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Troy_McClure03 · 12-30-2024, 11:40 PM

This is my 21rd weekly random ramblings around the Jr league and SHL. Please feel free to PM me on discord if you have anything to contribute or add.

Starting off with anything replied from last time, about, 2 weeksishago? Feel free to catch up right about....here

Thanks to the support of all the SHL players, the league has decided to drop the Escrow program this year. This was after @luke released the Earning sheets for the last few years, showing billions upon billions of dollars being earned and spent on various equipments, cards, and reportedly a 14 day vacation for @CloudRobot. Great job everyone! On a side note, everyone must pay a 5% processing fee to register for the union, who was a huge partner in fighting this 3% fee! Send your money directly to Troy McClure Streaming on discord. Checks, cash, money orders, cards, gifts, greeting cards, wigs, boxes, cat toys, and plastic bags are accepted, sorry no CODS.

@cake307 has raised over 14 million dollars so far to her NOFUNDME campaign. it appears someone has altered the posters to say "Support our efforts to Ban Edžus Ozolins from the SHL" which may be the reason the donations are so high. The number one Blizzard being purchased so far: Sour Patch Kids

@Ara Roisin Armagh has 0 spaces left in the shot blocking clinic, so if you didn't register, too bad!

@kahri The Manhattan Rage have raised over 300 bananas for charity ever since star center Betzee Nickelback asked fans to stop throwing hats. The total value of these Bananas has equalled 3 dollars, after the cost of cleaning all the spoiled bananas up.

@skyrrhawk Desjardins has been given a 5000 dollar fine by the Manhattan Police for illegally using a Zamboni on the streets for the "Puck Hour" Car pooling service. The plans are to fight the fine, and continue to drive the zamboni during rush hour, which is every hour in Manhattan!

@Rich did not say Hi back, but that's okay.

@downer did not get any Chili for x-mas this year, and that isn't okay.

- according to @luke , king of all data, the following users earned a total of 31.2 million off chirper this year. This , by the by-laws listed in the post here they are now the new rulers of chirper and must go chirp by chirp to ensure everyone is following the rules. We will do so on a turn by turn basis, starting at the top of the list for the first 2 years, and rotating through. So good luck, starting 2025 @Vandy until 2027! Please make sure to tag the next person to keep chirper moderated! @swoosh gets 2027-2029, @By-Tor gets 2029-2031 , @efischermann gets 2031-2033, @Keven gets 2033-2035, @CapnCooper gets 2035-2037, @leviadan gets 2037 - 2039, @OrbitingDeath gets 2039-2041, @retuperkele gets 2041-2043 , @gaby gets 2043-2045 , @leafsftw1967 gets 2045-2047. @JamesT gets 2047-2049, @Troy_McClure03 gets 2049-2051, @Renomitsu gets 2051-2053, @micool132 gets 2053-2055, and lastly @NJBadApple gets 2055-2057. Then starting 2057, it goes back to @Vandy ! So everyone be ready, you're turn will be up before you know it!

@kahri is in charge to make sure we follow this schedule! Thanks Kahri!

-@Jason Pique Boo has announced a partnership with fellow Chicago-Mates @Nike Ho Lee-Smokes, Sam Volta ( @Tripl3tsGamer ) and Elvar Gil-Galad (@Gaia Mormont ) to open their own Syndicate Deep Dish Pizza chain. They currently have 2 locations, both in the United Center. Guest can enjoy such amazing deep dish pies as the "S57 Deluxe" which comes with puck sized pepperoni, mushrooms, and olives, for 57.57!! At the United Center, getting a pizza that can feed 10 people for 60 bucks is a steal! For an extra 20 bucks you can rent a cart to roll the pizza around on during the game.

- @Beavie Claude L'Castor , Goalie for the Nevada Battleborn , has opened a new Candy shop in Nevada, and the number one seller? Scorpions! They catch the Scorpions, which are pests all around The Dodge Ram 1500 Hellcat Memorial Arena , and somehow transform them into a tasty sugar coated treat! Said Beavie: "I do not own the candy shop. It is a sponsorship deal with Beaver Tails. It is a clear misunderstanding." We checked and the store hung up on us when we called and asked if they sold Beaver Tails.

- @DarthDaevin Tiny Princess has a big problem with the SHL. That Problem? the Lack of Goons. Said Darth "

- Troy McClure IIII is currently tied with @Rankle Pork Tenderloin in New England for PIMS with 40. The reason? @luke decided to break the duo up. This has caused both defensemen to skate and swing their sticks wildly at anyone who gets too close to them. Said McClure "Luke is an amazing GM and I am sure he know what he is doing. I also know what I am doing, and that is blocking shots and then slashing anyone in the face that gets near me. I need Pork back, they were the ying to my yang. Without Pork, I'm all Sauerkraut. "

- @zeagle1 Jiggle E Puff of the Atlanta Inferno scored the fastest hattrick in recorded history according to @Jagg102. The Right winger, who is leading the Inferno , and the entire league, with 65 points through 37 games, scored 33 seconds, 8:14, and 10:52 in the first period against LAP. LAP has now asked the league to do a full blown equipment check, as it was reported that the stick has some sort of "Door Hinge" in the middle, allowing for a crazy slap shot!

- @By-Tor Marcel Beck of the Winnipeg Aurora is currently the most seasoned player in the SHL, playing in their 20th professional season. That is why they are proud to announce: Icy Spicy by M. Beck! This product will change your life, with an amazing aroma that is only better by it's price! Check it out at a store near you!

- The Piss Bowl in Thunder Bay has a Unique plumbing problem, and the solution is simple, Bring a Full Bladder to the game for 50 cents off any drink! Due to the unique water filtration system, adapted from Nasa, perfected by Brita, and somehow destroyed by Dasani (The fish piss of water) , the arena requires a heavy amount of ... urine, to maintain it's unique , Elk like piss coloring. So they are asking fans to come do number 1 and help support the 14th place team today!

-Czechia is Bestia!

@Seany148 and I have one more podcast to complete before we are free agents and no longer bound under contract to work together, with that being said, he has made it impossible to schedule with him. This is an advertisement for anyone to get him to commit to a time to do our last podcast so I can finally be free! My next upcoming podcast project promises to be at least, 40% more structured than last time.

Stay tuned for exciting information from @Ace in reference to SHL tonight!

The Card team has put everyone on notice, everytime you ask for a card to be made, it will take 1 more week to make it. To prove this fact, I have messaged everyone I could asking them when they are going to make the Jacob Maccabees worst person of the year card. By my count, we are looking at 2040 and going!

It's a new year. Do you want to be a new you? You don't have to, I think you are perfect just the way you are. Unless you aren't. I don't know. Anyway, 2 for 1 ribs this friday at ( @grok ) Dee Centerman IV, Jr's Rib hut, located in St. Louis, on Powell Street. Sink your teeth into some popcorn coated honey glazed ribs, with or without bones, and pick from your sides of raw apple slices, raw orange slices, or the combo back, of one raw apple and one raw orange mixed together and wrapped in bacon, then deep fried until golden brown. Meat not your thing? Then feel free to try the "Vegan Wings" which contain "100% Baseball bat cork" whatever that means. Give them a try today!

That will wrap it up for this edition. Thank you all for reading. Okay then, bye bye now.

(1500ish words, written in english, translated to binary, then transferred via 3.5 inch floppy disk to my old commander 64 and converted back into english, via typewriter. I scanned in each page and used software downloaded from a sketchy website that has turned my mouse cursor into a spoon and everytime I click my computer says "It's Magically Delicious!" which I have grown to like. Thanks for reading, grader, I feel like you get me! We should hang out sometime. Wait no, don't leave. Dang it, lost another friend.)

***cake307*** · 12-30-2024, 11:47 PM

I'll always be your friend, Troy. Would you like to have a single Blizzard on the NOFUNDME campaign's dime?

***kahri*** · 12-30-2024, 11:50 PM

i don’t know what i am in charge of but if you have any questions, comments or concerns please ping me with the words “OH WISE MASTER! HELP ME PLEASE” so i know it’s urgent