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Troy_McClure03 · 01-17-2025, 03:07 PM

This is my 22rd weekly random ramblings around the Jr league and SHL. Please feel free to PM me if you have anything to contribute or add! Hit me up on forums, Discords, or fill out This New and Improved Form here! Thanks to my kids for helping me fix it up!

As always, we will start off with recaps from last week. Feel free to catch up right on the stuff from last time....here

After a few weeks of litigation, and a judgement ruled against, Alexa Johansen @cake307 has been forced to return the 14 million dollars donated from the NOFUNDME campaign to get Ban Edžus Ozolins banned from the SHL. We reached out to @Seany148 about this. Seany said "Troy, you IDIOT, you know they are not going to ban me. You know why? Because I am the best! and every else in the worse!"

The Manhattan Rage have reversed their previous decision to throw bananas instead of hats, at the suggestion of Betzee Nickelback @kahri . Said the rep from the Rage : "How the hell'd we wind up like this? and why weren't we able.... to see the signs that we missed? Bananas belong on the tables." So from now on, all Manhattan Rage Fans are allowed to throw hats back on the ice.

Speaking on the Rage, they were forced to borrow a Zamboni from the Philadelphia Forge after Céleste Desjardins @skyrrhawk left the ride share Zamboni outside and it was impounded. We were told to share the following video with Desjardins please watch this . A special thank for to @Acsolap and @KaleSalad for lending out the Zamboni.

The United Center has now opened drive-Thru lanes on the East and West sides of the buildings to allow quick easy pick up of your pizza orders! the Syndicate Deep Dish Pizza Chain, or SDDPC as it is called now, owned by Elvar Gil-Galad ( @Gaia Mormont ) , Sam Volta (@Tripl3tsGamer ) Ho Lee-Smokes ( @Nike ) and Pique Boo ( @Jason ) has been so successful during the home games for Chicago that they are now open 7 days a week. Delivery options will be coming soon! The most popular pizza item has been the Alexandros Mograine's Deep Deep Dish ( @sliceruser ) This pizza is 2 22 inch deep dish pizzas, stacked on top of each other with a 22 inch chicken cutlet pounded out and deep fried and then placed in the middle. According to one person enjoying it on the back of the pick up truck they needed to rent to bring it home "They can't be making money on this. look at it, its 18 pounds of pizza. They only charge you 20 bucks for this. It doesn't make sense. It's got 20 bucks worth of chicken on it. I just don't understand how they are managing this, but it is great pizza. I am going to go feed 2 shelters with this pizza." Website coming soon!

The State of Nevada is looking into if a crime was committed by Claude L'Castor @Beavie who opened up the candy shop in Nevada. According to reports from state officials, several people fell ill after consuming the candy coated scorpions that were being picked up along the grounds of The Dodge Ram 1500 Hellcat Memorial Arena. After further review, it was noticed that the grounds crew was spraying heavy pesticides to keep the scorpions away from the arena. Said Claude "We were not aware that the batch of produce we were being sold contained pesticides, and we are looking for a better source for our scorpions." We will update on this story as it unfolds.

Last time we forgot to add the quote from @DarthDaevin Tiny Princess. our apologizes. Darth wants more fighting in all leagues. Said Tiny : " James and Ocho are both very Stinky. that Troy McClure guy is okay, I guess." We assume that Tiny is speaking about Greyson Willis, who goes by @ocho in the Carolina Kraken locker room. And we assume James is in reference to Kim Chaewon ( @JamesT ) of the same.. locker room...

I think Tiny wants to fight the entire Kraken? We reached out to the Raptors, who did not reply at this time.

Troy McClure was on a point streak, I just want you to all know that. Now Troy is out of the playoffs. Sad.

-@luke : Congrats on hitting 1 Billion Dollars!! I assume with the money you will be buying every card in the card shop? Seriously though, that is a crazy thing to pull of, so well done!

- Tons of new podcasts have been popping up this year, and we think we found the reason. @Rich said "Luke and I are tried of being the only game in town, you all need to step up big" and @downer said "More Chili, but in this case, Chili is the (Pod)Casts, ya dig?" and

-The Toronto North Stars were given a 5 million dollar fine for excessive celebration after defeating the New England Wolfpack 5-4 in game 5 in the first round of the playoffs. According to league sources, the North Stars refused to leave the ice after the victory, excessively celebrating and skating around the ice. Said overtime hero Mac Griddle (@mcgriddleluver ) "We were really nervous coming into the game, you know NEW has a tendency to go down in a series and then come back and win it all. Lucky for us we figured out how to score, all you gotta do is shoot the puck super slow. That goalie they got, he just doesn't move. It is like playing a toddler in bubble hockey, just too easy... TOO EASY!" We reached out to NEW for some comments, but everyone was still in shock.

- With all the 2nd round series tied up 1 to 1, it is still anybody's cup. So feel free to vote in the poll attached to see who you think will win. Exciting Series ahead!!

- Lots of GMs are stepping down recently, with spots open in Baltimore , Toronto , WJC , and even maybe more soon! With that being said, it is time to speculate... what is the HO doing that is making all these GM's step down? We asked around the league but all the GM's were tight lipped about it, but we suspect that the league is trying to add a 5% GM tax to the GM's salary. What proof do we have? none. But does that mean we can't talk about it? no, we can. According to the source, the league is bleeding money. They asked Luke not to release the numbers yet, but we hear rumors that the crypto coin that the SHL dollars are based on will soon crash, causing our training cost to double or even double double with a boston cream...

-Atlanta Inferno have been on fire, and it is in part by superstar Jae-ik Barron (@charlieconway ) Jae-ik lead the way for the Inferno , and the entire SHL, with 64 goals this season. The next closest players had 45. That's a whole Troy McClure in difference (I scored 19 this season!) . So as per league rules, Atlanta's players will all be tested for various drugs and also asked to write essays as to why they did so well. Every play will be under review and if they happen to make it to the finals, they will be stripped of the title of anything is found to be wrong. So watch out or else @micool132 will have to say "Imma win the cup then lose it on a technical issue"

-_-New Years Resolution Check in!! -_-

Keep up your progress, if you haven't made any yet, that is okay, the year is long! Start today if you can, schedule time to check in, set small goals, and soon those small goals become big things! you can do it!

--The following is brought to you in part by the "Sell Yourself" campaign, funded in part by the SHL users for advertising for yourself , incorporated. Find more information about them and the cause they fund here

--Tired of seeing people get picked before you in the draft? Want to have a "higher draft stock" than somebody else? Try the following:

-Post Media! there are tons of sections on the forums to do so, like here and here and even here! Post away, keep things light and fun, or open some history books and learn about this wonderful league here!

--Do podcasts! Podcasts are a great way to express yourself, talk about the league with friends, and invite new friends onto the podcast to learn about them!

---Be active in discords! The General chat has the same bandit of cool people, but if that isn't your scene, post pet pictures, or even talk about that weird NHL.

----Give @downer a gift card to Wendy's. He loves what is called "the Downer" which is just the baked potato with chili , bacon, cheese , and a little sour cream on top. You give him that, he gives you the keys to the city (seriously, don't do it, I just had to double up on my downer mentions because I skipped a week! )

Any questions? Contact @JamesT on Discord or here. He loves to be pinged!

- The New England Wolfpack were defeated by the Toronto North Stars after 5 games. Hear some of the wolfpack cry about it here!

-@kahri and @Pyro182 have the best new podcast this year with the KAHRYO PODCAST. Listen to what you missed here!

- A new limited edition Lima Bean Flavored IPA has dropped by the Hip-Hopnonymous Brewing Company in San Diego. According to Captain Obvious of Czechia and the San Diego Tidal, "MS blows, IPAs suck, and lima beans are devil spawn" feel free to donate to the MSAA fund here

-Trading cards are always being updated! Check out all the new ones, and make sure to open a few packs yourself! the discord is a great way to ask for trades and get some more value, lots of people in there have tons of duplicates they will be willing to trade away! check it out!

-The Ottawa Highlanders have found a new product, and they said "watch out Highlighters, here comes the Highlanders!" the Highlander Highlighters will be released just in time for the IIHF tournament after playoffs. Colors like Spaceman Spiff Green (@Vrain ) , Hotdog Lunch Brown (@papjon ) , Leo Carlsson Blue (@Rojjter ) or Pierre LeBlanc White (@kilopeter ) , and more will be sure to HIGHLIGHT your Highlander day! The hopes are to sell over 1 million packs to help support the teams new locker room. Currently the climate control in the locker room consists of 3 fans that are blowing at each other and a water cooled Dell inspiron 530 tower with integrated graphics and dusty fans for heat. So support the team today!

That will wrap it up for this edition. Thank you all for reading. Okay then, bye bye now.

(2000 Words, all handled with love and peace with some chicken grease. Also I had to re-host all my banners and went with the cool blue over the green this time around, I think that's worth at least 100% bump, yeah? Thanks for reading Grader best of luck!)

***luke*** · 01-17-2025, 03:10 PM

not a billion yet,, but soon

By-Tor · 01-17-2025, 03:11 PM

01-17-2025, 03:07 PMTroy_McClure03 Wrote: - Lots of GMs are stepping down recently, with spots open in Baltimore , Toronto , WJC , and even maybe more soon! With that being said, it is time to speculate... what is the HO doing that is making all these GM's step down? We asked around the league but all the GM's were tight lipped about it, but we suspect that the league is trying to add a 5% GM tax to the GM's salary. What proof do we have? none. But does that mean we can't talk about it? no, we can. According to the source, the league is bleeding money. They asked Luke not to release the numbers yet, but we hear rumors that the crypto coin that the SHL dollars are based on will soon crash, causing our training cost to double or even double double with a boston cream...

Mascot arena fight to the death to see which team is cut from the league. A platoon or a north star? who knows smh, cut them both

Credit to enigmatic, Merica, tweedledunn, and jaypc8237 for sigs

Beavie · 01-17-2025, 03:12 PM

Claude is innocent until proven guilty under the law!!!

Rojjter · 01-17-2025, 03:29 PM

leo mention

jason97 · 01-17-2025, 03:53 PM

Micoolisgonnawinthecup

Vrain · 01-17-2025, 04:14 PM

01-17-2025, 03:29 PMRojjter Wrote: leo mention

Give me back my fan!

Rojjter · 01-17-2025, 06:21 PM

01-17-2025, 04:14 PMVrain Wrote: Give me back my fan!

there's only 3 fans, and it's reserved for second line. Deal with it bucko

Pyro182 · 01-17-2025, 06:39 PM

01-17-2025, 03:07 PMTroy_McClure03 Wrote: -The Toronto North Stars were given a 5 million dollar fine for excessive celebration after defeating the New England Wolfpack 5-4 in game 5 in the first round of the playoffs. According to league sources, the North Stars refused to leave the ice after the victory, excessively celebrating and skating around the ice. Said overtime hero Mac Griddle (@mcgriddleluver ) "We were really nervous coming into the game, you know NEW has a tendency to go down in a series and then come back and win it all. Lucky for us we figured out how to score, all you gotta do is shoot the puck super slow. That goalie they got, he just doesn't move. It is like playing a toddler in bubble hockey, just too easy... TOO EASY!" We reached out to NEW for some comments, but everyone was still in shock.

Yesssss, give us more fines, strike us down and we will become more powerful than Head Office has ever imagined.

sliceruser · 01-17-2025, 07:14 PM

Mograine pizzas get them while they are hot, it will feel like multiple ghost pings in confusion until fully released xD

***KaleSalad*** · 01-17-2025, 07:50 PM

Love this write up!

Nike · 01-18-2025, 12:49 PM

01-17-2025, 07:14 PMsliceruser Wrote: Mograine pizzas get them while they are hot, it will feel like multiple ghost pings in confusion until fully released xD

Poll: Round 2 Who's gonna win the cup SHL You do not have permission to vote in this poll.
TEX	6.67%	1	6.67%
NOL	0%	0	0%
CGY	0%	0	0%
SFP	20.00%	3	20.00%
PHI	13.33%	2	13.33%
TOR	0%	0	0%
TBB	6.67%	1	6.67%
ATL	20.00%	3	20.00%
None of them, It'll be an 8 way tie (pays out 1 trillion to 1)	33.33%	5	33.33%
Total		15 vote(s)	100%

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