PAIRS WELL WITH ANY MEAL, AND THEIR FANTASTIC COFFEE! ENJOY IT PLAIN OR GLAZED! HAVE IT YOUR WAY AT TIM HORTONS! " "BUT WAIT, THERE'S MORE! STRAWBERRY, STRAWBERRY VANILLA, BLUEBERRY! WHO NEEDS A CUP OF FRUIT WHEN YOU CAN HAVE A FRUIT DOUGHNUT! ADD IN A HONEY CRULLER AND YOU'LL BE IN PARADISE" Johnny has been put into handcuffs and is being dragged out of Tim Hortons. But he's still fighting to tell you all about his favorite doughnuts. "I USED TO ORDER BOSTON CREME ALL DAY EVERY DAY. IT'S THE TASTE OF MASSACHUSETTS! FOR ALL YOU NEW ENGLAND WOLFPACK FANS OUT THERE, YOU WON'T BE DISAPPOINTED WITH THIS FAITHFUL RECREATION OF A CLASSIC DOUGHNUT." "AND IF YOUVE TRIED THEM ALL, YOU WILL BE IN SHOCK AND AWE WHEN YOU TASTE TIM HORTONS SPECIALTY DOUGHNUTS. THE CHOCOLATE HAZELNUT ÉCLAIR DREAM IS TRULY THAT, A DREAM! AND THE SEA SALTED CARMEL DREAM TAKES THE PERFECT COMBINATION N OF SWEET AND SALTY RIGHT TO A DOUGHNUT. YOU'LL BE IN HEAVEN WITH THESE DREAMY FLAVORS!" As Johnny gets tased on the floor of Tim Hortons, he can be seen fighting to tell hungry patrons that each Tim Hortons offers many more in the way of doughnuts and that they should ask their local Tim Hortons proprietor about their unique local flavors. The Winnipeg Aurora take on the Texas Renegades tonight and it is unclear whether Johnny FourStar will be a free man and able to suit up for that game. We'll keep you posted on that story, and any new developments with the Tim Hortons breakfast menu. As Johnny was driven away in a squad car, one witness claims he was shouting "TIM BITS" repeatedly. What a dedicated fan. (832) |
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